Weddings are usually the beginning of a beautiful life together–but sometimes, sadly, they are the beginning of the end. Sometimes people see red flags before the wedding … but they ignore them; other times people find out right after they get married that their partner isn’t who they thought were.
In the following stories, newlyweds realize they just made a huge mistake. Fortunately, most were able to escape with their sanity!
42. The Reason Behind Her “Quick” Promotion
A cousin of mine married someone who seemed like the perfect woman. They worked in the same store together, and he would brag about how his wife was getting promoted quickly in the company.
A few months into the marriage, she tells him she’s going out with friends for the evening. An hour or so later, my cousin gets a call from one of his friends. The friend saw her having dinner in a restaurant … with the manager of the store that they both worked at. Once he confronted her about it, that was basically the end of the marriage.
41. “I Just Don’t Find You Attractive Anymore”
I still am dealing with trust issues and this was over six years ago. You think your entire life together is going great. We just got a puppy and new car, and we were moving into an apartment we never dreamed we could get. She was finishing up classes at a four-year college. We’d been high school sweethearts since ninth grade, so we had over seven years together. About six months into being married, we went out to dinner and all was going great. Not even 30 minutes into the meal, she started to get very emotional but wouldn’t say why. Concerned and worried for my wife, I excused us and we headed home. Mind you, this entire time, I and everyone else thought things were going incredibly well; I felt on top of the world with our lives. Then she tells me, “I just don’t find you attractive anymore. When I walked down the aisle six months ago, I kept repeating to myself, ‘Don’t do it, don’t do it,’ but I couldn’t let you down. There’s someone at my work who just gives me the attention I need and I’m really attracted to him. We’ve spent some time together.”
Now, this isn’t one of those, “He didn’t see the little things adding up” or “He’s only telling one side of the story,” type situations. The rug and the Earth were ripped out from beneath me. Her family and friends all tried to talk to her and her parents apologized profusely. No one had a clue or believed it at first. I crashed at a friend’s place and continued to try and talk to her about it and about seeing a counselor. She refused. I told her that both of us need to see someone together as well as individually. Still refused and called me a dirtbag for suggesting it. In retrospect, it’s the best thing that has happened to me. I was able to focus on myself and I met my current amazing wife and I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else. And now we have started a family and have a little girl. That fear of my entire world flipping upside down is still there and those trust issues have taken so long to work through.
40. What A Jerk
My husband was out of town on a business trip. I had surgery scheduled at the same time. I had the surgery and there were complications. It was supposed to be a one-day surgery and I should have been home that evening. I ended up in the ICU for two days and the hospital for four more.
I had a tube down my throat and was in the ICU. I couldn’t talk at all. So my friend called my now ex-husband and told him that I had almost died and was in the ICU and he needed to come home. His reply, “Well, she didn’t die so I’ll be home when my business trip is over.” After he got home and I got home from the hospital, he was nice enough to leave the hotel invoice on our dresser. A room with two occupants.
39. When Karma Strikes So Hard
I didn’t even know I was getting a divorce. I received the divorce papers in the mail. My ex was in the Navy at the time and about to retire. Her last duty station was in Michigan. We had been in the DC area for about 12 years before the last transfer came. So I stayed in DC as our home was almost paid off and after three years, she would be back to settle here for good. One of us would travel back and forth once a month. We had been together for about 10 years before we got married. About three months before her retirement, I get the papers from the State of Michigan that stated: “in 30 days, you are divorced.” Apparently, she talked to a JAG officer about her retirement and he suggested she divorce me so she wouldn’t have to split her retirement check with me. Heck, I paid all the bills at the DC house and most of the ones at the Michigan house. I didn’t want to fight, so we got divorced. I did keep all of my stuff, house, car, motorcycle. And she didn’t ask for any of my business.
About four months later, I got a call from her. She said, “Um, I don’t seem to have enough money to pay my bills.” I told her that was not my problem. It felt really good. It’s been four years now and I get a call every now and then of her telling me she misses me and loves me and she can’t pay her bills. I love when she asks me for money … it’s the best “No,” I can give in life.
38. She’s A Pain In The Balls
Things were kind of rough right from the beginning. She went from always wanting to make love, to just wanting it, to reluctantly agreeing to it about once a week almost right after we got married. That wasn’t so terrible, but simply a negative change most people would just deal with. The rest was like the frog who slowly got boiled to death. Things went south really fast when we tried to have a baby and I found out I was sterile. To make a long story short, she would berate me about my condition constantly and threaten to leave me. Anytime we were about to try some new treatment, she’d say, “If this doesn’t work, we’re getting divorced.” The day I came home from my urologist with my diagnosis, I told her and started crying and went to hug her. She pushed me away, saying that we should probably just get divorced. Nonetheless, I persisted, and we even tried marital therapy. I tried various treatments for my sterility, including something called a TESE, which means they cut your sack open looking for little swimmers with a microscope. They found nothing. The recovery was painful, like being kicked in the balls for a week long. When I made that comparison, she said, “I feel like kicking you in the balls right now.”
Her family was just as bad. Her brother refused to speak or look at me. Her mother yelled at me that we should get an annulment. Her parents were convinced that I “tricked” her, that I had known that I was sterile, but fooled her into thinking I had no such problem, because after all, who would want to be with an infertile man. Also, she had this habit of pointing out oddball guys and saying, “Bet he’s got some good little swimmers.” Well one day, we were fighting and it just hit me; I just decided I couldn’t take any more. I thought, “Maybe I’ll just take you up on that divorce.” So I waited until she left to work and I got my clothes and went to the bank to split our savings and went off to re-start my life. I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed the sun shining in on my car that afternoon when I left. About three years later, I met a wonderful woman who accepted my condition. We’re married and have an amazing baby daughter who was conceived via a donor. Getting a divorce was the best decision I ever made. I just wish I could get back the years I wasted on her.
37. With The Bridesmaid
We got married in late May. By August or September, I found out from my dad that my husband (now ex) and my brother’s wife were texting sweet nothings to each other. She was also my bridesmaid at our wedding. She felt guilty and told my dad who had to tell me.
I forgave him like a dingus and about a year and a half later I found pictures of him cheating on me in our house and also wearing quite a bit of my nice makeup. All of this AFTER we moved to Washington from Florida. It’s been wild. We’re obviously divorced now.
36. Cheaters Never Win
My ex-husband begged me to have kids; I wasn’t ready but I thought he loved me. We had money, insurance, he was my high school sweetheart, seven years together, first year married … why not, I thought. Two miscarriages later, I caught him sending explicit messages to his best friend’s girlfriend. As I read through the messages I noticed the first one started with how horrific my miscarriages were. He thought I was infertile and was looking for a way out.
It turns out there were issues on his end, not mine. I talked to him a decade later and he thinks god punished him for what he did to me and that’s why he never had children. I have a daughter now. Karma is good.
35. Mind To Help?
Not me but a female friend I knew got divorced four to six weeks into marriage. Her husband at the time basically spent a few years prior to the marriage being a bit of a salesman to everyone.
Once they got behind closed doors his “traditional marriage” roots really came out. They both had fast-moving careers, and while he was OK with her making money and having a career, he also expected her to cook, clean, take care of the dogs, etc. and never lifted a finger. He would just come home and pound drinks until dinner time.
34. “What You Don’t Know Won’t Hurt You”
The moment of realization came when my (apartment) neighbor asked me how I was okay “with all of that.” The conversation went like this: Me: “Okay with what?” Him: “Oh, with being in an open marriage …” Me: “I’m sorry, what now? Come again?” Him: “Yeah, she told us you guys were in an open marriage when we saw her bringing guys home to your house while you were working.” Me: “I’m sorry, what now?” AWKWARD SILENCE. Welp, thanks for letting me know, or I’d still be in the dark about this “whole open marriage thing.”
My neighbor was a buddy of mine. We’d look out for each other and hang out whenever our schedules allowed. His wife and my ex used to hang out, too. We’d go on double-dates and play cards, etc. I had shared some of our challenges/struggles with him, so I think he was just trying to muster up the courage to point out that my ex was allergic to monogamy. She, my ex, had daddy/male attention issues. I think it was a compulsion for her to seek out male attention to “fill the void” that her absent father left. She was two years old when he bailed. At that time, it was our second (and last) attempt at our marriage. I had found out about seven months in that she had been involved with a boyfriend throughout the entire time we were engaged/married. We separated for about nine or 10 months after that. Then we decided to try it again, moved five hours away, and gave it another go. After he brought it up, I started digging. The more digging that I did, the less happy I was with the results. I found out that there were multiple indiscretions during both marriage attempts. Lots of boyfriends, some of them in our marital bed. I was earning six-figures at the time and after doing a personal audit, I figured she spent over $1,200/month on clothes and gifts for her boyfriends. So after I stopped depositing money into our joint account, she started telling me about the physical interactions that she had participated in, just to hurt me. Also, if your significant other cheats, DO NOT find out the details. It will mess you up, for a very long time. We were both young and I don’t “fault” her. She was broken inside and was unable to cope with it. It is what it is.
33. Not A Girls’ Night Out
She went out for girls’ night and met a new friend named Nicole at a bar. She started texting her a lot, then going to hang out now and then.
We had a baby at home and she kept trying to go hang out with this girl from another town over with no last name whom I was not allowed to meet. Turns out her real name was Wesley.
32. One Of The Disadvantages Of Having Overprotective Parents
My mother-in-law got married the first time when she was really young. She left him a month later. Turns out he was a raging alcoholic.
She had no idea because her family was super overprotective and they were never really allowed to spend time together alone before they got married. Who knew spending time with someone could be the key to knowing if they are a good partner?
31. Over Petty Differences
We dated for five years but on the honeymoon, we had a big argument over my liberal use of sunscreen. She refused to wear any because of “chemicals” and I liberally use it due to my ginger skin. We seriously argued over this for a good hour and she refused to even go into the pool with me because of sunscreen chemicals. After a scuba adventure with her, she could hardly walk because she got so burnt on her legs whereas my skin didn’t change. She then tried to convince me that it was all my fault because I didn’t force her to wear sunscreen and that the honeymoon was ruined.
It was then I realized I picked the wrong person. After a few more psycho arguments (mad at me because of something in her dreams, mad because I didn’t remind her to bring an umbrella …) I had to call it quits. I can’t stay with someone who constantly blames me for their own problems. Luckily no kids and I got back everything I brought into the marriage.
30. A Gut Feeling Can Be Right
Not a year, but about 18 months. She was constantly complaining she didn’t have friends after moving in with me. She joined a local soccer team, and she talked about one teammate nonstop for months. I had a bad feeling about it from the get go but she assured me they were “just friends” and “how dare I not trust her.” I thought I was going crazy because my gut told me something wasn’t right but I was punishing myself for being a bad husband and not trusting my wife.
Turned out it was all true; she had been sleeping with the teammate for months. Last week, we split officially, amicably and without any mess, thank god.
29. In Front Of His Entire Family
Less than a year into actively trying to get pregnant he got discouraged, gave up and started staying out until 4:15 am with his “coworker.” He posted selfies on her couch on Snapchat and even went as far as asking her to marry him once he could get rid of me. He had two biological children (my stepchildren) that he abandoned at home with me while he was out doing this.
The icing on the cake was that on my favorite holiday, while holding my brand new baby nephew in front of his entire family, he told me he wanted a divorce. I was gone in two weeks, left everything to him, and vanished. A new number, new address, everything. Best choice I ever made.
28. Hurting Someone Isn’t Funny At All
The day after we got married he slapped me across the face hard and completely out of the blue. No argument, no conversation leading up to it, nothing. He said it wasn’t that hard of a hit, he was just kidding around, and I was being overdramatic.
He had never gotten violent with me while dating, but as soon as we got married it was like a switch flipped and he was a COMPLETELY different person. It got worse very quickly, and I ended up filing for divorce 73 days after we got married.
27. “He Never Really Love Me”
My brother died a week after my wedding and after about two months, my husband told me that was just too big of a thing to happen at the beginning of a marriage. I tried for six more months and then just gave up.
It was then that he also told me he never really loved me; we had just dated for a year and he thought that was what we were supposed to do. I have dealt with the guilt of “if I hadn’t had the wedding, things would have turned out different and he wouldn’t be dead now” for 18 years.
26. He Wanted A Mom, Not A Wife
I divorced my ex when I figured out he just wanted a mom. I cooked, cleaned, grocery shopped, made his appointments, went to school full time and worked full time. We got into an argument one time because of this. I told him I also worked too and I would like some help. His response was “Yeah, but I work harder!”
Three weeks after we got married I called my dad and told him I needed help; he drove three hours from Dallas with his rundown pickup truck to my apartment. We packed as much of my stuff as we could and left. I served him with a divorce a few months later and I’m so so so happy I came to my senses. I was young, dumb and thought I was in love.
25. She Begs And Cheats
I knew it was a mistake about two months into our engagement. I actually broke up with her for a week but didn’t tell anyone other than my parents. Something just didn’t feel right. She ended up begging me every single day and I just felt really bad and got back with her. We pretended like it never happened. We got married nine months later and she ended up cheating on me a little over a year into our marriage. I still don’t understand her logic behind all that but whatever. It’s done and I’ve moved on but I’ll never understand why she wanted me back so badly and did that not even two years later.
I’ve remarried and we’re planning on starting a family soon. I would’ve never imagined rebuilding after what happened with my ex. Keep the faith and things will turn around.
24. “I Was Stupid Enough To Believe Him”
Our thing was over before we even got married. I never wanted kids and never wanted to get married, which he knew. Lo and behold, I got pregnant, he wanted to keep the baby, I had no health insurance, so we got married.
I love my daughter to death, but getting married was the worst mistake of my life and I knew before we got married that we were doing it for the wrong reasons. We divorced a year later. To the ladies out there: never trust a guy when he says his doctor told him that he’s infertile because he has “slow swimmers.” I was stupid enough to believe him.
23. Not Gonna Be Your Cash Cow
My dad got back from his honeymoon and went back to work. He came home and something felt off when he walked in the door. She wasn’t there when he got home from work, which was very odd for her since she got off work earlier than him and was always home when he got back. When she got back he mentioned that it was out-of-the-ordinary that she had been out and asked if she went somewhere. He wasn’t accusatory, just curious because it never happened, but she dodged his questions at first. Eventually, after he got suspicious of her for dodging a simple question, she admitted that she’d quit her job, and when he asked why, she said she didn’t need to work. So she was planning on using him as her cash cow. He doesn’t remember how the conversation went exactly since it was 30 years ago. He tried counseling and asked her to get her job back but she always brushed him off and never took him seriously.
He threw in the towel seven months later and she started trying to fix things, but it had been seven months of him trying to fix things and she had no interest. So he filed for divorce and went on to achieve his lifelong dream: he dated and then married his middle school crush, my mom. 28 years strong.
22. He’s So Abusive
My sister got a civil marriage. Then they moved super far away to the middle of nowhere cause he got a good job. My sister never finished college and he would remind her on a daily basis about it. She would get super depressed and he wouldn’t believe her. She got sick once and he told her since she didn’t go to the DMV that day she wasn’t allowed to go to a theme park we were planning on going to that weekend. He would demean her whenever she couldn’t get a job or even an interview, and she applied to practically everywhere within a 50-mile radius. He called her stupid in front of me and when I called him out he told me to mind my own business. If he wasn’t twice my size I would have decked him.
She left him after about a year cause he’s obviously got issues. When she left he told her she has nowhere to go and if she went to stay with our mom she would just be a burden like me. I was like 19 and in college at the time. He’s abominable but at least she got the car and the dog.
21. Always Pay Attention To The Red Flags
The final straw was finding nude pics of him, which led to finding a video of him jerking it while saying another woman’s name, which led to finding messages to random women trying to meet up, and then his Ashley Madison account. Prior to this, I had forgiven him for stealing $4,000 I put on our “joint” savings (which he never contributed to) and hiding multiple prescription med addictions over the years. He also lied about wanting to be an equal partner … he always had some excuse as to why he couldn’t help more, but promised to change if X happened. The goalpost was always moving and he’d only help more for a week or two before going back to his old ways of sitting on the couch while I cooked, grocery shopped, did dishes/laundry.
When we separated, he finally admitted he believed in traditional gender roles and I should be grateful he helped more than his dad did. I’m so freaking happy being divorced! Life is so much easier not having to worry about what stupid/selfish decision he’s going to make next. Pay attention to those red flags, people! Don’t keep ignoring them because individually they don’t seem breakup-worthy–they will lead to more, and probably bigger, red flags.
20. He Admitted That He’s…
My friend’s sister got engaged eight months into a relationship and got married four months later. Everything went well for the first five months, but then her husband started acting differently. He wasn’t chatty, his good morning/goodnight kisses became dull, etc. She would ask if everything was okay and he would say “I’m fine” every time. She didn’t want to push him, so she waited for him to talk about what’s bothering him. One evening after eating dinner, the husband said he wanted to talk about their relationship.
Before he could talk about it, he started crying. He cried for a few minutes and then told her he’s gay. She filed for divorce and after the divorce was settled, she wasn’t really mad at him anymore, so she went to see him and forgave him. They became good friends and she even helped him come out to his close friends and then to his family. Five years later, she is now engaged to another man and expecting their first child. Her ex-husband is now very happily married to a man for almost a year now.
19. This Is Why You Should Never Rush Things
Not me but my dad. He got remarried after being divorced for about five years. I would have been all for it, but he met this woman in another state on a business trip, and would travel up to see her every weekend after they hit if off. They knew each other for six months before getting engaged. The engagement was only for three months. My brother and I tried telling him about all the red flags, telling him to take his time. My dad is very well-off financially, and we kept trying to warn him things were moving too quickly, that she was only in it for the money. She moved her whole family from their home town to the city my dad lived in, including their elderly grandmother who needed constant medical supervision. Before they were even married, the pantry was full of Whole Foods brand food instead of the local grocery store, as was tradition. All new furniture, and had the house repainted, all at his bride-to-be’s request.
The marriage lasted all of two weeks. Apparently my dad’s new bride had the gall to ask my dad to leave everything to her in the will, and write me and my brother out. Only then did he realize she was in it for the money. The next day he had the marriage annulled. Someday I would like to know what it’s like to fall so completely for someone that I don’t recognize they are taking advantage of me. Must feel good for that instant before it all comes crashing down.
18. Smoking In Secret
Not me, but a cousin. Me and my family were at her wedding reception sitting outside on a deck. My cousin comes out to sit with us for a bit and pulls out a pack of cigarettes. Her first words were, “Please don’t tell him I smoke.”
They moved to California a few weeks later and divorced within a week of being there. I should mention they were engaged before she got out of high school.
17. A Cat Saves The Day
I saw a crumpled up piece of paper on the floor. The cat had pulled it out of the trash can and was batting it around on the floor when I saw it. It was a letter addressed to me that she never intended to give me. It was a therapy tool–pouring out all our problems and a few I didn’t know about.
The upside is once we talked about it and realized neither of us wanted to be married anymore, the only feeling was a massive sense of relief all around. It was pretty amicable as far as divorces go. We do have a daughter and every decision we made was with her well-being in mind. It’s now four years after the divorce. We get along so well that we are re-cohabitating as platonic roommates. So our daughter gets both parents in the same house again.
16. Evil Or Just Clueless?
My brother and I grew up on a ranch. His girlfriend comes from the city, but during visits to the ranch, she dives right in, helping our mom around the house and participating in all the stuff we do–horseback riding, ATVs, etc.–and claiming (and appearing) to love it. My brother was so happy his city gal was compatible with the ranch lifestyle he grew up in, even though he was now working in the city and their life would be in the city. He just loved that she was able to connect with him that way and more importantly, with his family. They dated for 18 months, made many visits to the ranch, and all was well. She insists that she wants to have her wedding at my parent’s home, my folks go all out, have both families there, everyone has a great time. The next morning, the shoe drops. We have a send-off breakfast for the couple, they head to the airport for their honeymoon. My mom and bride’s mom are visiting afterward and the bride’s mom mentions she’s glad my mom had no hard feelings that her daughter and my brother will no longer be coming out to the ranch. My mom is like, “What do you mean?” Bride’s mom says, “Oh, I thought our daughter told you that having the wedding here was her gift to you to have your son home one last time with all his family here.” My mom goes white as a sheet. We all are stunned. We are confused as to whether my brother knows this, and more importantly, has agreed to this. My other brother (who has his own history of family drama) texts our big bro saying, “Is it true that this is your last time visiting mom and dad?” And big bro texts back, what are you talking about? Middle bro says, “Ask your new wife.”
Needless to say, the honeymoon never happens. It turns out that his wife had been hiding her belief that the man leaves his family behind and becomes part of the woman’s family. It was fully her intent to never visit my parents again, to spend all holidays at her parent’s home, to have any future children only have relationships with her family, and on and on. My brother literally had no idea these were her beliefs/desires. To this day I don’t know if she was evil or just clueless. They remained married for about a month until the divorce was final, but my bro never saw her again after the day-after-wedding-day.
15. Bad Start, Bad End
This happened to my sister. She didn’t see anything wrong with him moving to another state and her staying at my parents’ house and only seeing her husband when she flew to visit (he was in the army). She didn’t see a problem when girls would post Instagram and Facebook photos of her husband at a party when he told her he was at work. She didn’t see a problem when he made huge purchases (a sports car, a four-wheeler) that they couldn’t afford without telling her. She didn’t see a problem when he told her she should get breast implants. Nope, she never saw a problem. She didn’t realize it was a mistake until he sent her divorce papers. They were married for less than a year.
I for one wasn’t surprised. I tried to tell her a marriage that started with a proposal when both parties were in relationships with DIFFERENT PEOPLE was doomed to fail but she didn’t listen. I wish I were making this up. She’s single now, and that’s for the best.
14. Never Make A Big Decision When You’re Emotional
I had been fooling around with this girl for awhile. I never wanted anything serious, and I KNEW that from the start. Then my mom died, I went into a deep depression and this girl was there for me. Her mom had died of cancer about a year earlier and I guess we really bonded over that. It pushed us much further emotionally than we ever should’ve gone. We ended up doing a courthouse marriage. I knew within the month that I had messed up. But I didn’t want to just give up and get divorced.
Once the emotions of my mom’s death passed, I realized how toxic she really was. She was an incredibly unstable person and ended up just taking me into an even deeper depression. We divorced about a year ago (after being married for about 10 months), and I was immediately much happier. Marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly, but people also shouldn’t force themselves to be in unhealthy relationships. We all make mistakes. Don’t waste your life with someone that doesn’t deserve you.
13. She’s Not Ready To Start A New Life
I got married shortly after tech school. We made plans for her to move from NC to TX to join me, as I’m in the military and can’t move. Three times I brought it up, three times she said she just needed more time to move. Finally the fourth time she said she couldn’t leave her friends and family to move across the country to start our lives together.
A year later, we were divorced. Or well, I divorced her. She obviously didn’t come down to Texas for that, signed a waiver of citation to not get any news about it, so I basically got to divorce myself … which, after hearing how vindictive ex-spouses can be, I chalk that up to a blessing.
12. Silent Treatment Is Never A Good Idea
Mine ended when we were looking to buy our first house and he basically wanted to buy the first place that had four walls and a roof, while I wanted us to take our time and find the right place.
When I put the kibosh on a house that was overpriced and flooded four times in the past he pouted and gave me the silent treatment for a week. Finding out he was chatting with other girls and confessing his feelings for a coworker behind my back was just the icing on the cake.
11. She’s Living A Lie
I was blindsided by how my marriage ended. We lived together for a year about an hour from my hometown. We relocated, upon her request and desire, to my hometown prior to our marriage so that when we had kids, we would be close to family. We had a house we loved, a dog we loved, jobs we both loved working in … or so I thought. We got married in October.
She goes to visit her sister over the next Labor Day weekend and I can’t attend due to work. She comes back the Tuesday after Labor Day and tells me she’s living a lie and someone else’s dream and she needs a divorce. I had no idea. Divorce finalized in January. This September she married some dude that her sister was friends with, and she met on that trip I was unable to attend. Life is wild sometimes.
10. Texting Your Wife Won’t Take You More Than A Minute
Mine ended four months into it. We had some discussions about him being home late without letting me know, so I worried. I’m not the jealous type. One day, he just didn’t come home all night and I was worried sick. I couldn’t sleep all night thinking something bad had happened to him, but I also started gathering all my stuff. There was no excuse in the world that I could accept if he was okay.
He called me at 5 a.m. and said he went to a friend’s place (a “male” friend) and forgot to call me. So I took all my things and left to a friend’s (female) house. That was the beginning of the end.
9. The Momma’s Boy
My new marriage ended when I saw him wrestle on the floor with his mom, while she was in her panties. I was 17, pregnant and I didn’t realize he was a momma’s boy. He had just gotten fired from his job; he was sitting in the living room and she was in her bedroom and came out and told him he needed to put in an application at this convenience store. He said he wasn’t going to and she started to tickle him. All of a sudden the chair he was sitting on fell over and they were wrestling on the floor. I stood there for a few minutes watching them and then went to my room and cried for a while at how dumb and stupid I was for getting pregnant.
We were only married a year and she was just very enmeshed in her kids’ lives because she has nothing else going for her. He turned out to be a great dad, lousy provider and has never held a job down for more than two months. My son is nothing like him.
8. A Bad Chapter Finally Ended
I think I knew for a while, but I finally admitted it after I had left. He was abusive and it happened so slowly that I didn’t see it. It’s almost like being lulled to sleep. It started emotionally before I married him. Then by about six months in, the physical abuse had started.
Long story short, a close friend saw some bruising. She was concerned and went to my parents. My dad confronted my ex and basically forced me to leave with them. At the time, I was so brainwashed I didn’t get it. It’s scary to look back on how out of it I truly was during that period of time. It almost feels like I was an observer of my own life. Seven years and a lot of therapy later, I am in a much healthier place and in a happy, healthy relationship.
7. Not As Sweet As Ice Cream
It’s not a super funny story. It was pretty dumb; things were already starting to go downhill. We had an unpleasant honeymoon. The whole time I had been asking to go to this local ice cream place but he wouldn’t take me. I couldn’t go by myself because he would barely let me out of his sight. So the last day of the honeymoon I got a Nestle Drumstick.
I started eating as we were leaving, but I was still fussing about missing this ice cream place. Then he rolled down my passenger window and threw my cone out. I laughed because it was so ridiculous. But then I was like, what have I gotten myself into? I know I was annoying but can’t a girl get some ice cream? He didn’t stop for a new cone.
6. I Can Smell Gold Digger Here…
I got married in my late 30s to a girl I had been dating for a year. Shortly after she asked to have her name on all of my assets (a few rental houses, current house, some financial instruments, the cars). Not a problem as we were married I thought, but one Wednesday she insisted it be done by that Friday. I didn’t have time to do that because work and a deadline; I could start it the next week I said. She pitched a fit and said if I loved her I would do it by Friday. I found this strange and decided not to start it and see what happened. She moved out of our bedroom into a guest room. She got cold around the house, told me she would move back in to our bedroom when I finished getting everything done. At this point, I went to my family lawyer to seek advice. She advised me not to put anything in her name, and gave me the name of a marriage counselor. She didn’t want to go to counseling and continued to live in the guest room, so I took my lawyer’s advice and did nothing about the assets. So after one year of marriage, on our anniversary she told me I didn’t have her in my heart, and I thought to myself, “This is it.” About a week after that I told her if this is the way it’s going to be, I’m not going to be married like this. She then told me, “OK, so what are you going to give me?” Yes, she said that. I consulted my lawyer on what a judge would come up with regarding community property for the past year. I took that number and added about 20 grand and proposed that to her so we can make it easy. I was going to spend more than that in lawyer’s fees if it got ugly. It got ugly.
A week later I got served with papers, with all said in the complaint, when added up, she was going after $750k for one year of marriage. One year of divorce proceedings and two years of property settlement proceedings on what should have been a two-hour problem. The judgment came, 215 points in the judgment; I owed her what would have been the community property (about 20 grand), but awarded me attorney’s fees. So in net, she owed me about 30 grand and left her to go buy her own car. Turns out this judge had worked her butt off through school to become a lawyer and the same to become a judge by 40 years old. I was told by another attorney that normally this judge never gives attorney’s fees, but was so alarmed at the gold dig my wife attempted, that she felt it was justified in this case. Even though I came out OK financially, it was an emotional train wreck to have this happen and go through all that. It’s been 15 years since it happened. I was not dateable for about two years, but now very happy with where I am and who I’m with.
5. Never Blame Your Failure On Other People
This happened to a friend of mine after marrying someone she had been with for eight years or so. Four months into being married he had kind of a psychotic break, decided he was going to quit his government job and make a living off his mediocre paintings. He also said that they had to move from a city she loved to a small town she hated, and that she should have a baby right now even though they agreed on no kids until after she finished her education.
She stuck through a solid six months of trying medications, therapy, the whole thing, but he decided she was everything that was wrong in his life and it was her fault that he wasn’t successful with his art so he moved out, jumped on her car and caved in the roof of it, and told her never to call him again or he would have her charged with harassment. Last I spoke with her she was loving being single, had moved to a bigger city she loved even more, got two more cats (for a total of three) and was halfway through law school.
4. At Least She Didn’t Lie About That
The final straw for me was during an argument one night over something insignificant. My wife looked at me and said: “Our relationship works because I lie to you.” I was livid. I stood there my jaw wide open, and after I regained my composure I asked her what she had said. She repeated it and at that moment, I knew there was no hope for it. Our relationship was dead …
Now she is trying to come back and telling me she loves me and how things will be better if I just give her a chance. I told her it’s never going to happen. I will not change my mind and will never take her back.
3. Not Cold Feet
I knew before we even got married. I spoke about how I thought it didn’t feel right with my family a couple of months before the big day but was told it was just cold feet and we’d be fine after the wedding.
Almost a year later, I was still miserable so I left. It was an absolute nightmare but was SO worth it to get out of there alive.
2. A Very One-Sided Relationship
I was in a seriously neglectful and abusive (verbal, psychological, but not physical) marriage for the better part of 10 years. I tried everything that I could to try and fix it and even though I was the one with the complaints, I still went into marriage counseling for two years. I said I would do anything I could to try and change to make this better or to try and fix it. She would go into marriage counseling every single week and say the same thing: “I want him to accept me as I am.” In other words, she didn’t want to change in any way. She didn’t want to compromise in any way. She wanted me to accept her being the neglectful and abusive person that she had become. I should mention here that she is a severe narcissist. I had never even considered divorce or separation. It never even crossed my mind. For me, we were married for life and we just needed to figure out how to fix it. But one day in marriage counseling, while I was talking about something that she had done that was hurtful, she blurted out, “I think we should just consider separating.” I was completely shocked and floored by this. I never even imagined it and at that moment, I realized that it was always me chasing her.
For 10 years, I’d been chasing her. She was always running away. She never apologized, ever, for anything. She would get away with the most heinous behavior and I would crawl back to her and apologize to keep the relationship going and I realized at that moment that any time things got tough, she would scream separation or divorce or run away and that is no way to live. A good relationship takes two people that genuinely want to be in a relationship and are both willing to put in the work for that relationship and both willing to compromise with each other. This was not the case. This was a one-sided relationship which is always going to be doomed and so I finally mustered up the courage after she said that and made the decision to walk away. Everyone deserves happiness and I just didn’t want to live without the rest of my life like that anymore.
1. The “Nice” Guy
A friend of mine was married to this guy for six months. He seemed like a nice guy. He had a violent history and spent a few years in jail, but she claimed he had changed.
After six months, he threw a knife at her because she didn’t want him to eat a pie she had just baked. Later, she learned that he was also regularly poisoning her dog. The dog survived and is fine, but the marriage, not so much.