If there’s one thing that couples look forward to more than their wedding day, it’s their honeymoon. Or so they say.
But honeymoons aren’t always the perfect romantic getaway they’re made out to be — thanks to bad luck, bad weather, or crazy in-laws. There are endless numbers of stories about newlyweds who had their honeymoon escape ruined by a crazy ex-girlfriend, a freak accident or a mother-in-law who thought it would be fun to tag along.
As you’d expect, many of these unlucky couples take to Reddit to share their cringeworthy stories. For your viewing pleasure, we’ve assembled some of the craziest, funniest, saddest, and most chaotic accounts of honeymoons gone wrong posted to Reddit.
Here are true stories from honeymooners who experienced a little trouble “in paradise.”
45. What Do You Mean Your Family Is Coming?!
My husband’s grandparents own a beach house and offered to let us honeymoon there. I assumed they’d be staying at one of their other 4 homes (they’re insanely wealthy). Nope. They stayed at the beach house with us. And invited the rest of the family. Aunts, uncles, cousins, everyone. Over 20 people in a 3 bedroom beach house. For a week!
When I suggested we just go rent a motel room for the week, my husband freaked out because we might offend someone. Sure enough, when we left to merely go for a walk on the beach, multiple people flipped out because we weren’t spending enough time with the family. Apparently, “I was being selfish by trying to spend so much alone time with my husband during the middle of a family trip.” That was 8 years ago. We’re not divorced, but sometimes I wish we were.
44. From Honeymoon To Hospital Trip
My best friend and his wife went to Jamaica for their honeymoon. After flying in late the first night, they tried to use one of those flavored, warming lubricants. Apparently she was allergic to it, which caused her ladyparts to swell.
So yeah, they had to get dressed and rush around to find an all-night clinic to get her treated, at which the doctor told her that “making love” would not be allowed for the rest of the week.
43. Canceled Flights, Lost Luggage, And Weird Tattoos
The sightseeing was fun, but the travel was an absolute nightmare! We were scheduled to spend 3 days/nights in Paris and in London for our honeymoon. Things got off to a rocky start, when our first flight kept getting delayed because the plane had apparently hit a bird. After being delayed for 2 hours, we were no longer able to make it in time to get to our connecting flight to Paris. So we got rerouted to Dallas. Once we got to Dallas, we were supposed to be connected to Philadelphia and from there we would go to Paris. Well, during our 45-minute flight to Dallas, our connecting flight was canceled. By the time we got there, it was already after 6 pm on a Sunday, so basically everything was already closed. We got to stay in a hotel in Dallas for free. Also, our luggage went ahead to Miami and eventually to Paris – beating us there.
We finally make it to Paris the next day, but we can’t find our luggage! After hours of searching the entire terminal, we finally gave up and went to check-in at our hotel. We ended up having to go to a clothing store to get some clothes and shoes that were comfortable to walk around in. We basically got to take an open bus tour of the city and really only got to stop at the Eiffel Tower. Our trip to London went exceptionally well, though. In all, it was a very memorable trip. We ended up getting small bird tattoos while we were in London.
42. My Mother-in-Law Broke Into Our Room
So it’s the night of our honeymoon. My husband has left to go get a bottle of champagne for us. While he’s out I decide that I’m going to get into a cute little lingerie set that I’d bought especially for the night because, it was my wedding night and I wanted to look smokin’ for my husband. I’m in the bathroom getting done up when I hear the door to the hotel room open. Thinking that it was my husband returning, I decided to waltz out and surprise him in my risqué little number. Except it wasn’t my husband returning. It was my Mother-in-Law! My first reaction was to scream because: 1. What was she doing here? 2. How did she get into my hotel room (because she paid for the room and her name was on the booking, she got a key from the front desk) and 3. I was in lingerie. I race to grab my robe, which is on the bed, and cover myself up.
She laughed and reassured me “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.” Um, okay? But it’s something that I DON’T WANT YOU TO SEE. ALSO, WHY ARE YOU HERE? So I ask her, “What are you doing here?” This is when she decides to tell me that her and my Father-in-Law decided to treat themselves to a holiday and are in the hotel room next door.
41. Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, This Hotel Is Ruined And Our Deposit Is Too
During our wedding, I had a close girlfriend of ours go back to the small cabin we had rented for post-wedding consummation, and spread beautiful flower petals everywhere. “I want a trail of them leading to the bed,” I told her with a wink. She took it upon herself to take this task seriously. Flower petals everywhere. All over the nice cabin floor, the couch, and all over the bed.
So, we go back to the cabin all tipsy and proceed to consummate our new partnership as husband and wife all over the floor, couch and yes, the bed. It was awesome. Until the next morning when we realized that our overzealous and slightly sloppy game of “let’s pretend this is our first time” had caused the petals to stain everything. The white couch and pillows were now splotched with red petal juice, the hardwood floor was stained like a scene from a cliche horror movie with a cabin in the woods, the bed and duvet were both completely ruined. And yes, her (incredibly expensive) wedding dress now looked like it had been washed with my red socks. We spent our first morning as a married couple scrubbing the floor. In case you were wondering, we lost our damage deposit.
40. The Ex-Girlfriend Who Wouldn’t Take No For An Answer
My crazy ex called me on the first night of my honeymoon. Of course, my phone was sitting right in front of my wife when she called. The voicemail message she left was absolutely insane. According to her message, she was only calling to see if I knew anyone who had been to Hawaii and could recommend a few good hotels and restaurants.
The crazy part, I was in Hawaii for my Honeymoon! She must have been stalking my Facebook status (from a fake profile). I’m pretty sure she was hoping I’d tell her exactly where I was, so she could fly to Hawaii and try to ruin my marriage. For context, we broke up seven years ago and I’ve blocked her numbers twice during that period, but she just won’t give up. It definitely killed the mood that evening.
39. The Unluckiest Couple
At the time we got married we couldn’t actually afford a honeymoon. So, two years later we’re both doing a lot better so we schedule our honeymoon. We were both excited to finally seal the deal and make love for the first time (joke).
A week before the trip, her father has a heart attack and ends up not pulling through. She has to use lots of vacation time to deal with that. Honeymoon canceled. We decide to do it the next year. Next year comes. I break my foot two days before we leave. We still haven’t had one.
38. My First (And Last) Time On A Cruise
My husband and I went on a cruise for our honeymoon. We got married in December and only had about $1,000 for a honeymoon, so that seemed like the best choice, even though we knew we weren’t really “cruise people.” The only thing we were really super excited about on the cruise was an excursion to a nature park that I had been to before and it’s by far one of my favorite places on the planet.
I woke up the night before the excursion and felt absolutely awful; coughing, sore throat, runny nose, the chills, the sweats – you name it I had it. By the morning, I had a fever of 104, and couldn’t sit up without coughing so hard I nearly threw up. I spent the whole day in the infirmary while they tried to figure out if I had something quarantine-worthy, and the next two days feeling like someone had sucked the life out of me. My poor husband, who was perfectly healthy, spent the entire trip sitting at the foot of our bed, reading old magazines while I slept for the entire day. Our honeymoon was definitely memorable, but for all the wrong reasons.
37. Beware Of The Jellyfish
While honeymooning in Los Cabos, Mexico, we booked an excursion to a beach that was supposedly great for snorkeling. Within two minutes of wading in the surf, I felt a searing pain on my hand. The tour guide looked into the water and pulled two jellyfish off me with his sleeve, and then hauled me back up to shore. By then, there were huge welts all over my arms and legs.
After sitting on the beach for 20 minutes while they poured vinegar all over my body, the pain got steadily worse. Sensing my fear and panic, they finally called an emergency boat taxi to take us back to land to a waiting ambulance. Once they started working on me at the hospital I was good as new, but my husband, Steven, swears at one point he heard me say, “Just take the freakin’ arm off!”
36. Suspected Credit Card Fraud
We were in Mexico on our honeymoon and went to eat at one of the nicest restaurants in town for our last night. We tried to charge the meal on our credit card, but it was denied because it had been maxed out from wedding expenses. The next card that we gave them was sent into ‘fraud mode’ because we used it in Mexico without us informing the card company first — they thought it was stolen and requested the restaurant take the card from us. We gave him our bank ATM card and that finally worked.
However, after leaving the restaurant we realized that the credit card we were going to use for our hotel was the one still in ‘fraud mode.’ My husband’s father had to fax a copy of another card so that we could check out of the hotel and come home. But, I have to say, I can think of worse things than being stranded a couple more days south of the border.
35. Fully Booked Rooms
We’d spent our honeymoon in Boston and on Martha’s Vineyard, but decided at the last minute not to make the long journey from the Vineyard back to Boulder, Colorado in one day, so we took the ferry back to Boston to stay the night. Little did we know (consumed in the rapture of our honeymoon) that the Boston Red Sox were playing a home game against the New York Yankees in the ALCS.
On the bus back into the city we started making a few calls to get a room and quickly realized that we had no place to stay from the most expensive to the cheapest of hotels, nothing was available. There we were in the bus station, luggage in tow, bride in tears and Yellow Pages in hand. We tried for hours, calling every hotel and begging for a room. Finally, we got a smoking room around 11 p.m. We were determined not to let our Boston strikeout be the last night of our honeymoon, so we booked a suite at a local Marriott as soon as we returned home!
34. The “Macho” Tradition
I had a roommate in the navy, white guy from Pennsylvania. He married a Mexican woman and decides to honeymoon in Rio because he thought they spoke Spanish there. That was his first mistake.
Secondly, he told the bartender at the hotel that he was on his honeymoon, so the guy told him he had to eat a turtle egg to stay hard and have a great night. He was puking sick from the egg the whole time he was in Rio.
33. Heights Are Not Our Thing
My husband I were honeymooning in Banff, Canada, and one day we went hiking and came upon a gondola car. We decided it would be fun to take a ride. All of a sudden we were more than 7,000 feet above sea level and we remembered: We both hate heights! We were stuck in this tiny car on a tiny cable taking us high into the sky. All of a sudden the car stopped!
I immediately began to have a panic attack. I didn’t realize there was a traffic jam on the line and it automatically stops when other cars are in sight. We eventually started to move again. Needless to say, it was not all smiles and pictures! More like terror and tears! The views were spectacular after we got up there, but the ride down was another experience. We were at the bar after that one.
32. An Uninvited Guest Showed Up
We had an after-party in our hotel room and then one of the guests (some male friend of the family, younger college student) didn’t know where his family was staying, or have any money, or know the city, etc.
So he slept on our couch and we slept in our room (it was a suite). Needless to say, no sexy time happened. Screw that. It will be 8 years this August and I am still pissed off about it.
31. A Stranded Ship
We booked a shoulder-season trip to Greece and Turkey for our honeymoon, when many of the upscale ships that toured the islands between Greece and Turkey had already stopped running. Our travel agent convinced us to take a two-star cruise ship anyway and consider it “just a place to sleep” for a few nights. Our departure time came and went, and we hadn’t moved. Eventually, the captain of the ship came on the PA system and spoke at length in Greek — the people who understood started freaking out, and finally, someone filled us in. There was “an issue” between the ship’s owner and the Turkish government, and we wouldn’t be going anywhere! What made matters worse is they wouldn’t let us off the ship, and they wouldn’t return our passports!
We immediately called our families and our travel agent and finally got through to our travel agent’s representative in Turkey. Already more than 24 hours past our scheduled departure time, we packed our bags, stormed the lobby, and loudly demanded back our passports. After a few tense minutes of conferring in hushed Greek, they returned our passports and we ran off the ship to a waiting driver who drove us through the night to the airport in Izmir where we flew up to Istanbul, our next stop. We later found out that not only was our ship’s situation on both the Greek and Turkish news, but that the issue that kept the ship hostage was $1.5 million in unpaid port taxes that the ship’s owner owed the Turkish government!
30. Wedding Ring Got Lost
We spent our honeymoon in the Dominican Republic. One day the resort set up a volleyball net and had a tournament that some guests were playing in, including my husband. I was sitting poolside when all of a sudden everyone stopped playing and started looking around. I thought someone had lost contact until my husband came over looking like he was scared to talk to me, and for good reason — he said his wedding band had flown off somewhere.
Eventually one of the resort employees came back with another guy in full scuba gear. It looked like he was getting ready to go deep-sea diving. The scuba diver got in and looked around for a couple of minutes, and then came up with my husband’s ring. I held onto the ring until my husband finished his game. You’re never supposed to lose your wedding ring, and he managed to do it within the first week of marriage!
29. Food Poisoning
28. Victim Of False Advertising
For our honeymoon, my husband and I booked what was advertised as an “oceanfront beach house.” The photos featured a lovely little house with a large deck and it’s own private beach. We lived several hours away so we couldn’t check it out in person in advance, but based on the photos, we thought it seemed like exactly what we were looking for. The day we arrived, we discovered it was not the same house pictured at all. This house was across the street from the nice beach house and was not “oceanfront” at all. Disappointed that we did not have beach access, we called the owner who told us we could sneak through the neighbor’s yard and use their beach if their cars were not in the driveway. Ummm, no thank you?
To make matters worse, the house was super creepy and entirely decorated with a rabbit motif. Every. Single. Room. It was like being in someone’s grandma’s house. We thought the one redeeming quality would be that it had its own patio with a hot tub. On the first day, I walked out to the hot tub without a bathing suit only to see a crew of construction workers installing a new roof on the house next door! So much for any hot tub action. Every aspect of the location was supremely disappointing and when we complained about false advertising, the owner sought to make amend by offering us a CD of her brother’s greatest saxophone hits.
27. No “Honey” On Our Honeymoon
Didn’t get any “honey” on our honeymoon. We were too tired. 6 days, 5 nights in Disney World, do all, see all, taste all. Walked 45 miles in 5 days, whole park is like 43 square miles. We covered all of Disney on foot. We died every night, slept in separate beds 4 out of 5 nights. Best vacation ever though, we had so much fun. It wasn’t very romantic though, but we lived together for 2 years, engaged for 18 months, and been dating 6 years by then so it wasn’t like it was our first vacation. Just wasn’t the honeymoon you’d imagine. Nothing leisurely or romantic about it.
We took a “second honeymoon” for our one year anniversary to the Cape/Province town area. Another fun 3 days of walking every Main St little shopping area in every town from Boston to there. My wife had to see all these little bumpkin stores. Waste of time, honestly. Weather was nice for September but the small towns were all the same, same souvenirs and crappy restaurants. Provincetown was alright, nothing too exciting. In the end, we walked like 25 miles in 2 days up and down all the shopping streets. Retired to separate beds AGAIN the whole trip. Also after she eats a large meal she’s never in the mood anyway so that put the kibosh on most romantic evenings on both trips.
26. He Chose His Hobby Over Me
I brought pretty undies for the wedding night, and couldn’t wait to show it off for my new husband. I was anticipating so much romance and all the things a newlywed couple would revel in. Well, my husband had brought his idea of the best thing ever, which was his fly tying kit. I had on my hottest items, but he was bent over the fly tying vise and didn’t even look up. He was anticipating the next day’s fishing outing. We were staying in Yellowstone Park at Lake, so there was no TV, phone or cell available, nothing else to distract myself with, and I pretty much just felt sad while he was having the greatest time tying flies. I fell asleep in my untouched pretty undergarments.
The next day we went fishing, and I caught a cutthroat on one of the flies he had tied, and he was so happy, felt that was better than lovemaking, I guess. Later we drove down to Island Park and stayed in a place he promised would be wonderful, but the power went out, the toilet broke and the whole place smelled like pot. He loved it because it was right beside another classic fishery. If you ever drive through there and see an old, defunct and very sad motel (now closed for many years), that’s the place my hero took me to. He didn’t say it was just going to be his fishing trip and I would simply tag along. I’m a great angler myself, and I liked fishing too. I just thought there would be priority on the love/marriage/couple joy thing. Throughout our marriage, he continued like this, and I didn’t figure out how to ask for something else in a way that wouldn’t make him angry and defensive. We split after 12 years, and he passed away a little after that. I still feel frustrated that we didn’t make it better, and that he didn’t see me as someone to be cherished more than his hobby.
25. An Upsetting Revelation
On the day of my honeymoon, my husband revealed that he hated my family; and his parents strongly disliked them too (double whammy!). He had been charming and loving to them the entire time we dated, but he said he wasn’t willing to keep up the act anymore. Now that we were officially married, he wasn’t required “to impress my family anymore.”
To make matters worse, he then told me that his parents didn’t want to “pretend” any longer either. These people were some good actors, because my parents actually considered his parents some of their closest friends. Imagine hearing that as you’re sitting on a beach in Hawaii, after 10 months of stressful wedding planning (a wedding my parents paid for). In case you’re wondering, yes, we are divorced now. Not for that reason, but about a thousand more.
24. The Video Looks Familiar
Not me, but my dad. So my dad and his first wife had a nice honeymoon at some fancy resort. Apparently, five years later, on their anniversary, they went back to rekindle the romance and booked the same room. They requested some raunchy VHS tapes to get them into the mood. As they popped one in, they couldn’t help but feel that the room was a bit…familiar, shall we say? Unbelievably, it was the very room they were in, albeit decorated differently.
It didn’t take long for them to realize that the people banging away on the bed were actually them and the whole video was filmed by a hidden camera. This is all true. There was a lawsuit, people were fired. Unfortunately for me and my trust fund, there wasn’t a major payout as it was the ’70s and people weren’t so litigious.
23. Allergies Attack
My honeymoon on the California coast last year was completely wonderful except for one small, horrific detail. I had done a load of laundry at my new apartment right before we left and I used my husband’s laundry detergent. Unbeknownst to me at the time, it turns out that I am allergic to Tide. For the first two days of our trip I somehow managed to wear only clothes that I had washed previously with my normal detergent, so I didn’t have any problems, but on the afternoon of the third day, I started itching like crazy all over everywhere.
Needless to say, this was highly inconvenient for our newly-wed. Every time he touched my bare skin, it felt like a thousand tiny, flaming needles were stabbing me. I bought some anti-itch skin cream and slathered myself with it several times a day, but it only managed to dull the sensation a little. We ended up hand-washing my clothes in the hotel sink and I reused as many of the Tide-free clothes as I could, but the last few days of our trip were less than ideal. I still have very fond memories of my honeymoon, and we had a lot of fun. I can joke about it now, but at the time when it was happening, I definitely thought I was going to “die” of itchiness and embarrassment in front of my new husband, who was sweet and patient throughout the whole ordeal.
22. The Cartwheel We’ll Never Forget
My new husband and I stayed in a cute little cabin on the Olympic Peninsula and cooked for ourselves the whole week while exploring the rain forest and local beaches. Driving along the coast back to the cabin, the sun was setting so we decided to park and check out one of the beaches. We were horsing around and started taking goofy photos when I had the brilliant idea of trying a cartwheel. Because of course, I can still do a cartwheel at 35 years old! Turns out, not so much. I heard two cracks in my right wrist and then I was sitting in my dress in the sand, trying not to pass out. While the tide was coming in. At sunset. How romantic.
Eventually, I got up and we drove the wonderfully winding road an hour to the nearest hospital where I drag half the beach in with me. Sure enough, my wrist is broken in two places. The nurse came in to give me a pain shot – in the backside. Good times. Lesson learned. Sand is not an appropriate surface for gymnastics and I am officially too old to do cartwheels.
21. Scooter Crash
On our honeymoon trip to Bermuda, my new husband and I decided to do what every couple does and rent a scooter on the island. We each put on a helmet and off we went. My husband was not keen on driving so he put me in charge and we enjoyed about 30 minutes of traveling through the gorgeous little towns of Bermuda. While driving along, my husband who was sitting on the back, yelled out “OH MY GOD: here comes a cement truck.” Being from New York, I had a vision of a two ton cement truck ready to crush us. My nervous reaction to his scream was to drive us off the road and down into a ditch.
Once we landed and tumbled down into a ravine I was able to just see what just caused our accident. A small little moped, smaller than our scooter pulling a little cart filled with cement just scooted by. I was sitting in a ditch, with a broken leg because of a man on a bike pulling about a bucket full of cement! Needless to say, it was a “bump in the road” at the beginning of our honeymoon, but we still laugh about it today!
20. Nevermind, Nude Beach
As an event planner, I have seen just about everything. However, a few years ago I saw something that was just too funny to forget. I worked with a couple that were honeymooning in the south of France, and they were planning on finding a nude beach. The bride wanted to look perfect so she planned to get a Brazilian wax but was embarrassed to go to a spa to have it done. Her sister, who waxes her own legs, offered to do the waxing but since she had no experience, nor did she use the correct waxing elements, the future bride’s skin was so severely burned it destroyed her wedding day and honeymoon!
The waxing, which was done 3 days before the wedding, caused irritation and discomfort that lasted for over a week. And then when the hair finally started to grow back she had an incredible itch! Needless to say, her sister was very upset, but the bride blamed herself for her own shyness that prevented her from having it done professionally. Their honeymoon night and the week following were not spent the way they wanted. Obviously! They did not go to a nude beach as she was still in pain and used healing cream, with a bandage, to reduce the irritation – oops!
19. Both Of Us Got Sick
My husband booked a “cabin in the woods” in Tennessee because I have social anxiety and we wanted privacy. We get there and the area is more crowded than our place back home. It had a giant uncovered window about 8 feet up on the wall that the neighbor’s back porch looked directly into. We had to be careful because if you stood 3 feet from the bed you were in plain sight of the neighbors.
Then on the second day of the honeymoon, we both came down with horrible flu and had to come home 3 days early (both still madly sick), taking turns driving the 12-hour trip home. It was another full week before we were well. Not as bad as yours, but still awful for us.
18. Worst Honeymoon Ever!
My wedding was great, but the honeymoon was a DISASTER. We went on a 7-day cruise of the Mexican Riviera. The day we left on the cruise, a HUGE hurricane hit. Most of the cruise ships didn’t stop at all the stops but our cruise captain decided to just re-route. The hurricane ended up canceling the one excursion I was looking forward to the most, swimming with Sea Lions. I was pretty heartbroken, but that was the least of the problems. At our stop in Mazatlan, we went horseback riding on the beach, then ate at a little place that came HIGHLY recommended by tons of people online. Well wouldn’t you know it, we got parasites. So I woke up the next morning in horrible pain (I’ve never ridden horses and didn’t realize it was so rough on the back!) and so sick. Horrible fever, the worst diarrhea of my life, constantly felt like I was going to throw up. This lasted the remainder of the cruise and for a week and a half after. I was so sick I couldn’t eat besides a little white rice so I missed out of the lobster dinner.
Since we were cruising THROUGH a hurricane, the ship was rocking so badly they had to leave barf bags out all over the ship. As if having parasites wasn’t bad enough, pile on the worst motion sickness of your life on top of that. Try having a “romantic” time while not being able to be away from the bathroom for more than 15 minutes at a time. It was horrible.
17. My Husband Accidentally Deleted All Our Photos
On the last day of my honeymoon my husband and I stopped at a beach to relax for awhile. I don’t normally let him near my electronics because he has a major tendency to be kind of clumsy but he wanted to take a few pictures so I let him use my camera with like 400 pictures from the trip. He took a photo he didn’t like and went to delete it but accidentally hit “delete all.” Then clicked “yes” when it asked him to confirm. I tried SO hard to keep my cool because I could tell he felt so terrible, but I ended up crying and it was a huge mess.
Luckily his brother is tech-savvy and he was SOMEHOW able to recover them. Well, some of them. We probably lost about 150 pictures. But at least I have the majority of them now.
16. Booked A Wrong Flight
My husband and I get to the airport so excited to go on our once in a lifetime honeymoon. Flights are paid, the room is paid, and we are ready to relax and enjoy ourselves after all the stress we just went through in planning a wedding. Only to find out when we were on the plane that our flight was going to San Jose, Costa Rica and not San Jose, California.
At first, we freaked out! But then we realized it’s not that bad of a mix up. Turns out Costa Rica is pretty beautiful. The only downside was that we had to rebook a couple of hotels which ended up costing more money than we intended to spend. Future advice to all newlyweds, make sure you check your itinerary before you leave for your honeymoon!
15. My Parents Lost Our Lovely Dogs
We left our dogs with my parents as we live in the same town, and have left them there numerous times in the past. We always double-check our instructions with them, always leashed and keep a close eye on the adventurous two. On the fifth day of our honeymoon, 7 a.m. our time, we received a call informing us that they had been let out the previous night, only to not have shown up the next morning. As we tried to process the information details were overlooked, and the realization of two more days left on the island worrying about our babies set in. Needless to say, I was confused and speechless, but my faith in my family made me believe it had to be our dogs pushing out the door and making a great escape.
Later that day, my brother informed us that my mother had simply let them go, just released them into the wild — precisely against the incredibly specific instructions that had been left with them. We found out that this release and return method had been used a few times previous to this, further hurting my trust and faith in those I love most.
14. Scary Insects All Over Our Bed
Me and my wife are expecting a happy memorable honeymoon, of course, who wouldn’t? But we got something quite different. When we arrived at the place I could not wait to lay down and relax. I took a nap the second my head hit the pillow. However, I woke up with bites on my ankles and wrists. The worst thing I could have imagined…bed bugs.
We just found out that our honeymoon suite came loaded with fleas/bed bugs in the carpet and biting, bloodsucking sand flies swarming around the private balcony. There’s nothing like painful bug bites to get you in the mood, right? That was bad enough.
13. Our Honeymoon Plan Got Postponed
My husband is Indian and I am a US citizen and we live in India. I have a tourist visa and therefore have to leave the country every six months and can’t return to India for 60 days. So, we timed our honeymoon to Nepal to coincide with my need to leave the country. We planned for me to apply for a different visa in Nepal so that I could return within two weeks.
Unfortunately, we did not have the proper stamps and signatures on our marriage certificate so during our honeymoon my husband had to go back to India and leave me in Nepal for 10 days to take care of paperwork stuff. When he finally returned with all the necessary documents they would not even give me the visa I was trying to get.
12. Poor Cat
So my brother got married last week, and he went off on his honeymoon. He’s been having a wonderful week, and he left me in charge of taking care of his two cats while he and his wife were out of the country. They get back on Tuesday morning at about 2 a.m. Tonight I was just chilling in his house as I usually do when I got a knock at the door.
It was the neighbor from over the road, one who is very friendly with my brother and sister in law. She told me that they had found an injured black and white cat just outside the house, and wanted to ask me to verify if it was one of his. It had almost certainly been hit by a car. I don’t know how I’m going to tell my brother. They have had the best two weeks of their lives, getting married in a beautiful ceremony, and going on a wonderful honeymoon to a fantastic part of the world, and when they get back I’m going to have to tell them something that will bring their high crashing down. I decided to take the cat to the vet and take care of the vet bills. When they came home the cat was already healing. Although he was thankful for me taking the cat to the vet it was safe to say I was not cat-sitting every again.
11. We Just Took The Wrong Luggage
While waiting for our flight to celebrate our honeymoon, we waited in a baggage check line for an hour, and we notice that the bag we planned on checking was not our own. We had grabbed an identical bag from the rack on the parking lot shuttle. After talking to a bunch of staff that had no idea what to do, we got the parking lot people to pick up the wrong bag we had while we waited for them to find ours. They called us to tell us they had our bag and were bringing it to the check counter three minutes before our flight was boarding. After coordinating with a baggage supervisor and the manager of the parking lot, we got our bag to the baggage supervisor.
So here we are in Jamaica without toothbrushes, deodorant, sandals, etc. We have our clothes thankfully, and we can buy most of the things we need while our bag sits forgotten in some supervisor’s office. Our last call confirmed that our records have not changed, and as far as anyone knows, the bag is still in the supervisor’s office.
10. Take Off Your Ring And Do A Better Job!
We had a beautiful honeymoon in New York City and got to see all the amazing spots I’d only seen in movies. We spent five days there during the Spring of 2012. We go to get on the plane home and I realize that my wedding and engagement rings are gone. So I’m kicking myself because of the obvious reasons. My husband was trying to be cool and tell me it was okay. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember where I might have taken them off or why.
A day later I’m still kind of a mess and the hotel calls us back to say they found both rings just sitting on the nightstand. That’s when I remembered taking them off…to give a more comfortable handjob. My husband now accuses me of giving a handjob whenever I have to take my rings off for any reason.
9. Not A Happy Feet
It was my wife’s dream to do a long-distance hike for her honeymoon and despite the fact that I don’t hike I insisted that we give it a shot. Now, I was in pretty good shape but “pretty good” quickly turned out not to cut it.
After day three, my legs and feet were killing me and I finally had to ask her to call it off because I was miserable and I was starting to make her miserable. She was actually cool with it and laughed it off and we walked into the closest town and got a hotel room where I promptly took the world’s greatest shower and went to sleep for 12 hours.
8. The Nasty Prints And The “Kind” Stranger
We had a honeymoon surprise when we checked into our hotel room in Cancun. When my husband, Ryan, and I got settled in the room and hopped in the fluffy white bed, our make-out session was interrupted by an unwelcome sight: evidence of someone else’s romantic time in the form of a butt print on the glass partition dividing the bedroom from the bathroom. I am no forensics expert, but the two round greasy spots and the handprints higher up told the tale.
Also on this trip, Ryan’s slippers got doused with insecticide when the hotel sprayed our room for ants, we got so sunburned we spent one whole day in bed with aloe and 30 Rock DVDs, and some dude sent over Champagne to us at dinner when we told him it was our honeymoon, and then followed up that kind gesture by handing us some “great pills” that would give us the “best romantic time of our lives” on his way out the door. We did not consume these pills from this shady stranger. Ryan tossed them in some hedges after we left the restaurant because our route back to the hotel passed by the police station.
7. Definitely A Bad Move
We made the incredibly stupid move to schedule our flight for our honeymoon early the day after our wedding. We saved a few hundred dollars that way. Of course, we missed our flight.
I ended up in tears in the airport, which wasn’t exactly how I imagined the whole thing would start off. Luckily, we made it the next day, but day one of our honeymoon completely sucked.
6. When Things Get Rough
We tried to make a sexy time on the pile of cash (of course my idea). It didn’t really work. We got in the bath together and things were still rough. I asked her if she had lube. Nope.
Guess who went to the corner store at 2:00 AM for some lube (and from my wife, “Oh get some Pringles too!”)? After that, we had a successful sexy time. She got a UTI in Cancun a few days later while honeymooning. Good thing the meds are cheap and on every corner.
5. No To H2O
My husband and I went to the Dominican Republic for our honeymoon, and it’s one of those places where you’re not supposed to drink the water.
We didn’t find out until later that it meant we shouldn’t brush our teeth with the water, either, so we spent the majority of our honeymoon running to the bathroom. It wasn’t exactly romantic.
4. Swollen Forehead
I got sun poisoning on the first day of our two-week Maui honeymoon. It was on my scalp because my hair was parted. A couple of days later, my entire forehead was so swollen because gravity had brought the swelling and fluid down. It even looked like my eyes were crossed because the bridge of my nose was so swollen.
We ended up having to go to urgent care and missed the best sunset of our entire trip. My husband will never let me forget it!
3. Everything Went Wrong
Nobody talks about it, but honeymoons are stressful. Travel, in general, is a headache, and that doesn’t go away just because you’re on your honeymoon. Everything went wrong. Our flight was canceled. The hotel was under renovation, and we woke up every morning at 7 a.m. to people drilling. The weather was awful and it rained every day.
We went to Miami because we figured staying in the U.S. would be easier, but maybe going somewhere more exotic would have been less stressful.
2. Felt Like Deja Vu
I let my husband pick the spot for our honeymoon and he picked Thailand. I thought I’d be cool with going there again, since I was only there once before for 10 days. But he wanted to do a lot of the touristy things I’d already done before.
The whole trip felt like déjà vu. I wish I made him pick a place that was new to both of us so we could be annoying tourists together.
1. It’s Delicious And Fun Until…
We went to Mexico for our honeymoon. Beautiful beaches, friendly people, having a great time. My husband says “let’s try a hole in the wall.”
So, we do and it’s delicious and fun and then we spent the next day pooping our brains out from food poisoning and the day after rehydrating and recovering. The day after that we went home. Yay for being adventurous!