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My new husband and I were staying in one of the top-rated hotels in the entire world in a location where you should be careful about drinking the water. We had this special romantic dinner involving a private chef. It was dreamy! But in the middle of the night, I woke up with my belly rumbling. I was so sleepy, I didn’t even think twice about letting out a little toot while my husband slept blissfully beside me. Until I realized it was a shart. My first thought was to mourn my fabulous lingerie. The second thought was about how embarrassed I was going to be if it left a stain on the sheets in this fancy hotel. It didn’t, but the pretty panties were a loss. I took a bath in my bathtub and went back to bed.

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In the morning, I put the little sign on the bed asking the cleaning staff to change the sheets. I later figured out that the culprit was probably the lobster broth in one of the courses the chef made.