Have you ever dated a girl who was just a little off her rocker?
Don’t get us wrong, a liiittle crazy can be entertaining and fun. However, there is a difference between harmless craziness and full-blown craziness.
In the following stories, you’ll read about girls who were leading double lives, girls who flush their ex boyfriend’s fish down toilets…alive, girls who believe they are dragons, and girls who go to extreme–ad very awkward–lengths to get their exes back.
Check these out!
50. She Wanted To Taste The What?
In college, I dated a girl for a little while and things seemed pretty normal until I got pretty sick one week. I didn’t even leave the couch or bed in my dorm. One of those “have a bucket within reach at all times” sicknesses. I talked to my girlfriend on the phone and told her how sick I was and about my bucket. After being sick a day, my girlfriend came over, way naughtier than I had seen her in the previous few months we’ve dated. I really wasn’t in the mood, but she started to get undressed, so I wasn’t going to say no. She demands I be on top, which is pretty normal, but she’s never demanded it. I didn’t think much of it. At this point, my fever is raging, sweat is flying everywhere, and I hear Satan churning in my stomach. I look around for my bucket and just can’t find it.
She looked up at me with wide eyes and a crazy look on her face and yelled, “Puke in my mouth! I want to taste your chunks!” I actually started to laugh a little, but before I could ask her, I ralphed on her– not right into her mouth, but on her chest. She was picking it up and putting it into her mouth, which made me even more sick. She asked me why I stopped and tried being wild while still covered in my vomit. I told her that I really didn’t feel well; she called me weak and started to diddle herself, sitting in a pile of my own vomit. She got up, took the fastest shower ever, and left. I never called her back.
49. She Drank Her “Fuel” First Before Driving And Babysitting
I had a car break down on me and couldn’t pick up my kids. With her being home all day, I asked if she was able to pick them up as a favor. I told her it wasn’t a problem if she couldn’t, but I just really could use the help. She picks them up no problem. Anyway, I get home and she is napping. My kids are watching TV, but one of them is under two so they probably shouldn’t be unsupervised.
I didn’t think much of it because she was younger and maybe didn’t think before napping, and it’s only been an hour or so. I went to fix a drink after cooking up some dinner for everyone. A half-liter of a hard drink (rum) is empty from the cupboard. In the two hours I had left her alone to run errands, she had drunk that much and still gone to pick up my kids before passing out in the room. I moved her out that same weekend.
48. Romance Story Time!
We started hooking up, and she got clingy very quick. She talked about moving in and marriage the first week or so. When I told her I wanted to keep it casual, she flipped: calling and texting nonstop, stopping by my house three to four times a day to “check in” and see what is going on. When I realized that she couldn’t handle this type of relationship, I cut things off. Stopped answering my front door and phone. She was relentless. I even brought the police to my house for a wellness check. Anyway, she seemingly got the point and I didn’t hear from her for a while until my mom called.
She had driven to their house to try to get them to convince me that we should be together. During this discussion, she shared all the intimate details of our relationship with them. My parents live 2,300 miles away from me. You read that correctly. She drove across America to drop in on my folks. They were not amused. I forgot to add that we are in our 40s. She had never met my parents, and I guess she just used Google to figure out where they lived. It was very inappropriate to include them. According to my dad, she got graphic describing our romance. Not sure what her end game was, but my folks were nice for about 30 minutes and then told her to hit the road.
47. A Deadly Surprise Beauty Treatment
She’d been talking for a couple of days about how she found my chest hair itchy when she rested her head on it. I suggested if it was that bad, she could just rest in the crook of my arm, because, being honest, I’m a hairy dude and I wasn’t interested in shaving my chest. I’ve been working night shifts for the last few weeks and sleep during the day. I wake up one afternoon with a burning pain in my chest, and I’m struggling to breathe, I think, “This is it, I’m having a heart attack at age 23.” Nope.
It turns out I’m just massively allergic to the hair removal cream, and she’s put it all across my chest whilst I was asleep. My skin all bubbled up like it had been burnt, in the perfect shape of the outline of the Superman chest logo. It took about three months for the hair to grow back properly. Ladies, if you are gonna give your partners “surprise beauty treatments” don’t, but at least do a patch test first.
46. Even After 7 Years
We started dating in the summer before our freshman year. It had been about a year or two of people pressuring us to date. I was best friends with her younger brother, and they were our neighbors. We would spend practically every day together going back to the fifth grade until the day we broke up. It started with jealousy due to the fact that I get along better with girls than guys. Aside from her brother, another guy in my grade, and my cousins, I had no male friends. She moved at the end of our sophomore year to a neighboring city/school, which made her trust in me diminish more because she couldn’t keep an eye on me and my friends. Her friends started to tell me how she would ask for updates all the time, and eventually, they cut ties with her. Jealousy turned into control; the first red flag was a post to my Facebook wall saying “I’m jealous of your family who sees you every day.” She wanted me to check in between classes, before and after work, call during any breaks and school lunch, etc. Once she got her license, she would just show up and sit in the lobby at my job (which was a 45-minute drive from her house). I worked as a dishwasher/cook at a private golf club, so they started to say I was going to be fired since she wasn’t a member.
I broke things off mid junior year. She tried to get a job where I worked shortly after, but her little brother (my best friend turned distant friend) got the job instead. I started getting pictures texted to me of my dog in my yard with a text along the lines of “You weren’t home.” I got notes on my Jeep’s steering wheel. I got a new girlfriend beginning senior year and the crazy ex threatened her multiple times to the point that the new girlfriend’s parents were able to get a restraining order. It’s been seven years, and I still get messages from new phone numbers, Facebook accounts, and YouTube pages. I tried to get a no contact/restraining order, but the police think I’m not in enough danger to require one. So I applied for a concealed carry license the next day. About two years later, I was having a movie night with a girlfriend when a message popped up on our television through DIRECT TV from my crazy ex trying to get in touch with me.
45. The Aliens Are Coming!
She tried to kill me. My ex-fiancée Theresa was crazy. The straw that broke the camel’s back, so to speak, was her telling me that she regularly talked to her dog. And of course, you know he talked back to her. She and the dog were convinced that aliens were sending signals (messages maybe?) to all the people of the planet to mess with her life. I pretty much broke up with her immediately with her when she said that. Even though I really loved her, I was young and knew that I was in no way capable of handling someone with such strong mental issues.
The day after we broke up, she took three out of four lug nuts off of one of my tires, but left the last one on nice and tight. She was hoping as I was driving that the pressure would snap the last one and throw my tire off, hopefully on the highway. I was too young and stupid to understand how the wobble I was feeling was BAD news, and that I should have pulled over immediately. I got lucky the wheel didn’t snap off on the highway. My dad called me at work to say, “You better check your car because there are three lug nuts sitting on the ground where your car was this morning.” I called the cops, but they didn’t seem to care, since nothing had really happened in their eyes. They didn’t even seem interested in having me fill out a restraining order. They just assumed it was just a couple of teenagers in a love spat. I had one other run in with her later, but it’s been over 25 years since I’ve had to deal with that level of crazy.
44. The Pack Leader
My friend had the most insane girlfriend. We were all watching a football game. One friend shows up that hasn’t met her yet. He introduces himself. She punched him in the face as hard as she could. We were all shocked. She said, “I’ve heard a lot about you and I just felt like punching your face.” She keeps drinking and falls asleep on the couch.
She woke up in the 3rd quarter, turned to my buddy and said, “Take me home, RIGHT NOW!” He said, “The game’s on, I have company; I’ll drive you home after the game.” This causes her to throw a tantrum and he apologized to all of us and told us to stay and enjoy the game but he was taking her home (an hour round trip). Later on, she messaged ME on Facebook and asked if I would apologize to everyone for her and ask them to give her another chance. She messaged me because “Since you’re the leader I thought they would listen to you.” They didn’t last long.
43. A Spooky Phone Reveal
I was in a “friends with benefits” situation with a co-worker. We would hook up in our cars after work, hook up in the bathroom when there was a “mess” to clean up, I’d go to her house and sleep with her while her two daughters were out (She’s in her late 50s, I’m 19). We started to get a hotel, so we could spend hours having sleeping together without having to worry about her daughters walking in on us. She wanted me to film her with her cell phone, so I did. I accidentally recorded only my left arm tattoo, so I told her to keep going, as I’m going to delete the video and do it again.
I delete the video and go to recent deleted folder and find pictures of me and my family on a family vacation trip when I was a child. I was very creeped out. I then came across screenshots of my aunt’s Facebook page where she got the photos from. I was being cyberstalked by this woman, and she had a whole folder of photos of me when I was a kid on her phone. I told her I wanted to end the “friends with benefits.” She started to tell me how I told her I wanted to be with her forever, and that I was going to move into her house and tell her daughters that we have been seeing each other for months now, so we can look into being in a relationship. Her daughters are a couple of years older than me and I’m not ready to be a stepdad.
42. She Has Issues, Big Issues
There was this one girl. She was HOT. But she was self-centered, vapid, and kinda boring. She had no ambition in life, and was always asking for or demanding stuff. After two months of hooking up, I decided to break it off. I said we could still be friends, but I wanted more in a relationship than just hooking up. She calmly looked at me and said, “Okay, if that is the way you want it,” and I left her house. I was a little concerned with how she would handle it. I had seen flashes of crazy, but it all worked out amazingly in the end.
The next day, she called and said she wanted a real relationship with me. I was a little peeved, so I politely said, “No, I think this is for the best,” to which she informed me that I had no choice in the matter. We were dating. End of story. I explained that this is not how it works, but she laughed at me and said, “Too late,” and hung up. I went to work, and this crazy girl called me on my work phone to ask about our relationship. Not once, not twice, but nonstop. I mean I would hang up, and as the phone hit the cradle, it would be ringing again. I yelled, I pleaded, I got angry, I threatened police, but nothing worked. We blocked her number. That is when the calls from other numbers started to roll in. After two days of this, I asked to see her in person to settle all of this. She agreed. We met. I went off, yelled, called her a child. She just sat there with a stupid smile on her face. There were no more calls that day.
That is when she started coming in to work to see me. The first time, she said, “I need to apologize for my behavior; can we talk for five minutes?” and I was like, “Oh thank god, it is over!” Nope, the second we were in my office (I left the door wide open of course), she was on her knees trying to undo my pants. This was her “apology.” I physically had to throw her out. She came back. Every day. Sometimes three times a day. We had to get a trespass warrant against her. Three days after that I got a call from her sister. She said that my ex was out walking, trying to get over us, and she was attacked. At this point, I didn’t believe anything. Of course, I told her to call the police. She said, “All she wants is to see you. She feels safe with you and needs to talk.” I refused. The next day, I was told by her sister that this girl tried to end her life. Now, no matter how much I was over this girl, I never wanted to see her pushed to that point. Her sister asked if I would come by to say hi. She was bedridden and all the family was there. Ugh. I was an idiot. I believed her. When I got there, she answered the door in thigh highs, a corset, high heel boots and nothing else. I turned and almost RAN back to my car. So she was attacked a few days ago, tried to off herself, and this is how the door was answered? She told friends, family, work, everyone, that would listen that I attacked her. She never told the police, because she knew it would turn on her quickly with the million calls and texts.
After threatening lawsuits, she moved out of the country with her family. But the calls still continued. At least once a month for seven years! Due to the distance and infrequency of the calls, emails, and texts, I was able to ignore her, until one day when I got to work. She was there, and she was UPSET. She started screaming at me in the parking lot about how I “stole her life from her,” and “She waited to have children with me, and now it was getting too late. I OWED her a child!” She demanded that we go right now and try to conceive one. I finally lost my temper. I grabbed her by the shirt, pushed her back into the car and screamed at her to never talk to me again, ever! Our faces were close. I was red-faced and furious, and then I saw in her eyes a look like hunger. She tried to lean in and kiss me. And let me tell you, boys and girls. At that point, I was afraid of her. She had this look in her eyes. She was not all there. There is nothing she would not do to get what she wanted. Nothing. I went inside, called the police, and then I found her mother’s number and called her. It seems they moved back to the States. We had a long chat, her and I. I explained everything. She said in a soft voice, “I know. She has issues.”
41. I Love Happy Endings
My ex-best friend was such a freaking nag about everything. Her boyfriends wouldn’t last more than a couple of months with her. By seeing how she was with them, I just felt sorry for the guy. She would try to keep them around by claiming she was pregnant when she actually wasn’t. One time she actually DID get pregnant in an attempt to land the guy, but it didn’t turn out as she wanted it because he told her that he would be there for the kid, but he wasn’t going to be in a relationship with her. So she had a “miscarriage.” Then she met a guy, they dated for six months (her longest relationship ever; she was 27 by the way) and she got pregnant. He wanted to do the right thing, so he married her.
I went over to their house for dinner once while she was pregnant, and I just couldn’t see how he was able to put up with her. She was nitpicking everything he did right in front of me while he was making dinner. And by that, I mean she was literally standing behind him while he was cooking and saying things like “You’re adding THAT to the potatoes? That looks disgusting” and so on. I literally felt sorry for the guy. Well, about two months after she had the baby, he filed for divorce and got sole custody of the baby because she was freaking crazy and a hoarder.
40. Just A Side Piece For The Summer
This was the summer of 2009. I had been out of the Air Force for a few months. A girl I went to high school with had gotten in touch with me and said she had always had a crush on me. We start dating, and soon she introduces me to her three kids. Generally, I’m not a fan of kids or dating a woman with them, but she was hot. All summer, she gets me to practically spend every waking moment with her. While we were dating, she was always complaining about the kids’ dad and how he wouldn’t send her any money. So I would lend her some here and there for diapers and food. Mind you, he was a Marine in Kansas or something and DID send money weekly. At one point, her ex-husband, the dad of her kids, got my number and would text me vulgar things about what he used to do to her and how I’m the sloppy seconds and would also threaten to hurt me if he ever saw me. He also said something about me being the side piece and her real boyfriend (a dude in the army) was in Afghanistan. I confronted the woman about it, and she said that they broke up, but he didn’t want to believe it. I took her word for it.
Cut to a couple of months later and I think things are good. She told me that she got pregnant and it was mine. I believe her because I’m stupid I guess. I tell my family and get excited. Then she has some weird reaction to some medicine she is on (or so she tells me) so we go to the ER. While there, the doctors and nurses tell me that she needs her stomach pumped. This worries me because of the baby. They then tell me that she was never pregnant. Needless to say, that was it for me and I left. Turns out that her and Army Man in Afghanistan were engaged, and they BOTH knew I was just a side piece for the summer. And her whole family knew but swore not to tell me. About three or so years later, she called me out of the blue because she missed me or something. After talking for a bit, I finally got her to admit that she played me the whole time, and that she used the money I sent her on drugs. She was never pregnant and she was engaged. That messed me up for a long time, and as I sit here typing it, I’m starting to shake and get short of breath.
39. What A Lucky Guy
It was her birthday, but I had a show that night. I also was pushing a 102-degree fever. She came to the show, and I had done what I thought was above and beyond for this girl who I still barely knew. I bought flowers, a small cake, and we had the bar sing happy birthday to her. She then proceeded to get exceedingly wasted and spent the evening talking badly about me to my own friends, not even ten feet from me as if I couldn’t hear her. At the end of the show, I told her I was too sick to go out afterwards for her birthday, but I would take her out over the weekend. She exploded into a tirade of screaming and crying. I just walked away to my car and drove home.
She texted me later that night to say she didn’t feel like I was invested in this relationship, and if that was the case, we should just break up. I wholeheartedly agreed, wished her well, and blocked her on every platform imaginable. And that’s how I broke up with a girl, on her birthday, by text message. She used to be a prison guard but definitely didn’t look like it because she was very petite. She used to sleep with a weapon in her night stand. I definitely think back and I’m pretty sure I avoided being killed.
38. A Nightmare Situation
My buddy got a paternity test request in the mail. He found out he was the father of a 4-year-old girl from some random lady. The baby’s mom is terrible; she’s taken him to court many many times to up child support, and his daughter has turned out completely bonkers.
He has little contact with his child but still pays $1,300 a month in child support plus medical, insurance, etc. The mom has lost all control over the daughter and she just alerted my buddy that she’s started calling the cops on the daughter because she’s violent. Now the child is moving 10 hours away to live with her grandmother several states away.
37. Leaving Trails Of Hair Strands
I just broke up with her in person and was leaving to go on an out-of-state training for my job. I was living with roommates at the time and they didn’t know that I broke up with her before I left. Anyways, I’m gone for about a week and I’m really excited to just come back and sleep in my own bed and decompress from everything. I came home, took a shower, and went to take a nap.
About 30 seconds into my nap, I turned my face over to the other side of the pillow and something went into my mouth. I pull it out and it’s a couple of really long strands of hair…I was so confused. I went downstairs and asked my roommates if they had been in my bed. They denied it, but said that my girlfriend came over a couple of times at night to sleep in my bed because “she missed me.”
36. Flowers For Her From Who?
She started sending huge bouquets to herself at work but having the cards signed with my name. Apparently, she didn’t want her coworkers to know that we had split.
This was before she lied to me about being pregnant and intending to keep it. I got a restraining order and won in court when she contested the order. That breakup was pretty crazy but the most disturbing part was the flowers.
35. So Who’s Your Celebrity Crush?
When we had just started dating, she asked me who my celebrity crush was. We had just watched 500 Days of Summer so Zooey Deschanel was fresh in my mind, so I said her.
For the following year and six months, about every fifth argument we got into involved Zooey Deschanel in some way. She ended up hating her, for no other reason than I thought she was attractive. We broke up, and I started dating someone else and watching New Girl. It’s awesome.
34. Flushing The Fishy Alive
She flushed all of my fish–ALIVE–and videoed herself doing it. She then sent me the video. I had pet fish before we got together. When we moved in together I brought my tank. When we eventually broke up, I was the one who left the apartment because I had a closer living situation I could move into (back with my parents). I was to come by on Saturday to move out all of my things, including my fish.
Thursday night comes and I get an email with a video in it. I open it to see my fish in a kitchen pot in the bathroom. She proceeds to pour them all into the toilet and I flush away. I couldn’t watch. I called her dozens of times to no answer. Saturday comes, and she’s not there as planned, and neither are my fish. It still hurts now.
My brother hooked up with a girl overseas. They kept in touch occasionally online. She told him she was visiting our country, and they should catch up. He agreed. Well, it turns out she wasn’t visiting; she actually moved to that country “for him.” He ended up spending a bit of time with her, maybe a month kinda dating, and then he realized what was going on. Eventually, they broke up in a fairly large fight. She left a note on his door a few days later saying that she was pregnant. She kept at it for months with threats. She started a mommy blog, began posting photos of the “ultrasound,” with updates on how big the baby is. She’s a curvy girl, so she even posted a photo of her “belly.” She started a new Facebook profile, along with five or six other fake profiles. She commented between them all on an almost daily basis, all about her “difficult”pregnancy, things she was struggling with, etc. Meanwhile, my brother started dating someone else, just moving on with life.
The crazy girl continued with the charade. She started posting my brother’s face and details on weird websites like “deadbeat dads” and “cheaters” or some crap. Eventually, she moved back to her home country and “had” the baby with help from her “new man” (one of the fake profiles), but she only posted weirdly cropped photos of the baby, not showing the face– like a hand here, a set of feet there. Eventually, we found the source of the photos that she cropped. It’s a friend of hers on her real FB profile who has a kid. Busted. This whole ordeal lasted around 12 to 15 months before she eventually disappeared.
32. Not Worth Fighting For
Six months into a relationship my girlfriend and I decided to rent an apartment and move in together. After a couple of months of living with each other, she immediately got bored decided she wasn’t happy and wanted to break up with me and move out. After a day of discussing everything, we came up with a plan for her to move out a few days later while I was at work. The break up went really smoothly– no fighting, no pettiness–the most adult ending to a relationship I’d ever been through. Move-out day came. I went to work while she moved her stuff. She sent me a text apologizing for things not working out, and wanting to stay friends, etc. I concurred.
I came home after work. Her things were gone, and she even cleaned the apartment before she left. I had a few drinks that night, got a little drunk, climbed into bed and immediately felt something sharp on my legs. She had taken light bulbs and shattered them under the bed comforter. I got 60 stitches between both legs. I text her from the ER asking why she would do that. She said she was mad I didn’t put up more of a fight for our relationship/her. Keep in mind she was the one that wanted to end things. I used those texts to press charges. She tried to Facebook message me about a year later. I did not respond.
31. Plus The Strange Gifts
I dated a girl 20 years ago who used to complain all the time that she didn’t have any friends and that she was lonely (we’d both just moved to new cities for university). Also being an introvert, I knew how hard it could be to make new friends so I offered to help her out. I kept trying to bring her out with various groups of people I knew to different events, dinners, and get-togethers, but she’d just sit in the corner and pout, never speaking to anyone outside of one-word answers. Then afterwards she’d just complain about everyone and how boring they were. Not surprisingly, we didn’t last long. I broke up with her and it seemed like it went amicably. The really weird crap started after we broke up though. After about a month she wanted to get back together, but I refused. So she started leaving “gifts” for me at my house, giving them to my roommates as I made it a goal to spend as much time on campus as possible to avoid having her come over.
These gifts were things like: packages of uncooked bacon (because we’d cooked bacon together one morning), a dozen tiny cacti in a paper shopping bag (because I’d casually mentioned one time that I thought a cactus I saw in a shop window looked cool), six cans of my shaving cream, four pairs of the brand of boxer briefs I wore, a giant movie poster for the movie we “watched” the first time we did it on her couch (Deep Blue Sea), a cheese grater (no freaking clue on that one)… There were others, but I forget what they were after all these years. These strange gifts kept getting dropped off for weeks, complete with little handwritten notes about how this specific random thing reminded her of me or some insignificant event in our three-month relationship and how we should get back together. The last gift was a beta fish, in a small clear bag. I finally went to her place the following Sunday (while her folks were having a BBQ, didn’t know that beforehand) and told her tostop, that this was extremely weird, and we’d never get back together. She had a fit and started throwing plastic utensils at me as I walked off, while her mother desperately tried, and failed, to stop her from making a scene. I gave the beta fish to my new girlfriend.
30. Still Paying The $200,000 Debt
After three and a half years of abuse and two children, my ex-wife decided she wanted to ruin my life. She had me arrested on false charges of domestic violence which led to a plea bargain due to the fact that we were living on my $10,000/year income. She refused to work the entire relationship. This led to a three-year probation which included “group therapy sessions” for abusers. During these sessions “patients were required to recount the episodes of abuse” and explain where they “made mistakes.” Because I hadn’t actually committed any abuse, I was forced to lie, as lack of participation equals failure to abide by the requirements of the probation deal. This led to the judge threatening me with up to three years in prison. As a result, we fled the country and set up shop in the Middle East. I was forced to join the army and served as a combat soldier for two years.
During the second year of military service, I finally grew some balls and told her I wanted a divorce. The resulting meltdown created a situation in which I was forced to flee my domicile. In the process, I forgot to take my I.D. She spent the next year forging my signature on rent, phone, water, electrical and credit card contracts. To this day, I am still paying off the $200,000 debt she built up in my name. This figure does not include the debt she incurred using my I.D. when she returned to the States. Oh, and she illegally abducted my children when she fled the “Middle East” to return to America. So yeah. I need a drink.
29. She Tried To Blow The House Up
She turned one of the burners on my stove on “high” without it being lit. We had been broken up for a couple of days and she was getting the rest of her belongings out of my house. I was at the gym and texted to see if she had finished up and received a text that she had and then I finished up lifting and headed home. I got to my house and all the lights were off saved for the porch light. Opened the front door and smelled gas. My first thought was that my furnace line had ruptured or something. I left all of the lights off and went down into the basement to see if I could hear/smell anything near the furnace and the gas line but there was no gas smell in the basement. I went back upstairs and checked the stovetop in the kitchen. Sure enough, one of the burners had been turned on “high” and was not lit. I turned it off and proceeded to open all of the downstairs windows (in January) to vent the gas.
My first thought was that it couldn’t have been done intentionally because my thermostat kicking the furnace on, or me turning lights on could have blown me up. The problem was that the knob can’t just turn itself and you need to depress and then turn to light any of the burners. Then I remembered what she told me once (jokingly I thought at the time) which was “If I can’t have you, no one will.” So yeah, this witch tried to blow me, my house, and my cats up.
28. “Keep Your Eyes Off My Boyfriend!!!”
I went out with a group of mutual friends for a night out. Three of us guys were on the dance floor whilst our respective girlfriends were more interested in sitting on bar stools watching. Anyway out of nowhere, my girlfriend hits me in the face for no reason. Like what the heck, she claims I’m dancing with some girl which is not even remotely true. She gets kicked out by the bouncer. I go with her to get her home safe.
So on the way back she hits every girl she sees and screams at them something to the effect of “You’re looking at my boyfriend” and I’m not exaggerating when I say its at least 10 different girls she does this to. Each time she runs off and I have to apologize for her. We get home she’s still mental, tries to call the cops on me for nothing and claims that I hit her. It was freaking traumatic dealing with someone like that.
27. “Get Back With Me Or Else”
She invited herself to my house when my dog was getting put down. On the same day, when she could she attempted to have “make love” with me. I was obviously unhappy and turned her down. I came to school after the weekend (my dog was put down on Saturday) and she had told everyone that I had forced myself on her and forced her to make love with me.
Later on (a month or so later), she called me and told me to get back with her “or else.” I told her I can’t get back with her so she said she will end her own life if I didn’t. I didn’t say anything, and she downed 70 something pills of potassium. I had a friend call the ambulance, she survived, but wasn’t too healthy for a little while. Oh yeah, I was 16-17 when all of this happened.
26. I Felt Bad For The Daughter
She cut off contact with our 3-year-old daughter. She’s a developmentally challenged child who loves her mom but she doesn’t even take the time to call her or stop by to say hi to her. She lives less than 30 minutes away. I’ve never been so pissed at something in my life. The last time she said she would watch her, I intentionally didn’t tell my daughter until we were walking out the door that we were going to see mommy (didn’t want to get her hopes up). About 10 minutes into the drive, she calls and says she won’t be able to watch her. My daughter doesn’t understand most things so I just stopped at an ice cream parlor nearby hoping she would forget about seeing mommy. I could tell she was crushed– she didn’t eat a bite.
When we got back to the house she went straight to her room and went to bed. She’s usually the most bubbly person on the planet but she couldn’t even handle her mom ditching her. I end up being the one getting blamed in her mind. She stole thousands of dollars, ruined my professional and personal life and ruined our family financially and I couldn’t care less about any of it. But if you treat my daughter like crap, there is nothing that is going to dissipate my anger.
25. She’s A Coupon Tipper
I used to take my dates to this divey little Chinese restaurant in Fort Lauderdale that sold liquor illegally. I knew the owners and the food was great. I was with this nutso girl at the time. I went up to pay, and she said she would leave the tip. OK, great. We left and a few weeks later came back.
When I walked in, the owner scowled at me and said, “Haha very funny!” and threw down a bunch of assorted coupons on the counter. I was like what? Then my girlfriend starts laughing hysterically. Apparently, when she volunteered to leave the tip she didn’t have any money, so she just counted out like $5 worth of coupons for like, Tide and Rice-a-Roni, and stuff and left that for them. I had no idea this had happened. I finally made good on the tip, but this was the first in a long string of weirdo behavior.
24. Breaking Into The House
My ex-girlfriend would break into my house every day for about a month while I was at work. Showered, cooked food, watched TV and then left before I got home. I came home early one day and she was sitting on the couch watching TV. She very matter-of-factly said, “Oh I didn’t think you’d be home at this time.” I asked her how she got in (when we were dating I had lent her my keys once). She got one cut for herself without me knowing.
She also told me she had brain cancer. She was calling me constantly crying telling me how she wasn’t sure if she was going to live or not and all these surgeries she was having. Come to hear from her sister six months later none of any of that had happened
23. Blood Is Thicker Than Water
We were supposed to fly down to Florida for a vacation when I got a phone call that my brother got hit by a drunk driver. I canceled the trip to be with my brother. She was pissed, started throwing a temper tantrum just moments after me finding out my brother might actually die. I settled her down and told her I’d take her another time.
A couple of weeks later, he was recovering but stacked with medical bills and needed to do physical therapy. I took the money I had left for the trip and paid for some of his medical bills. My girlfriend lost it when I told her. She threw her coffee mug and started hitting me. All this while yelling: “I work hard every freaking day and this is what I get?” She didn’t have a job and didn’t do anything around the house, so that should give you an idea of what she was like. I told her she had the rest of the day to get her crap and get the heck out. What does she do? Call her brother to come threaten me.
22. Meltdown Mode ON
I dated this girl I met at uni for about a year or so. Things seemed to be going great, a little too great. I went to meet her family at their home and was told point-blank that her mother advocated for her dating as many men at once as she could. Her mom also told her that if she wanted to lose weight, to try drugs. It was really awkward. Fast forward to the coming months and she’s telling me this story about a guy at work cornering her in the elevator and forcing himself on her to make out with her. Yet she didn’t go to the police or authorities. It seemed even more odd that she didn’t want me to go to them either. Then her roommate started telling me she was cheating on me. I was in too deep at that point to believe it. But the icing on the cake was when my own brother came to me and sat me down to tell me that she had approached him while she was visiting and I was at work. At that moment, it all clicked. So I went to confront her. She went into total meltdown mode on me–trying to make me feel guilty about everything, like it was my fault or something that she wanted all the action she could get.
So after we broke up she keeps messaging me telling me that we need to talk. She said that she was trying to kill herself and it was all my fault, that she was in the hospital… She was straight-up nuts. That’s not even including the time she told me she was pregnant all day on April 1st. I ran the whole gamut of emotions that day. The stages of grief are real, let me tell you. Even a year later she still messaged me telling me how I ruined her life, how she had to go through counseling and treatment and how she had lost a ton of weight because of it. Well, I’m glad she took her mom’s advice. Now she’s single and a user. Good riddance to that bag of crazy. I’m glad I didn’t catch a baby with her or worse.
21. It’s A Tie
My ex cheated on me for about six months without me knowing. We were in bed one night and she rolled over and said get out. I was in shock and had no idea what to do so I left. We had joint everything…she canceled my phone, took all the money I saved out of my accounts, kept my dog that I tried incredibly hard to get back but worst of all she told her friends, my friends, her family, and my family all over social media that I choked her and beat her and she left to save her own life.
She even posted pictures of cuts and bruises she got from a car accident online saying they were from me. Her car got broken into at a mall and her stuff was stolen and she told the police it was me. After I proved to the police I was working they quickly looked the other way. After at least a year of trying to clear my name, I met the guy who she cheated on me with. At first, I wanted to tear his face off but after he bought me drinks I found out she did the same exact thing to him.
20. No More Chasing
I got dumped because I wasn’t “the same person I used to be.” I spent the next six months confused with her late-night calls, texts, complaining that she didn’t know what to do now– that she was thinking of just “wandering into the woods” and she “even has a spot picked out.” It was pretty messed up.
She enjoyed being chased, but not actually being in a relationship. When I didn’t really want to “chase” anymore, she went insane. This was four years ago, and I still get messages from time to time. I’ve blocked her on most stuff, but her most recent attempt of contact was on LinkedIn, which I’m honestly kind of flattered over.
19. The False Accusations Are Just Too Much
My daughter’s mom sent me to prison for three years for something I genuinely didn’t do. My kid was about a year old, and I was separated from my kid’s mother at the time. This ex-girlfriend found out that I got another girl pregnant. She called me saying she wanted to talk about getting back together. I looked outside, and she was already on my porch. So knowing she was crazy, I cautiously opened the door and let her in. She proceeded to tell me that she wanted to “be a family” and leave her then-boyfriend. Again, I knew she was nuts, so I cautiously told her I was not interested in that at the time. She flipped out and started breaking my TVs, punching me, and generally just going crazy. I told her to leave, and she said, “I’m calling the cops and you’re going away.” She then started slamming her face into a wall repeatedly. I was young and didn’t want to deal with that, so I left. I got a call from the cops telling me to come back and give them my side of the story, and they said to come in person. About a week later, they showed up at my dad’s house (I was 19) and arrested me for battery.
On the way to jail, they told me I was also being charged with possession of a weapon by a convicted felon. The weapon was in the house (I was renting an addition on the side of someone’s house), but it was not in my room. Apparently, she found it before they got there and placed it on top of my bed. She also said I pointed it at her and told her I would kill her. I went to prison for numerous felonies from that incident, and my ex-girlfriend refused to recant her statement. I was young and into selling drugs at the time, so in a way, I feel like my decisions still sort of led to that outcome. I still have to deal with this woman and have 50/50 custody of my daughter.
18. She’s A Pure Thief
My ex-girlfriend entered my apartment while I was at work and stole all my kitchen appliances and half my table settings. She sent a note to the apartment complex expressing my intentions to move out. I found out when they knocked on my door asking why I was still there. Worst of all, she told everyone that I was abusive (rather than admit our relationship ended due to her cheating). I couldn’t even go to the Starbucks she worked at (whether she was there or not) because her coworkers believed her and would call the police if they saw me.
She also told my pastor at the time that I locked her in the bedroom, using a chair propped against it to prevent her escape and didn’t let her eat for a day (this one was an amusingly bad lie, since the bedroom door opened into the room, making a propped chair impossible). She committed identity theft by using my SSN to phone in and have her credit card debt put in my name (about $4,000). I found out after being denied a loan two years later.
17. Breaking A Bro Code’s Law
When I was in college, I was working two jobs on top of a full load of classes while my then-girlfriend was working one job. Getting our minimum-wage job schedules to line up was one challenge, but even so, I didn’t have the time or money to go out. One night she says, “We never go out. You should quit one of your jobs so we have time to go to a movie or dinner and stuff.”
Before that I’d started to put together that she was daft, but that did it. As I turned my head to look at her my heart started doing the math that this was over, and by the time my eyes met hers, it was done. I waited a couple of days to break up with her, just be sure. (You should always sleep on a big decision.) A week after we broke up, she showed up at my door drunk and said, “I just made love with one of your best friends. Screw you. Goodbye.” So, yes, it was a good decision. My buddy took a decade to forgive himself.
16. So Many Threats
My ex 10 years ago was an abusive alcoholic. I had enough of her false promises and constant crap that I just walked out. In the next few months, she would: 1.) Phone my house, drunk, gloating about the guys she hooked up with. 2.) Show up to my parents’ house, drunk, demanding to talk to me. At various times, she was verbally abusive to my mother who basically told her to “screw off before I call the cops.” 3.) She threatened to lie to the police that I molested her son. She also threatened to tell police that bruises on her body (from being drunk all the time and falling over a lot) was from me. Ironically SHE was the one who beat me.
She also told my parents, five months after I left her, that she was two months pregnant and it had to be mine. Yeah, OK… She threatened to get her son’s alcoholic junkie dad to “do you in” for not answering her calls. She called my boss various times at work, demanding I be fired for being abusive to her at my workplace (supermarket). He laughed at her and told her finally she was banned from the shop for harassing his staff. Probably more, but thinking about it makes me feel like crap.
15. A Big Words Coming From… Her?
She sent me a video of herself in underwear– waved at the camera, took a blade to her wrist, wiped the blood into her fingers and waved goodbye. It was like a scene from a horror movie. Oh, and yes, she’s alive.
She also threatened to kill me, killed my cat, and dabbled in identity theft. A couple of months later, she asked that if we can be friends and that I, like she has tried to do, should not live in the past.
14. Too Early To Assume
We never made it to the girlfriend-boyfriend stage, but I went out with a woman and on like the second date, she started asking me very presumptive questions like: “Do you think your parents will like me?” “Where do you think we’ll live?” “Would you still like me if I gained weight?”
Then, if I paused too long to answer a question, she’d start “crying” crocodile tears until I said something else that immediately perked her up. Afterwards, when I tried to subtly mention that I didn’t think we were right for each other, she’d repeatedly call/text me until I just had to block her. It scared the hell out of me.
13. An Act Of Selfishness
I had a black lab. Her name was Lucy, and she was the laziest dog around. She was 9 when we had to put her down and she was not a dog to me. She was family. A sister. She got infected with this new disease that was being spread by lone star ticks last march. It slowly paralyzed her from her tail to her back legs and so on. The only medicine that helped her was the pain killers. When we brought her to the vet to get put down, we helped her into the room. The vet injected her with the first shot which relaxed her. She cried out, crawled across the room to me and laid her heavy head in my lap which is where she took her last breath after the last shot.
I drove home with my mother and FaceTimed my girlfriend (now ex). I burst out in tears and said: “I just lost my best friend” after explaining to her what had happened at the vet. She replied with the most stone-cold look on her face and said: “I see where I stand.” I stayed with her for almost another year until she broke my nose because she had a bad day and constantly called my mother awful names behind her back to me. Luckily, I’m in a happy relationship with someone who helped me realize that I don’t need to be in an abusive relationship.
12. I’m Better Off Alone
I married an American girl and moved to the States. All fine at first, but over time it became apparent that she didn’t like my family and friends back in the UK, and didn’t want me to be in touch. A friend of mine from the UK came to visit after a few years. Initially, she was happy for him to stay with us, but then when he arrived, she took an instant dislike to him and banned him from the house. I arranged a motel room for him, but then she didn’t want me helping him financially (he didn’t need help, so I don’t even know where that idea came from), so she emptied our joint account of all our money so I couldn’t access it. And when I drove my friend to the station (about an hour’s drive away), she was going to report the car as stolen so I couldn’t use it. She didn’t in the end, thank god; I would likely have been shot, as I didn’t know to stay in the car if pulled over in the States…
I dropped my friend off and apologized profusely. I grabbed a load of train time tables, and signed up for credit cards and a bank account in my name only. I went home and tried to patch things up with her, but at that point, I knew I’d compromised enough, and I didn’t want to stay with her. Three weeks later, the marriage was over. And two weeks after that I was back in the UK, ready to start over.
11. She’s A Roly Poly
She got mad and curled into a ball and would not move or talk to me (for about 45 minutes) until she decided to leave and said goodbye. Alright, boys… So I think what had happened to trigger that was this. We had a standard cuddle chill session where she thought it would be a good idea to tickle me. Bad idea. My family is known for their instinctive reflex against tickling. We hate tickling. And it was very unexpected for her to do that at the time.
One second we were chilling, and the next her fingers in my armpit! Frightened, I flinched my elbow upward which happened to collide with the side of her head. She then decided to turn into a “roly poly” and not move for 45 minutes. During that time period, I talked to her sweetly and then covered her with five blankets in an attempt to get her to laugh. It didn’t work..and she left 45 minutes later.
10. Gotta Out-Run Her
Well, my ex-girlfriend didn’t want you to leave during a fight, especially when she wasn’t getting what she wanted, and she sensed that you were totally at the “screw you, I’m out of here” point. She literally jumped up on the hood of my car and grabbed the windshield wipers.
The day I announced I was leaving, and ran down the steps, she was right behind me, but I soon out-sprinted her and ran off into the distance. I had parked the car about a 1/4 mile away, and figured I could outrun her, and then blast off into the city before she could catch me. It worked.
9. Glad They Realized How Crazy She Was
My girlfriend of 11 months tells me she’s in love with my best friend and isn’t attracted to me anymore. That’s fine; why be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you? We break up. A month later, she shows up at my door claiming to be pregnant. I call bullcrap for a number of reasons, but mostly because she refuses to take a pregnancy test. When I stop returning her calls or opening the door for her she calls my mother in the middle of the night screaming about her pregnancy.
My mother is smart enough to know its a lie. A week goes by with nothing, then I get a knock at the door from two uniformed police officers. She claimed I sexually assaulted and beat her. Everything worked out when they finally realize how crazy she was. It’s been three years and I haven’t heard from her, thankfully.
8. Crazy Thoughtfulness
I was dating this very sweet but very crazy young woman named Sunny before I began dating the woman who would become my ex-wife. I once told Sunny about my dream of going to Juilliard school of music. It was just pillow talk and I knew nothing would come of it. We broke up because we just weren’t compatible, and then I met someone else and got engaged after way too brief of a courtship.
About two months after I moved in with my fiance, we get a big envelope. It was sent to my fiance’s house even though she’d never been to our house. The recipient’s name is “Sunny Miller (my last name).” Inside was a big pamphlet and registration for Juilliard. There’s a post-it on top that says: “I know we’re not together anymore but I still love you and want you to pursue your dreams.” I was so touched. I’d never received such a thoughtful gesture in my life. My fiance was livid. Because my ex-girlfriend sent a letter to an apartment she’d never been to, with her first name and my last name. It probably didn’t help that I was like, “Yeah sure it’s crazy but just look how thoughtful it is!”
7. All Because Of A Video Game Character
There was a lot of crazy going on during my last relationship; about 98% of it is just sad or scary so I’ll instead talk about the most ludicrous aspect. She actively considered crushes on fictional characters to be cheating. It started innocently enough. She told me to stop making thirsty comments about a famous band member I had a passing crush on (that’s a real person, so I understood the discomfort even if it was a tad unrealistic).
Cut to a few months later and she pitched a huge fit that devolved into a huge fight because I’d mentioned how cute I thought a video game character was in passing. She thought I was preparing to leave her for said video game character. It was during that fight that I started to realize that I was fighting a losing battle in that relationship. That wasn’t even the craziest thing she did, but it is certainly the most ridiculous in retrospect.
6. She Wanted To Be The Top Priority, Not My Studies
Back in 2014, when I still in middle school. There was a girl (who we will just call “Jane”) was kind of infamous for being a pretty laid back and chill girl to be around. I liked her because of her personality and wanted to actually date her, so I started to talk more and more with her and soon dated her. This being middle school, a literature school at that, there wasn’t much time for relationships, though I still did try to find some time to be with her, but apparently that wasn’t enough. She continued to nag me saying that I should care more about her than my studies, and would cry every time that I didn’t. Then when I complied, she automatically would switch up and said that she “loved me.”
Long story short: She came over my house and ripped out my math homework because I said that I needed to complete this missing assignment and I ended the relationship there. Luckily, this was 8th grade and I didn’t have to see her again after graduation.
5. She Got So BORED
So I have keratoconus in both eyes. There is a treatment that I had about five years ago. The surgery was all day long, and I couldn’t see out of my eyes for a few weeks and ended up getting an ear infection in that same time span. My ex decided to come over for a few days to help me get through the initial blindness. Turns that she wasn’t there to comfort me; she actually wanted me to entertain her.
She immediately got bored (I was loopy from the medication, blind and having an ear infection) and eventually irritated that I couldn’t entertain her. She spent the entire two days in the spare bedroom/outside walking with her phone. It was also brought to my attention later that she was texting other guys while I was out of it. We ended up breaking up shortly after because “distance was an issue.” Mind you, we were a 45-minute drive away at that point.
4. Not Yet Divorced
I met this girl at work. She got my number from someone else and started texting me. Long story short, we hooked up and moved in together. She was going to school a couple of days a week an hour and a half drive away. She would go overnight and say she was staying at her parents. I eventually came to find out that she was married and when she would go for class she was staying with her husband. He had no idea she was living with me.
It got really crazy for a while. She promised me she was divorcing him and that she would no longer stay with him. She pretended to be going through with the divorce but never really was. It didn’t last. I felt really bad for the husband. He was threatening to kill himself and all kinds of stuff when he found out about me. She cut him off completely for a while to make me happy but it just didn’t work. That was over five years ago and I have no idea what has become of her.
3. Everything Was A Lie
I dated this girl when I was 15 and she was 19. She convinced me to move out with her and work while I tried to finish school. I was doing morning classes and working afternoons/evenings. She struggled to find work for a bit then got a job and started working 40 hours a week. She would get lunches ready for work, come home and talk about training and her long day and tell stories about her co-workers like “Susan’s son got in trouble at school,” “Gary has to be out for heart surgery,” etc. This job lasted about three or four months and one day on my commute between school and work I saw her on the opposite end of town from her “workplace.” I brought it up later and started asking more questions.
Eventually, it all came out that she had been lying about…everything. She hadn’t ever had a job, not even an interview. She was lying to her folks about payroll issues so her dad was funneling her money which she passed off as a paycheck to me. She made up every co-worker, every story, everything. And instead spent a lot of time wandering town, waiting until I left for the day and going back home to sit on her webcam with her shirt off (long before that was considered a career so it wasn’t monetized).
2. She’s A… Dragon!
I dated a girl who believed she was spiritually a dragon. I’m not talking about like, “OMG! Dragons are totally my spirit animal!” It was more like, “I am the reincarnation of a Draconic Egyptian priestess.” This was my first introduction into otherkins and indigo children. She was also an empathetic vampire and other crap. But here’s the thing: it didn’t bother me. She didn’t really bring it up much and she was really cute. We dated for years but as time went on we found ourselves less compatible. But one of the tipping points was involving her dragon heritage. Sure, I don’t care if you tell me…but what do you expect me to do when you tell other people? She told my close friends, who didn’t take it seriously at all. I was embarrassed and she was angry.
She was also irate because she wanted me to defend her. She brought up the “it’s either me or them.” A few months later she broke up with me, but it would’ve happened regardless. I more than likely didn’t handle it well, actually, I didn’t handle it well. However, in my defense, I had no idea how to handle that situation. It’s not like she was practicing another religion. It was just utter crap. When you have people laughing at you en masse, I couldn’t stand tall and proclaim in defense of something I just didn’t believe in.
1. First Girlfriend, First Disaster
She was my first real girlfriend. We dated on and off when I was 16-18. After our first time dating, she accused me of physically abusing her and told all her friends. They ended up telling a bunch of people, so basically word got out that I was a predator. I ended up going to therapy four times a week for about seven months because of how much this messed me up. I dropped out of high school because of my embarrassment/heartbreak/fear. I ended up trying to make things work with her, like an idiot, after she reached out to me after seven odd months of no contact. She apologized for everything, claimed she cleared things up with her friends, and admitted she did it out of anger and has missed me every day since we broke up. Me being an idiot and still emotionally weak, I believed her. I came to find out that she slept with at least three dudes while we were broken up. Two of which were 21+ (she was only 16 at the time.) Obviously things didn’t work out. She was incredibly volatile, and ended up telling me she was “diagnosed” with borderline personality disorder (the reason I put that in quotations is because she claimed her mom pulled her out of therapy after her diagnosis, so I’m not sure if she was being truthful). She expected me to drop my entire life, quit my job, and move with her to Huntington Beach while she attended college. With absolutely no plan, no money saved, she wanted me to move in with her once she graduated high school. When I told her no, this was the start of our problems again. We fought a lot, and eventually I ended things with her after she lashed out at me for trying to help her after she left home.
After I broke up with her, she threatened to kill herself. I advised her to seek therapy again, but stood strong in breaking up with her. The next day, she texted me and told me she was fine and was looking for a therapist to see. I was happy about that, but refused to get back together with her. Once again, I made the stupid decision of promising her I would get back together with her if she persisted with therapy and I saw an improvement. We stayed in contact for a few weeks, she told me she wanted to have a child with me someday, all sorts of stuff like that. I found out a few weeks later she was seeing someone else, wasn’t actually pursuing therapy, and just wasting my time. I cut off contact with her, and haven’t talked to her in two years. Despite everything that happened, I still wish the best for her and hope she’s happy. I don’t want her involved in my life, and neither of us has attempted any contact. I’m now 20, and haven’t been able to date anyone seriously since because of the damage she caused. I’m well aware I shouldn’t have ever tried to make things work with her, she had serious issues and I was a pushover.