My Crazy Ex: People Share Their Ridiculous ‘Post Break-Up’ Stories

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Breakups, unfortunately, are things that most of us have gone through several times. It’s not very often that you find your soulmate right off the bat; a few frogs have to be kissed first. And while there are breakups that end amicably, most of them don’t.

When there are hurt feelings involved, people can get pretty crazy, and no one knows it quite like the people in these stories. They’ve experienced being rammed by vehicles, having their nude pictures sent to family members, told they were expecting a baby and were even pushed off trees. If you’d like to see some of the things that people have endured in the name of love- or hate- keep reading.

39. Ear Medicine A La Mode

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So, my ex was deaf. She moved in with me when we were still teenagers because her mom kicked her out. Well, I ended up getting tired of her (I know that I’m an idiot, but I have my own issues) and told her we had to break up. Obviously, I let her stay there until she found somewhere to go.

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Well, one day she was like “You want me to make you some food?”.  And I, not expecting to die from it, was like “Yeah, sounds good.” She put her ear medicine in the food and poisoned me and rolled out. I spent two weeks or so bedridden and legit thought I was going to die. The craziest part is she was super normal before that happened. She was clingy but that’s not a big deal. I actually like that in girls since I’m so insecure already.

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38. He Shaved His Butt For Me

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My ex didn’t take it well. We worked together and he would be crying pretty much all day and used to run off to make himself sick. Blimey, did this make everyone hate me. The worst of all though, was when he came to my house when I was out and my dad had to let him in. He had made himself a drink and lunch and was just waiting for me. When we were talking I noticed that his shirt had ridden up and he had shaved his stomach (he was quite a hairy guy), so I pushed his top up and he had shaved his chest.

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He then proceeds to take off all his clothes and stands in the corner of my room completely naked and all his body hair shaved off. All of it. He said he thought I would like it. I said I did not and had he shaved his nether-regions too? He then turned around, bent over to pick his clothes up and get dressed and I got a front row seat to view his shaved butt.

37. Tree-Climbing With the Ex

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So here’s a quick back story: I asked my then-girlfriend out after a long night of partying. We decided to climb a tree and watch the sunrise, and I kissed her and asked her out for another date.

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Now when I asked her to break up a few months later because of our completely different lifestyles, I still wanted to be friends…and I thought she did too. So she suggested that we climb the same tree, except we watch the sun go down and end it. I thought it was a great idea. We climbed the tree, which was pretty freaking high, and she pushed me off. I cracked four ribs.

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36. Can I Have Some Gas Money, Though?

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He drove over 150 miles back to where I was and showed up at my part-time job about 30 minutes before we closed- it was an outside location. First, he tried to propose right there to me, then talked me into meeting him at a local Wendy’s to speak.

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I’m no dummy; I showed up with three of my coworkers, two of which were decent-sized guys. After not getting what he wanted after an hour of talking, he actually tried to guilt me into giving him money for gas to get back home. I left his butt right there and made him call his parents to put the money on his bank account to get home. What an idiot!

35. Panties and A Groom

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After we broke up, my ex came to my wedding, 16 months later. Later that night, at almost 3 am, the wedding party was at its climax and I wasn’t wearing my suit jacket. So, she went to the service room.

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She took her panties off, and put them in my jacket pocket, then told my new wife that she and I had slept together in the bathroom, right there at the wedding. She then said, “check his pocket if you don’t believe me…”

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34. A Cat Litter Fiasco

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Two weeks after we split up I got with someone else at a party we were both at. She took my messenger bag and dumped the contents on the front lawn of the house the party was in and replaced them with pasta salad.

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The next day, she threw all of my belongings on her back porch; we lived together so this was literally everything I owned, and dumped several pounds of used cat litter on them. She kept the cat boxes in the basement and put the used cat litter in the old litter containers and only hauled them up once in a while, so she had a few containers of it laying around. She also shredded all of my cosplay stuff, which I guess was fair because she made them.

33.When Sending Nudes Backfires

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She sent nude pictures of me to my family members, friends, and co-workers. I was 25 and in good shape back then, so I wasn’t embarrassed at all.

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Everyone had a good attitude about, I ended up with a lot of compliments, even from my boss. It didn’t work out the way she thought it would.

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32. Do Not Copy

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Our relationship was coming to an obvious end, so one time that we were together, my soon-to-be-ex stole my house key and made a copy. One night, shortly after we broke up, I had friends over to hang out. We were sitting around the kitchen table having drinks and laughing when, all of a sudden, I heard my door open.

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Up the stairs comes my ex. Sadly for him, he didn’t expect that some of my friends were big guys who were more than happy to beat the crap out of him and take the key afterward.

31. Liar, Liar

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After she left, I agreed to give her exclusive use of our mutually-owned car for a couple of months, as long as she turned it over to me on a specific date. When that date rolled around, she refused to turn it over. So I showed up at the place where she was staying and demanded she turned over the keys then and there; I had a written agreement that she’d do so. She tried to stonewall me, but when I made it clear I wasn’t leaving without the car, she caved. About an hour later, a couple of cops showed up on my doorstep. They said she claimed I’d been screaming obscenities and threats at her through the door, and she was afraid for her life. When I calmly and rationally told them what actually happened, they got bored immediately and took off.

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She left the country and moved back to the States a few weeks later. I didn’t think I’d ever hear from her again, but then she hopped on Facebook a few months after our divorce and told all our mutual friends that I’d threatened to kill her… with anthrax. Then she issued an “Either unfriend him or unfriend me” proclamation. About 3/4 of everyone involved unfriended her. She was a piece of… work.

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30. Unwanted Nudes

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She dumped me and then keep sending me nudes. It wasn’t hot. It was weird. I’d wake up from a nap and I’d have 15 pictures on my phone.

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Like what the heck?! You dumped me and I’m trying to get over you. Leave me alone!

29. A Crazy Look In His Eye

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My ex broke into my house, twice. The first time I was home, but he regretted breaking in and snuck out before I found out he was in the house. The second time, his friends got him out of my house before I got home. He then refused to get in the car with them after they got him out and he began wandering around my neighborhood. My neighbors ended up calling the cops on him because ironically enough, “he had a crazy look in his eye.”

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We’ve been broken up for over a year and have had no communication. I just learned this week him and his new girlfriend tried to jump me a couple of months ago from our mutual friends.

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28. Country Songs and Sweet Love Notes

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My ex made me a CD of him singing covers of country songs with little explanations of why they made him think of me. At the end of the CD, there was a 10-minute rant of him yelling about how I broke his heart and messed him up.

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His friend delivered it in this weird gift-wrapped box. He also chalked the route that I took to school (a 25 min walk) with things like “I love you”, “please take me back” and all sorts of stuff.

27. A Virgin’s Plea

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My ex messaged/texted my friend and sister constantly asking what to do to get me back. He was a virgin (which played no role in ANY part of our short relationship) and he would constantly ask my sister if he lost his virginity did I think he would have a chance at getting back with me.

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Then, when he was asked to stop bothering my sister and friend, he insisted that they were friends and just because he and I had broken up it did not mean that they couldn’t still talk. The night before my wedding he messaged me to let me know he still had feelings for me but that we should still be friends because he could PROBABLY “control his urges.” What the heck?

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26. All About the Vacuum

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Back in high school, she broke up with me and I accepted it and when she “totally didn’t mean it.” But I let it stick. After that, she spent the entire night clawing at my bedroom window like some freaking Google search that was: “creature who scratches at windows during the night.”

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I didn’t want to make any sudden moves or do anything, because she lent me a Craftsman wet/dry shop vacuum. I was really attached to and didn’t want her family to ask my family for it, or anything. Ten years later, my car is spotless thanks to the fine workmanship of a Craftsman wet/dry shop vacuum.

25. Mom, the MVP

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My ex pretended to hurt herself in one of the silliest ways I’ve ever seen, then when I didn’t believe her she drove by my house and put candy and soda in my mailbox, then burst through my door crying and stood there.

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My mom told me to leave through the backdoor and she’d handle it. You’re the real MVP mom.

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24. Ramming A Car= Jailtime Promotion

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A lady broke up with her boyfriend, who I happened to work with. He got plastered while she and a friend were packing up her things, came out of his bedroom with a machete, and chased her and the friend out of the house. She got in her van to flee, so he jumped into his truck (while drunk) and chased her. He rammed the back of her vehicle several times before she got away from him. Then he disappeared for a day while the cops looked for him.

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The rumor was that he was hiding out in some hunting shack in the woods somewhere, that he got in contact with a lawyer when he sobered up, and the lawyer’s advice was (obviously) to turn himself in. It was probably the smartest thing he did, and was in jail for the next year or so. I don’t remember what all charges they got him for, but I do remember that ramming the vehicle wasn’t considered property damage since both vehicles were in his name. The story ends with him keeping his job via burning all his vacation time while being held and obtaining work release. They even promoted the guy while he was in jail. He was my direct supervisor for probably two years before I quit.

23. The Baby That Never Was

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After my break up, my ex went on Google and typed in “positive pregnancy test,” I assume. She copied, pasted and sent me the picture. She then claimed that I couldn’t leave her because she’d hold my kid and I had to stay with her. Honestly, I was scared because we hadn’t been using protection.

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She kept saying “It’s your child,” and threatened to get child support from me. I found out it was fake because I saved the picture onto my phone and uploaded it to my computer and saw its original file. I then went on Google and typed in ” positive pregnancy tests” and the first page’s 4th picture was the same one she showed me. I showed her the links and she got so mad- she just went off saying she hoped I got into an accident and died. Stuff like that. After that, she slashed my tires.

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22. “I Want It Back”

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I was out with my best friend getting drunk and she took me to get my first self-pleasuring device. My boyfriend at the time seemed to take this as an affront to his masculinity and went out and bought me a fancier one.

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When we broke up, he asked for it back, so I had to go out and buy him a new one because I wasn’t going to return something that I had already used.

21. The Climb

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When we first started dating, my husband’s ex-girlfriend climbed ONTO OUR ROOF via the fire escape, kicked in our window, screamed that I was disgusting, and then asked if she could use his phone charger.

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She was, of course, wasted. I’m amazed that she managed a climb to the third floor while that intoxicated!

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20. False Accusations

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My ex accused me of stalking him, breaking into his house, and trying to murder him. He says he has it on security footage.

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I’d be very surprised if he did because I was in a completely different state. He threatened to call the cops and sue me, but it never happened. I don’t talk to him anymore.

19. Missing Items

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We had been living together for two years and it hadn’t been going well, so she said that she wanted to move out. OK, cést la vie. She said she just wanted her clothes, the big TV and her kitchen stuff. She moved out at the weekend and took them. Three weeks later I came home from work, opened the door to the apartment and it was empty – totally empty.

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I checked the apartment number because I thought I must have opened the wrong door – but nope – she came back and took everything. She just left my clothes and my fish tank. That day I learned – CHANGE THE LOCKS WHEN A PARTNER LEAVES!

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18. A Steaming Pile Of…

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A couple who worked at a factory broke up. They were on opposite shifts, so she went to their home while he was at work to collect her possessions and move out. While there, she made sure to not only trash the place but to flush things down the toilet to plug it up (then pooped in it and left it sitting there).

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She even removed items like meat from the fridge so they would spoil (this was middle of summer, 90+ degrees heat) while he was at work. Prior to this, I’d been friendly with her, but I lost a lot of respect for her when she told me this story. She was quite proud of her actions.

17. Kicking the Door In

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I had an ex try and move into my house while I was at work. I had a two bedroom apartment and we were neighbors. We broke up the night before and once I came home all his stuff was in my other room. I had to send him out for beer to “celebrate” and locked him out.

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Well, he kicked down the door, ran back into his “old” apartment and I called the cops. The whole time I heard him telling the cops I slept with his friends and we apparently stole all of his stuff and put it neatly in my apartment. I never met any of his friends and am convinced he didn’t have any to this day.

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16. No Letting Go

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After I blocked his number, he bought about 100 prepaid SIM cards so he could try to contact me (I kept blocking every single one of them).

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Every week he would sit in his car at night and watch my house. This went on for about four years, even after he got married and had a daughter.

15. The Psycho

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A girl told me she was pregnant when I tried to break up with her. After I collected myself and started to accept it, she told me she was “kidding.” We had definitely broken up after that but something else happened two weeks later with the same girl.

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I wake up on a Saturday to her sitting in a chair right next to the bed with her chin on her hand all cute looking. She then said, “I just love to watch you sleep.”

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14. Puppy Love

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My ex went around school telling everyone I was a sperm whale and cheated on him. He then called me a total of 139 times over the span of a day, and had his mom drive him past my house multiple times even though I was living on the other side of town.

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This was all in 8th grade.

13. Cancer Fraud

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My ex lied to me about having cancer, months after our breakup. I still cared about her and she had already dated someone in those months. But I guess since that relationship flopped, she wanted attention. She told me and I cried and cried. In turn, she kept getting more distant and distant.

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Then I find out she’s in a relationship with someone, which hurt, and confused me. Months later, and to this day, she’s still in school, and I’ve since learned she never had cancer.

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12. Upping the Antics

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I tried to win my ex back by feigning an injury. When I realized his best friend who was forever was in love with him was now making her move, rather than apologize and talk to him to see if we could have worked things out, I upped my dramatic antics. Result: to this day and it’s been more than 10 years he HATES my guts.

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I did back off after he told me off, but the damage was done.  He and a frenemy of mine pretty much killed whatever positive rep I still had with our common peers. They still see me today as that crazy person.

11. Facebook Hacking

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I broke up with my ex because I outright told him that I was falling for another guy. I wasn’t even pursuing the guy I was falling for, I just felt so guilty and wrong for having feelings for someone besides my bf, so I was upfront about it. Naive ol’ me told him the name of the guy I liked, and he was oddly okay with the breakup. Too okay, in fact.

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The next morning, my Facebook notifications blew up. It turns out my ex hacked into my account and created numerous statuses saying how I liked X (the guy I left my bf for) and mentioned him. He also messaged X numerous times saying that I love him and I want to marry him and all other creepy stuff. My ex also mentioned how I broke up with him because I’m in love with X. X, feeling confused and extremely embarrassed because the whole of Facebook now knows how I feel about him, shut me out completely. I’ve never talked to both of them ever again since.

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10. My Ex Doesn’t Take No For An Answer

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Where do I start? My ex doesn’t take no for an answer. She starts showing up at my work and my flat uninvited, sometimes at stupidly early hours, banging on my door and crying. She found out where I was going to be on nights out with mutual friends, and would appear halfway through the night, miraculously, and without anywhere to stay. Every time.

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She once snuck into the back of my van when I was parked near her place. So, she got a free lift back to my place to start the drama all over again. This ordeal went on for about three months; it ruined my social life, affected my work to the point where I almost lost my job and it also affected my future relationship prospects. It was absolute hell. Oh and the best bit? I broke up with her because SHE cheated on me!

9. The Scrapbook Stalker

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I was seeing a girl for like three weeks. We went to school together, went out on a couple of dates, but then I broke up with her because we just didn’t pair up well. I broke up with her in a respectful way and she seemed to had taken it well. She showed up the next day at my football practice, interrupted the practice in tears and demanded that I speak to her immediately. She had then presented me with a scrapbook she had made for me to “keep all the memories.”

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Most of them weren’t even photos of us together, because we hadn’t been dating very long at all; they were random photos we both were in for classes and some weren’t even together- she had just cut both of us out of other photos and glued them together.

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8. Bad Ex-Periences

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One of my exes broke into my Facebook account and posted near-nude photos of me to my timeline, as well as a bunch of statuses about how much of a liar I was for leaving him (he cheated on me.)

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The latest one interrogated an ex-roommate about my previous sexual experiences and partners after being hung up on the fact I wasn’t his first the entire one-year relationship. That’s not crazy so much as gross.

7. No Love Lost

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I agreed to leave the house once she got approved for the loan to buy me out of my half. Then she reneged on the price but still tried to hold me to my side of the bargain. So, I refused to leave and she called the cops. Fortunately, an unsigned separation agreement with “DRAFT” written across it didn’t hold much sway. Four awkward months later, she came to her senses.

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Also, she told friends and family I wouldn’t let her see the kids on Mother’s Day and birthdays, when I had the texts to easily disprove her claims. She lost a lot of trust from people.

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6. Crazy Over A Cheap Ring

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My ex went absolutely crazy over a cheap ring. She said I stole it and wouldn’t give it back, but I had never seen it. She even sent her brother to try to intimidate me. A few weeks later, I was cleaning out some trash that she had stashed behind my bed (an empty 40-ounce bottle in a brown paper bag) and what do ya know?

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Out pops the ring from the bag. I let her know I found it if she wanted it and she acted like it was all a ploy to get back in contact. She learned the hard way it wasn’t.

5. Stranded At A Chicken Restaurant

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This is an old but true story from my coworkers. Two of them were dating and the man had a son from a previous relationship who was 18-19 years old. The woman slept with her boyfriend’s son for some reason. The son eventually confesses to his dad.

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In response, the dad fakes a new job in a far southern state (I think it was a 12-hour drive) and invites his girlfriend to drive down there to look at houses and relax for a week while he does the job interviews. They get all the way to Memphis from Philly. He pulled over to a chicken restaurant, told her he knew everything, and kicked her out of the car, leaving her stranded over a thousand miles from home.

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4. Security Breach

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My ex waited for 24 hours at the door outside my flat and then somehow got inside the building after. I don’t’ know how she entered because she didn’t have the gate’s key or the glass door’s key. All this happened while I was out at the house of a friend of mine.

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She slept on the staircase and didn’t eat. She rang the bell a lot, hit the door and now, I’m not the most liked neighbor the building.

3. The Hamster Helper

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This is more what I did to the ex when he left but hadn’t taken his stuff yet. I gave birth in his underwear drawer to multiple babies, then ate them all, leaving bloody body parts all over his underwear.

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Well, technically my hamster did it, but close enough. It was still messy and gross and perfect because I could legitimately claim innocence.

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2. A Friend Is Someone I know I Can Trust

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My ex and I went to the same college and for a few months after the break-up. I would find Post-It notes on the door of my dorm room with random insults. I knew it was her because I recognized her handwriting. It was especially weird because she was the one that cheated on me; if anything, I should be the one that was upset.

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I think maybe she was pissed off because when she asked me if we could still be friends I told her, “No, a friend is someone I know I can trust and I can’t trust you anymore.”

1. The Reminder

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My ex-husband emailed me every other week to let me know his girlfriend, who he left me for, is the love of his life. It’s been 4 years since this started and he still emails me every 2-3 months to remind me of this. I used to ignore the comments because it felt petty and only responded to the stuff about our kids but now I make sure to let him know how incredibly happy I am he found that person and wished them the best.

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I have no idea if these comments are meant to make me hurt or whatever but it’s been four years; he has aged very poorly and his personality has gone to the dogs. And I don’t love him, so it just feels pointless and awkward.

Kennita Leon

Kennita Leon

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