39. The Ultimate No-No
I found out how a woman, let’s call her “Ay,” is related to me and it’s something no one could have ever predicted. Back when my mom was 16 and my dad was 17, they had a daughter that they put up for adoption. They explained to me that they didn’t have the resources to provide for a child at the time and they had even considered doing the same with me, even though they were married when I was conceived. My older sister would be 38 now and this is the kicker and why my parents are now divorcing. When my older sister, who was put up for adoption turned 18, she came looking for my parents and found them. They had a good relationship with each other, and then one day, she randomly disappeared and cut all contact when she was 20. They had no idea why; let me rephrase that, my mom had no idea why. Years later, I told my parents about a match I had on 23AndMe, Ay, and my dad looked like he’d just seen a ghost. He didn’t talk for a minute, but then he told the truth and I almost wish he hadn’t.
He admitted he screwed up his relationship with his first daughter by sleeping with her (both of them were willing participants) and that Ay is the result of their union. All of those “business trips” he went on weren’t business trips. He would go visit her and they’d get down to business, even right before my mom’s father passed away. He even went to the hospital to be with my sister so he could support her while she gave the baby up for adoption and claimed she didn’t know who the father was. My despicable father thought my mom wouldn’t question his whereabouts since she was too worried about her sickly dad. That’s what he was busy doing. I was so disgusted that I wanted to throw up. I have messaged Ay (my niece/sister) and told her the truth because that’s what she deserves. She’s suffering physically from my dad and sister’s terrible choice, and probably emotionally and mentally too. Looking at her profile picture again, she and I look really similar. What do I even call her? My niece? My sister? Both? Sometimes things are better left alone. I learned this the hard way.