Funerals are usually very sad times, but on rare occasions, they can be joyful celebrations of a person’s life. The funeral stories we’ve collected for you today are anything but. These are some of the craziest and most unbelievable things you’ll ever read in your life. From fights to falling coffins, these people have almost died just by attending these funerals. If you’d like to read about some of their experiences, keep scrolling.
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39. Something More Subtle
At my great grandfather’s funeral, my mom, my aunt, and my great aunt all went up front to view the body. They looked down at him only to find that he was wearing bright raspberry pink lipstick.
They quickly wiped it off and dug through their purses for a more subtle color to put on him.
38. Food For the Cats
My brother’s friend’s dad, Jay, used to help our neighbor, Mary, out every few weeks or so. It had been two weeks or so and nobody had heard from her. Jay went over to check on her and found her lying on the floor. He was cleaning up and went to lift her and her arms fell off! To his horror, the cats she had started eating her. We found out later that she had had a heart attack.
So, we are at the viewing and Jay slips in and sits down next to us and as they are praying he whispers “Want to know something funny?” Before we even speak, he says the body is not in there because it was so messed up and smelled horrible. We bust up laughing and shamefully left. It turns out though she was wealthy, didn’t have any family and or a will for that matter. She hid money in cereal boxes, newspapers, shoe boxes, etc. The funeral home bought the house and made a killing off her.
37. When The Dead Rise
A young girl dies and the family opts to have an online memorial where people can give condolences. The mother calls in and is so livid and so distraught at the same time. A comment pops up; the father goes on about how he wished he could have been the one who taught her about God.
He says he always hoped to meet again someday. He said he hopes her mother brought a godly man into her life. And he signs it, daddy. Just one problem, Daddy has been supposedly dead for ten years. I find out that his family helped him fake his own death to this woman and his child to skip out on child support.
36. Taking Back What’s His
I went to a funeral where the man had died from rapid onset of cirrhosis and multi-organ failure. In his last years, he had clung to religion. The minister from his church (a holy roller type) had apparently given him a wooden cross with which to cling to and pray.
During the funeral, the dead man was holding the cross in folded hands. The minister, in the middle of the sermon, pried the wooden cross out of the dead man’s hands, claiming that he had only lent the cross to the man because his (the minister’s) mother’s ashes were in it. Horrified doesn’t begin to cover it, and I’m an atheist.
35. Ashes In the Wind
A lonely but rich client of my lawyer friend wanted to have his ashes sprinkled over Sydney Harbor. The lawyer had spent months trying to get official permission – without success.
One Friday night – half pissed after office drinks – a few of them decided to catch the Manly Ferry, say a few solemn words and tip the contents of the urn (that had been sitting in their office for months) into the harbor. The wind caught the ashes and blew them all up over the passengers on the top deck…
34. The Lost Inheritance
I’m a funeral home employee. We’ve had fistfights between family members, ex-spouses/step-kids greeting guests by telling them how the deceased allegedly molested/abused them, and members in attendance standing up in the middle of service in our parlors and trash talking the deceased before walking out.
But by far the craziest thing that has happened was when an estranged family member started furiously searching through the casket because she believed that the deceased had ordered that he be buried with tens of thousands of dollars of what she thought should have been her inheritance. The night staff had to call in the embalmer to fix all the damage she caused to the body/casket.
33. Replace the Straps!
I’m not a funeral director, but I worked groundskeeping at one of the local cemeteries. Now when lowering the casket into the vault,t it is held in place by straps on a lowering device. We had a director who denied our many requests for new straps as the ones we were using were bound to break at any time, and these straps are not cheap. We were basically told to make do with what we had and said the straps on hand were fine. She is never out on the grounds, so this woman honestly has no clue.
So we set up for an evening service using the same straps, praying to dear the lord that these things do not tear. The family comes, casket comes, and the service is concluded. Now usually, we don’t let families stay after the service when lowering caskets into the ground, just as a liability precaution,s but for some reason today this precaution was bypassed. To sum it up nicely, the straps tore like hell, the casket falls over breaks open and this man’s body goes tumbling into his grave. Gasps were had and people fainted. It was definitely crazy.
32. The Reenactment
I attended a funeral in my hometown for a wheelchair-bound man, whose brother had caused him to lose his life. Their sister was an employee of mine, so I felt that attending was lending my support. After a brief eulogy was given for the man, a family member said that the man’s nieces were going to do a skit.
Two girls, about 9 or 10 years of age, got up and reenacted the murder, complete with stabbing and throat-slitting while one flailed in a chair. It was horrifying and beyond inappropriate. I have never been so speechless in my life.
31. The Revelation
At my friend’s uncle’s funeral, the pastor asked if anyone would like to say a few words. Some woman no one knew got up.
She starts talking about how nice a man my friend’s uncle was, and how she enjoyed working for him (she was his cleaning lady). Then she starts breaking down and saying how they were planning on eloping and she loved him. His wife was stunned.
30. The Raids
When I was a mid-teen, I was given the job of guarding my grandaunt’s house while the funeral went on (in case of burglars who surf the death notices for places to hit.)
To my disbelief, the son appeared first and then the daughter tried to raid the house. There was supposed to be some cash that their mother had stashed in the house somewhere.
29. The Close-Up Shot!
My family friend’s mother was lowered into the grave by machine, while everyone watched. The machine broke and the coffin went on an angle and she rolled out. My other family friend who was filming (she was a big deal in a particular community), decided now would be a good time for a close-up.
The original family friend starts to punch him; the videographer holds onto his camera and tries to freaking interview the guy punching him. The videographer then tried to charge the original family friend for the video costs. He is no longer a family friend.
28. Sucked Back In
My friend (Al) had a brother whose brother had died and been cremated. He had stated that he wanted to have his ashes sprinkled from an airplane. So Al and his other brother (Bob) rented an airplane and pilot, flew over the mountains where the deceased wanted to have his ashes spread, opened the door and opened the container.
Big mistake. The slipstream caught a large part of the ashes and sucked them back into the airplane! They started laughing and saying, “This idiot doesn’t want to get dropped from a plane after all!” It turns out that there’s a right way and a wrong way to dispose of ashes from an aircraft. Al and Bob did it the wrong way.
27. Here Comes the Bride…Umm, Corpse
It was a Saturday morning in a large Catholic church with multiple weddings and funerals on the weekend.
The funeral attendees turned around and looked up to the organ loft with confusion when the organist, by mistake, played “Here Comes the Bride” instead of the funeral procession.
26. Sorry Grandpa
I was once carrying my grandfather’s coffin. Now it was not heavy for the first 5 minutes, but the priest insisted that we stand at the end of the church until the end of the song.
By the time we started walking down the aisle, my hand could no longer hold the coffin and so I dropped it.
25. The Funeral Thief
During my grandmother’s wake, a woman from the neighborhood attended, even though she was not really friends with anyone in the family.
Later, my cousin found her leaving the place with several handbags in a plastic bag. A few of us left the wake to get the police involved without my grandfather, father or uncles knowing.
24. A Mistaken Cry
My wife’s grandmother passed away shortly after we were married. My wife is English and I’m American. After meeting while I was there as an exchange student, she came to visit me in the States. When her visa expired, we got married. Her parents weren’t happy about it and they weren’t able to attend the wedding. The grandmother died suddenly, so we went back for the funeral.
After the service, they carried the casket out to the graveyard (small country church) and while being lowered into the grave, the casket got hung up on the concrete curb around the hole. An older woman in the group wailed, “She doesn’t want to go!” My wife and I turned and hugged each other. The family was impressed that I was sobbing over a woman I had never met. Fortunately, they never found out that we were laughing hilariously.
23. At Your Own Funeral
I went to this guy’s funeral that I didn’t even know. There was a woman there who was sitting quietly at the front, seemingly in prayer while wearing a black veil that obscured her face. Towards the end of the funeral, it turns out she had actually fallen asleep and forgot she was at a funeral.
She screamed all of a sudden and began to cry uncontrollably, absolutely convinced we were at her funeral and she was a ghost, so she ran out of the funeral home. At the same funeral, some guy streaked while they were about to lay the coffin to rest. This was winter, with snow on the ground.
22. Gangsta’s Paradise
I was in charge of making the CD with the tribute music and didn’t want to waste a whole one– this was when back when CD-burning first started. The funeral was for my great aunt, an old Bolivian woman and half the people spoke Spanish and half spoke English.
When they hit play on my CD, across the speakers came “As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I take a look at my life and realize there’s nothing left.” It was Gangsta’s Paradise by Coolio.
21. Insensitive Priest
The priest who spoke at my great grandmothers funeral was trying to depress my grandfather even worse than he already was. They were together for about 70 years.
The priest kept saying things like “I know you’re broken inside and nothing can ever make it better,” “What can we say at this time to help you? There’s nothing. She is gone and she is never, ever, coming back” and “For so long you were two and now you will be alone until it is your turn to pass away, probably not long from now.” My sister and I were so confused by this man that we just had to laugh.
20. Another One Bites the Dust
We were at my great grandmother’s funeral and the only one who couldn’t make it was my aunt, but she called periodically to see how the weekend was going; she was checking in, trying to be there as much as she could. We had just settled in for the preacher to do his thing and everyone was quiet. Then my grandmother’s phone rings…(I have to preface the rest with this first: in the 90’s the only ringtones you could have were basically 8-bit.)
My grandmother is a huge Queen fan and had purchased a ringtone. We’re all sitting quietly when Queen’s “Another one bites the dust” in 8-bit starts playing in my grandmother’s purse. My mom and I instantly shoot each other a look and scramble for the door. We can barely make it out of the room before we lose it. A few people see and hear us and snub their nose. Little did we know that my grandmother lost it. She was laughing so hard (silently) she peed herself. She said her mom would have loved that to happen at her funeral.
19. As Awkward As It Gets
I went to a funeral for a Haitian guy I worked with that killed himself. He was notorious for cheating on his wife and several women he obviously cheated with came up to speak about him while his wife and kids were right there.
To make it weirder, many women would randomly scream, have convulsions and often had to be restrained throughout the whole funeral.
18. Shameless Reverend
The reverend took every opportunity during my (murdered) uncle’s service to segue back to the fact that his parish needed money. I was the one holding his envelope (the payment) and I did not give it to him following the service. I told him why. He didn’t see the shame in his behavior.
Besides using my uncle’s untimely death as a context to beg for cash, he performed the wrong denomination of service, rushed through the whole thing and he sounded like Kermit the Frog. Thinking about that day gives me violent thoughts.
17. A Dead Brother’s Selfie
This happened when my brother died. It didn’t happen at his funeral though; it happened while he was brain dead and still hooked up to life support. We allowed some of his friends from school to come to visit him one last time and this one girl came with her mother after the others had left. She seemed like a sweet little kid, although a little weird. But as time went on, we sort of realized that both she and her mother were pretty strange. They stayed for about an hour and a half (an hour and twenty minutes too long) and before they left the mother stated that her daughter wanted a picture with my brother just to remember him by.
So before we even had a decent chance to respond, the kid goes over to the side of the bed and makes a pouty face and takes a selfie with my dead brother. Needless to say, we were not amused. My mother let her keep the picture with the condition that she doesn’t show it to anyone at school because she seemed pretty tore up over it all. But about a week later, we heard that she was showing it to everyone she could. She was saying that he was her boyfriend and this was a picture of their last goodbye. Phonecalls were made and now, that little brat isn’t allowed to have a phone anymore.
16. Pre-Catered Funeral
I had an aunt who catered her own funeral. She kept a freezer in the garage full of cooked foods ready to be warmed up when she got cold.
If you were eating at her house and complimented her on the food, she liked to freak you out by saying something like “Glad you like the meatballs. Because you’re going to be eating them when I’m dead!”
15. Trying Something New
My grandma died before my grandpa. Since my grandpa was a Navy veteran (WWII and Pearl Harbor survivor), he got a free plot in a military cemetery. At this cemetery, they stack married couples one on top of the other.
So, we are at the cemetery, and they are lowering my grandma down, and my grandpa asks, “so, if I had died first, they would have put me in first and put her on top of me? “The cemetery worker said, “yep.” My grandpa responded, “huh. We never tried it that way before.”
14. Not Doing This Again…Anytime
So a father from my classmate had died, and a lot of us from the school attended the funeral. The whole process went as well as it can, except one for one idiot who was laughing almost the entire time, not loud, but loud enough that a few of us in his proximity had to calm him down. After the funeral ended, we all went to a restaurant nearby, because the friend’s family wanted to treat us (that’s a custom where I live).
Remember the guy who was laughing? Well, he got drunk, like, fell asleep on a bench while waiting for our train-drunk, and at the end of everything, when the train showed up, we woke him up, and he looked at the friend whose father had died straight in the eyes and said “We should do this again sometime.” I was trying so hard not to knock him out and throw him into the train.
13. A Kiss Then A Fall
I have a very short uncle. He went to kiss his friend on the cheek and fell into the casket.
The lid closed on him and all you could see were his legs dangling from the closed casket. I don’t think he ever got over that.
12. “He Could Be In Hell Right Now”
This happened at my younger cousin’s funeral recently. I mean okay sure, the family had a Baptist ceremony and maybe they expected it and all, but it was horrifying to me. We had just lost this boy to a freak accident, and this minister is up here telling his parents and grandparents “Well I’d like to believe your child is in heaven, but the truth is that we don’t know that. He could be in hell right now!”
It’s just not right, in my opinion. Just not right at all. I wish I’d had the nerve and the verbal capability to stand up and punch him right back into Sunday school.
11. Surely Not My Mom
I couldn’t make my grandmothers funeral, but my brother told me this one. My cousin, who is like 15 at the time, gets up and makes a beautiful eulogy about grandma that couldn’t be any sweeter.
My estranged aunt had come to the funeral and in the middle of the eulogy of this 15-year-old girl she loudly says, “am I in the right place? She surely isn’t talking about my mom.” It didn’t go over well.
10. He Was Supposed To Be Dead
This man comes in and starts crying over the casket. My uncles look incredibly nervous because my father is near the casket as well.
I asked my cousin who was beside me and she stiffened up. I’m like “what?” She wouldn’t budge but takes me outside. She said that’s your mother’s ex-fiance. I’m like “whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!??!” She told us he died. I never told my dad and no one else did either.
9. Dad, The Cheapskate
My dad is a minister, and since he and my mom had divorced, he would often bring me along for work that happened outside of school hours, so he didn’t have to pay a babysitter. He would bring me to funerals and weddings he was officiating and I would usually just hang out in the back and play.
One day, he brought me to a funeral parlor I wasn’t familiar with and at some point during the service, I had to pee. There wasn’t anyone around to ask so I just kind of wandered out into the service and asked my dad where the bathroom was because I had to pee “really bad.” In addition to disrupting a funeral service, I also asked right my question right into the microphone on his jacket so the whole congregation heard. I didn’t really understand what I had done for another few years.
8. “Let There Be Light”
At my Great Aunt Margie’s funeral, a thunderstorm had passed through not long before that. I go in and the power is out in the whole funeral home. Candles were lit everywhere.
While the priest was talking and praying during the service, he put his hands up and said “Let there be light!” and all the lights came back on right at that moment. Freaky!
7. The Greedy Uncle
When my grandfather died, my uncle planned the whole funeral and ended up making it all about him. Literally. Instead of pictures of my grandfather, all the pictures were of my uncle doing things like skydiving and stuff.
He ended up having the will read without my father present, and took everything my father and I would have gotten. He took all of the money my grandfather saved for me since I was born. I was disgusted.
6. What Was Her Name Again?
The priest said the complete wrong name at my mother’s funeral within the first 5 mins.
Then he said it wrong again. It was at this point my brother stood up and yelled at the priest in a packed funeral. No one in my family steps foot in that church anymore.
5. “You’re All Sinners”
I almost fought the minister at my grandmother’s funeral. We were crying and upset, as per the occasion. He went on to tell us we were all sinners and going to hell, for what reason I’m not sure; he didn’t even know us. He also told us to stop crying because she’s in a much better place than us.
They got a minister last minute because she didn’t go to church but was “saved” right before her death. So they found this guy. I was so close to punching him but thought better of it. I regret it though. That man was pure evil.
4. Cosplay Commotion
The ex-girlfriend of my best friend committed suicide about a year ago, and since I have several friends who knew her, I ended up attending. The girl was a total nerd; she attended comic cons on a regular basis, etc. So her parents encouraged people to come in cosplay.
What followed was the worst event I’ve ever seen. About 100 people showed up in varying degrees of cringe. They played Black Veil Brides at the ceremony and everyone was dancing. She was buried in cosplay as some Vampire Knight character. I wanted to be the one being buried. At least the food was good.
3. Taking An Opportunity
At my mémère’s funeral, the pastor, who was running the service took it as his own opportunity to start proselytizing for his crazy church. He started predicting the end of times, as evidenced by the acceptance of gay marriage and abortion.
It took every ounce of will power to sit there and not make the scene.
2. Pop Goes the Lightbulb
It was at the wake for a girlfriend’s godfather. It was an…um…ethnic affair, and lightbulbs were popping and burning out as the preacher man is reading the eulogy and people are all gasping and saying “Praise Je-sus! Hallelujah!” as a bulb would pop.
I don’t know if there was someone behind a curtain somewhere screwing with the electricity to make the bulbs pop, but I’m pretty sure that’s not normal.
1. Not A Light Load
Went to the funeral of a friend; she was Irish and wasn’t the most petite of ladies. Her brother, partner and a couple of other Irish relatives were pallbearers and took the ropes to lower her coffin into the grave.
It was like she was trying to take them with her. Once they took the weight they all struggled not to get pulled into the grave. There were feet scrabbling at the edges and lots of tug of war poses. Gravediggers had to run over and take over.