Life is meant to be enjoyed, whether it’s partying in the club with friends, having an intimate family lunch or laughing your butt off with the people you love. These people have certainly enjoyed some of the jokes life has offered them by bearing witness to some pretty hilarious events.
While some have created these laugh-worthy moments, others were merely in the right place at the right time. These are some of the funniest things ever witnessed in public.
40. Poopie Ice Cream
I saw a kid eating some ice cream and a bird flying above him poop on his shirt. Apparently, he thought it was ice cream that dripped onto his shirt. He wiped it with his finger and stuck it in his mouth.
This little kid didn’t seem to detect a subtle difference in the flavor of his ice cream at first, until he slowly realized it wasn’t ice cream. I couldn’t feel my sides for a few hours. Oh well, you should never eat ice cream while standing under a tree, or else.
39. Butt Pecker Chicken
When I was in HS, I had a 20-something-year-old psychology teacher with an extreme phobia of chickens. One day we were going over phobias and she mentored the chicken story. She was in the middle of saying, “that chicken pecked my butt” when she started having a hot flash.
At this point, she stopped the lesson, drew a “No to Chicken” sign, opened up the window, stuck half her body out, and yelled “I HATE CHICKENS!!!” and then came back in like nothing happened, while all of us just stared at her like she was crazy.
38. He’s Fast, She’s Furious
About six years ago I was the passenger in the car with my grandfather and we were sitting at a red light on a hill going down. We had our windows open because it was a really nice day, then when suddenly we heard “Wooooooooooo! Yeeeaaaahh!” coming from behind us. We both turned in our seats and saw a very old looking man in a wheelchair flying down the hill on the sidewalk with his arms up in the air, occasionally reaching down to push his wheels for more momentum.
A woman who appeared to be in her 50’s soon came into view yelling “Stop this right now George! This is not funny!” while attempting to chase him. The light turned green, so we just continued to go; I do not know what happened to George after that.
37. “I’m Pissing On My Face”
I was in a car, a 2CV with a roll-back canvas roof, trying to get to the train station with a few mates of mine. We were already late and didn’t have time to stop for one of the blokes to pee. So he stands on the back seats and takes a leak out the back of the moving car. “I’m pissing on my face,” he says.
This was funny. We all expected a few drops to have been swirled up into his face by the wind, but when he turned around and sat back down, he was drenched. Drenched! Not a single drop of pee had hit the tarmac; his entire bladder had emptied in his face. It was pure gold.
36. Road Skiing
I was wandering to work one day, minding my own business. It’s normally a fairly busy road, but the way the traffic lights run, there are occasionally times where the road is completely clear. As I’m walking along the pavement, there’s this guy in a wheelchair with crutches across his lap, but I didn’t really pay him much attention.
That is, until he pushed himself into the road, picked up the crutches and started using them to propel himself along. It was like he was skiing along the road. In a wheelchair! There were five people standing around staring, not quite believing what we’d seen. That memory has always stuck out in my mind. It’s damn funny to think about, and I never did find out what he was doing.
35. The Stall
I was at the movies with a buddy. He went to take a poop so I entered the stall right next to his for a reason I can’t remember, then came right back out. A few seconds later, this gigantic 300-pound guy comes in and sits in the stall I was previously in.
My buddy, who thinks I’m still in the stall wipes his butt then starts waving the poop-covered toilet paper to the guy in the stall. I’ve never seen anyone yell so many curse words in public before. While all this was happening, I was on the bathroom floor crying and laughing harder than I ever had before.
34. Never Forget to Clear your Browser’s History!
We were at my great grandmother’s birthday (her 90th) a few years back and my dad sat opposite me. He had his phone out and said he wanted to show me something, so he opened his browser. He’d accidentally left an adult video open on it, and after my grandmother saw the still image (she also sat next to him), he scrambled to turn it off but ended up playing it full volume to a table of 12 people.
By this time, all my family members were looking at us, and one of them said, “Aren’t you too old for that?!” My dad’s face was beet-red. It was priceless. My great grandmother’s hearing at the time wasn’t very good so thankfully she didn’t hear, but for the 5 seconds that clip was playing, I pissed myself and spilled my drink all over the table.
33. “Bet You Wouldn’t Grab His Crotch”
I went to the cinema with three friends. Me and one of them arrived first, the other two, a bit after. So us two walk in and go past this guy in a racing suit with a helm and all, holding a flag. It was an ad for something and we thought it was just a statue/mannequin. We then realized as we walked by it was, in fact, an actual dude and not a mannequin.
So when we saw the other two friends arrive, we said to one of them “See the mannequin over there? Bet you wouldn’t grab his crotch”. So without a word, he walks towards him and I can’t say which one of them was more surprised. I laid on the floor laughing.
32. “Do You Need A Hand with That?”
My coworker and friend who is very good-natured and socially awkward worked at a sporting goods store. He noticed a man without arms struggling with the kayaks. Naturally, he goes over there and says “Do you need a hand with that?”
He literally froze so bad and got so red that someone else had to save the conversation because he felt so bad. He hid and went to the back of the store and contemplated his life for like 20 minutes. But you don’t close out an awkward situation by running away from it, that just makes it worse, and henceforth, more hilarious. I can’t stop laughing at how accidental it was.
31. An Epic Wedding Vow
My wife’s aunt was getting married and they were doing their own vows. She had an entire page written, but she wanted them typed so she could read them better. She asked me to do it. At the very end, I put “With liberty and justice for all. Amen.” I thought she would notice it while practicing.
A few hours later, I asked her to read through them to make sure they were right. She did and said they were perfect and thanked me. I figured someone would read it and catch it, but no one did. Sure enough, she got up and read them including the part I typed in. I got yelled at pretty bad by everyone in the family, but the laughs were well well well worth it.
30. Double the Trouble, Double the Fun!
In college, I had this dopey friend who didn’t quite get the subtext of anything, probably because he was from Pakistan. He was grabbing something out of his apartment, so we parked in a deck under his building. We told him that he MUST hurry and be back in three mins, even though we had like half an hour.
So he takes two steps outside the car, slips on some black ice, and slams his face against the car hood. He pops back up, and runs to his apartment. When he returned, he slipped on the exact same patch of black ice, slammed his face on the same part of the hood, popped back up and hopped in the car like nothing happened, letting us know that he had made it in three minutes. He refused to acknowledge that we had just seen him totally eat it twice in the same way. It took five minutes for my other friend to start the car because we couldn’t stop laughing.
29. Poopy Talk
When I was like 10, my 13-year-old cousin was cleaning poopy toilet paper and a few turds out of a five-gallon bucket. I don’t remember why or how it got in there to begin with, but he was using a stick to try and fling the poopy toilet paper into the woods and it ended up just going straight up into the air and landing back on him.
It still makes me laugh thinking about it 20 years later. We also number two’ed on a cardboard box and tried blowing it up with firecrackers. After one of them went off, he came running towards me laughing, but he didn’t realize there was a piece of poop on his tooth.
28. Lawn Favor
Last week, I was hanging out with some dudes who live a couple of miles from me. Just a bit of context this was my first time going out as a college student and I met these guys randomly as they were sitting around out front drinking. Anyway, for some unknown reason, one of the guys pulls out their lawn mower and walks across the street to the apartment across from his while they have a party. He starts mowing parts of the lawn while me and the other guys started losing it.
A local sheriff pulled up (while I was underage drinking) and asked the guy what the heck he was doing and he responded “I’m doing them a favor because we all know they will be too drunk to do it tomorrow” as he pointed towards the house. It made my life.
27. His Baggy Shorts are Falling Down, Falling Down, Falling Down!
26. Trash Slam
25. The Warm Up Roaring Fart
A very large woman at a Scrabble Tournament decided to loosen up before her first game. So, as a hundred people listened to the rules of the tournament, she got on the floor and started doing all kinds of stretching and aerobics.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if she wasn’t 350 pounds and wearing a summer dress. Plus, as the large lady was doing the stretching and aerobics to get ready, she bent over to touch her toes and let out the biggest rip roarin’ fart you ever heard. No one could contain their laughter!
24. The Absolute Madmen
My dad and his brothers are known for grabbing food/drinks and taking a bite/sip before knowing what the comestible is or to whom it belongs. Imagine three grown men who are as food-motivated as puppies. I’ve seen the oldest uncle take a giant spoonful of bearnaise sauce at a fancy wedding thinking it was soup and my other uncle put caviar on his slice of cake at the same event thinking it was jam.
On the day after Thanksgiving, the older uncle once raided our freezer and served himself a bowl of rendered, frozen turkey fat thinking it was ice cream. My personal favorite was the time my mom was getting their waterbed treated (it was the early 90s) and my dad took a gulp of the sample cup that was on the nightstand and had to get his stomach pumped.
23. New Pooping Meta
I work in fast food. I had just clocked out for a break and was headed out to my car to eat and bump music. Before I headed out, I decided to hit the bathroom. We have a men’s bathroom and a women’s bathroom, both of which are singles and the men’s bathroom has a toilet and a urinal. The urinal is in a really strange location; if you open the door the urinal is on the wall to the immediate right.
I knocked on the door and no one responded, so I pushed it open. The door was unlocked and there was a kid with his pants at his ankles sitting in the urinal taking a poop. I quickly shut the door. I didn’t know how I react! I still have this image ingrained in my brain. My manager cleaned it up.
22. Pee Surprise!
When I was nine, my brother was 10. We had gone out for the day with my mom, one of her friends, and her friend’s two sons who were 12 and 13. At this park, all four of us boys went in to use the bathroom. There were four urinals, so we lined up and started peeing. One of the other guys lost control or something and peed on my brother’s foot. He was wearing flip flops so all of a sudden he felt warm liquid on his foot. He jumped back screaming, “Dave, you’re peeing on me!” As he tried to move out of the line of fire he slipped and fell.
As he hit the floor, he peed all over himself. I’ll never forget the visual of my poor brother, pants down, flopping around on the wet bathroom floor, peeing on himself while our friend peed on his foot. He stunk so bad after that my mom made him take all his clothes off and wash up in the sink; he wrapped a towel around himself and wore only that towel for the next couple of hours until we got home.
21. Waiting For The Next Victim
I was at Bonnaroo in ’09 and going to see a 3 am show. Centeroo was PACKED! There was a great rain/tornado storm to kick off the weekend and by Saturday night everything was just a giant mud pit. We stood shoulder to shoulder, lining a muddy walkway to watch the show, when two people walking towards each other slipped and fell in the mud. When they got up, I looked down and saw a fresh banana peel that one of them had apparently slipped on in the mud. They high fived and moved on.
From there we proceeded to stand there and place bets on the next banana-mud pit victims. The best was watching people with a drink in each hand sliding, their feet front and back like a cartoon, trying not to fall. The tripping dude in his boxers, going “OOOHHHHHH” every time someone fell was the icing on the cake!
20. Gulls Foodie Attack
So I’m sitting outside of Boudin Sourdough Bakery in San Francisco, near the fisherman’s wharf, and see a guy come out with one of their bread bowls full of soup. Now if you’ve never been here let me tell you the seagulls are everywhere, and pretty aggressive about trying to get your food.
So the guy goes and sits down, and starts eating his clam chowder and the birds are everywhere, squawking like seagulls do, and you can see it’s irritating this guy. So he makes the mistake of tearing off a piece of bread and throwing it to the gulls. He thought it was bad before, but once they knew they could get food out of him he was surrounded. So one of the seagulls lands near the guy and is standing with its back to him about five feet away. The guy gets up walks over and kicks the bird- as soon as he turns around he realizes this was a mistake; I would say there were 50 seagulls on this guy’s food. He then screams, “Oh I see how it is; you send your retarded friend to distract me while you sons of [expletive] enjoy my food.”
19. Turned On, Turned Off
I was at school with my friends talking to each other in a group at the end of the hall. The light switch for the whole hallway was beside us. The whole time we were talking, one of my closest friends kept meddling with the light switch. He wasn’t really that interested in the conversation and kept interrupting us about how the light switch was broken. “Every time I turn it on it goes off again!” He kept saying and no one paid him much attention.
After about five minutes of this, there is a loud scream from the other end of the hallway; it was the head teacher of the school. Turns out there was another light switch at the other end and every time he switched it off she switched it back on. They just couldn’t see each other from their positions until she poked her head out from around the other sides corner. He got in so much trouble. So damn funny.
18. I Am So F* Wetarded
We were staying with my nieces and nephew and my husband decided to pull a prank on the oldest, who was 16. On a piece of paper, he writes “Eye yam sofa king wee tod did.” He hands it to her and goes, “I can’t figure this out. Can you read it out loud so I can hear it and it might help?”
So she does and we giggle; her younger siblings also giggle. She reads it again. And again, getting louder and annoyed which makes us laugh harder. I read it to her; she STILL isn’t getting it. Ten minutes, it keeps getting funnier. Once she got it, she laughed her butt off, but now it’s become a running joke between us all.
17. Answering ‘Not-For-You’ Questions
A friend of mine was at a rest stop outside of Chicago and he enters a stall and sits down. There’s a guy in the next stall and nobody else around. The guy in the next stall says, in a totally casual way, “how’s it goin’?” OK, it’s a little strange to have a guy in the next stall say something, but this was just a fellow traveler and they were the only two in the restroom. “Oh, I’m doing OK,” said my friend.
The guy in the other stall says, “So where are you headed?” “Oh, I’m just passing through Chicago on my way west. It’s great to have this good weather…” The guy in the other stall says, “So, you have anything planned in the city?” “No, Chicago is a nice place but I’m on a business trip. No time to spare this trip,” said my friend. And the guy in the other stall says, “Say, could I call you back? Some butthole in the next stall is answering all my questions…”
16. James Bond’s Train Stunt
15. The Full View of Starfish and Nuts
I was dropping my husband off at work one morning (downtown Seattle). We were waiting at a red light on a busy intersection. This short, chubby guy slowly walks into the intersection dragging a dirty old comforter blanket on the ground. When he’s basically in the middle of the intersection, he stops walking and starts fumbling around at his clothes. His pants fall to his ankles. Just our misfortune…he’s not wearing underwear. He drops his comforter. For some reason, he’s more concerned about dropping his comforter than his pants, so he turns to his left and bends down to pick it up, and gives my husband and me the full-on view of his starfish and nuts.
By now, the light has turned green, and nobody at the intersection wants to drive forward till the show is over. He grabs his comforter, picks up his pants, but his butt is still completely hanging out. He starts to slowly walk on, while looking around to see if anyone at the intersection saw (well, everyone saw it…) and walks to the other side of the street.
14. Fat Jedi
I was at a Sci-Fi convention with a friend and we get on the hotel elevator. A 10 year old (or so) girl gets on dressed as 7 of 9 and these two fat guys dressed as Jedi behind us start mocking her for not having ‘the goods’ to ‘fill out that costume.’ My friend, who is also rather large, turns around, looks them up and down, and starts heckling them for being fat Jedi- “Can’t you use the force to put those M & M’s down? The pizza’s calling you to the dark side. Do you have to use the force to get your fat butt into those robes? Those aren’t even Jedi robes; those are the hotel bathrobes.”
Everyone in the elevator was cracking up, and when the girl got off on the next floor, she had a great big grin on her face, turned around, and high-fived my friend on her way off the elevator. The fat Jedi got off on the next floor as fast as they could – it wasn’t even the floor they were supposed to get off on.
13. The Falling Party
Once at college, there was an ice spot on the walkway outside our dorm, covered in a light dusting of snow. My friends and I all slipped on our way home. Later from our common room window, we saw others falling. Within half an hour, eleven of us had gathered around the windows with tea and popcorn, watching every single person who walked down that path fall or flail crazily to keep from falling.
One time, a really tall guy wound up doing a chicken dance for about seven feet, but managed to stay upright. At the end there was vigorous applause — but not from our room! We rushed outside, turned around, and saw that at least four other windows in our dorm had crowds gathered around them. We waved and eventually, all gathered on the lawn for an impromptu “falling party.”
In high school Chemistry, we used to play “the plunger game” during homeroom where we’d toss a plunger in the air for various numbers of rotations and try to have it land stuck to the floor. One day as the tosses were getting a bit extreme in the high-ceilinged lab, one guy tossed it a bit too high and it landed on top of one of the light fixtures, which was amusing enough in itself.
Later in the class, we were back in the lab. The teacher was a bald, red-faced, heavily mustached man and was in the middle of explaining our experiment when the plunger teeters off of the light fixture and plants itself directly atop his head. The combination of the perfect ‘SCHPLUNK’ and the sight of him staring up at the lightning rod on top of his head in stunned silence was too much to handle.
11. Hitting the Jackpot
I was sitting in a bus that had stopped at the lights. A clueless dog owner was standing there reading his phone, while his dog on a leash laid a massive turd right behind him. When the dog finished, it got all excited and ran around the owner, sniffed its turd, and ran around him again.
Clueless dog owner gets his feet tangled up in the leash, then starts lifting his feet up and stepping back to get out from the leash. And of course, he steps right in the poop, repeatedly lifting his feet up and down. He didn’t immediately notice he was stomping on a turd. His expression went from annoyed at his dog, bewildered at the squishiness, to disgusted as he realized what he was treading on. It was beautiful. Meanwhile, I’m having a heart attack from laughing in the back of this bus while everyone is looking askance at me.
10. The Car with Face-Shaped Dent
Walking home from a party one night, my roommate and I were drunk and stopped at Little Caesar’s for pizza. Up until this point, my roommate was clearly drunk, but not stumbling or really slurring at all, just really keeping himself together. We get to the parking lot and I go to grab something out of my car and he’s just standing there waiting for me.
All of a sudden, it was like the top half of his body suddenly increased in mass and he started leaning and running to try to get back upright and ended up smashing his face into the side of the car. My first thought was “OH GOD, THE PIZZA!” Then I asked him if he was dead and told me he just wanted to lay there for a minute. Woke up the next day, went down to the parking lot, found the car with a face-shaped dent.
9. Upside Down, Funny Very Much!
8. Prank Gone Wrong
7. Fiery Hair
My buddy and I were playing around with bottle rockets a week or so before Halloween and he gets the brilliant idea to empty the combustible powder out onto paper and fold it into a tight square.
This is how my friend envisioned it going: Light the corner of the paper, throw it, boom, awesome, greatest dude ever. How it went down: Light the corner, WHOOSH, hair visibly on fire, me laughing uncontrollably. He was fine in the end. He lost some hair and eyebrows but it was pretty awesome.
6. Free Throw, Free Hit
Every year a local bank holds what they call “Corporate Olympics.” Businesses from the area get a team together of four guys and four girls. Each year is a different theme. A couple of years ago it was “Minute to Win It.” One of the challenges was to make as many free throws as you could in a minute. So we are all going, making fun of each other for our lack of basketball skills and then the last guy goes… it was like he’d never shot a basketball before. Anyways… not once… not twice… but three times he shoots over the basketball hoop.
But wait, there’s more! The first time flies completely over the backboard hitting a poor lady right in the face knocking her sunglasses off. Man did it hit her hard. Couldn’t help but chuckle, ask if she’s okay and then move on. We stupidly give him the ball back and the exact same thing happens, hitting the same lady! At this point, everyone standing in the area moves 20 feet away as we give him the ball back. And… yes he does it one more time, of course without hitting anyone because no one was standing there anymore. I’ve never laughed so hard or seen someone so embarrassed before in my life.
5. Indiana Jones Boulder
The man was clearly drunk out of his mind and just started rolling down the stairs, very slowly. It was so slow, in fact, that the escalator was keeping up with him. So he was basically just tumbling in place. He got a good bit of momentum and reached the bottom, at which point the escalator took him back to the top, and the whole process started over again.
Two girls ran up to help him. They were not dressed to save a person. They realized this was a 250-270 ball of humanity, and decided to run away, down the uphill escalator. It was like watching Indiana Jones. After about 90 seconds, he came to and got up, looking around like he hadn’t fallen down an escalator. Then his buddies came walking back and asking where the hell he was. They had missed the most monumental moment of this guy’s life. But I hadn’t.
4. The Bird Hates Him
3. Holy Make-Up Removing Water
I felt bad for her, but I can’t contain my laughter. The priest and those in the nearby wedding party thought it was hilarious too. I guess makeup brands should make some holy-water-proof makeup to avoid this kind of incident. It was a memorable wedding, indeed!
2. The Bearded Lady
A few years ago, I was playing Pictionary with my wife and her parents. When it was my turn, I had to draw the bearded lady. I’m terrible at drawing, so I came up with some stick figure with boobs and a beard with a large triangle behind it which was supposed to be a circus tent.
Everyone starts guessing, but no one is close. Suddenly, my father-in-law, who was looking upside down my drawing, jumps up and starts shouting out the different areas of a woman’s private part. He was so caught up in getting the right answer that he just kept shouting it. At this point, we all lost it. I have never laughed so hard in my life. My mother-in-law still has the picture posted on her fridge.
1. The Great Pretender
I was at a restaurant that had two steps up from the lobby into the main dining area. This kid was waiting in the lobby and playing around. He pulled both of his arms inside his shirt; I guess to pretend he didn’t have any arms? I don’t know.
Well, his group’s table was ready. As he’s following the hostess up the two steps he trips. You can see his arms flailing inside his shirt, but he can’t get them out to brace his fall. The look of pure terror on his face as he crashed like a tree in the forest was priceless!