Normally when people get arrested, it’s a serious, somber and often scary occasion. Sometimes, though, it’s pretty funny–at least in hindsight.
In these stories, people get up to lots of crazy things, including accidentally stealing a box of adult toys, faking an abduction, trying to sneak into a police station to break their friend out … and much more.
Read on for some entertaining stories about the most hilarious things people have gotten arrested for!
40. The Deadly Chicken
When I was a kid, my mom’s friend was arrested once because she threw a piece of fried chicken at her husband. Her husband came home after drinking one night, and saw her eating fried chicken. He asked, “Where the heck is my fried chicken?!” To which she replied with a drumstick to the face.
He called the cops and my mom had to go pick her friend up from jail, and kept joking she was charged with assault with a deadly chicken.
39. Just Some New Boot Goofin’
I had a friend a while ago who went to a Halloween party dressed as Lieutenant Dangle from Reno 911. He and another guy wound up getting DUIs and spending the night in jail.
DUIs are not funny in the slightest. But watching this dude do the walk of shame out of a precinct dressed as Lt. Dangle was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.
38. Dare Accepted
One time we were in traffic and my friend needed badly to pee. I dared him to run about a hundred yards in front of us, pull his pants down to his ankles, and pee with his bare butt facing traffic. The freaking madman did it but there was a cop not too far away and he saw.
Needless to say, he got arrested for indecent exposure. Fortunately, the cops were cool about it at the station and let him go with a warning.
37. Protect Him At All Costs!
When my brother was 14, he and his friends thought it would be fun to break into what they thought was an unused garage at the bottom of someone’s garden. They climbed in through the roof and got trapped inside. The owner of the garage called the police when they heard the alarm going off and saw some idiotic kids breaking in.
When the police arrived the owner just unlocked the door and the police just arrested everyone inside. I still remember my mother answering the phone and telling the police to keep him in the cells as long as they could for his own protection from her. Haha.
36. Poopie Haired Friends
A couple of friends of mine climbed up a microwave tower in the middle of town. They never would have been caught but when they got to the top they startled the big flock of pigeons that roost there.
When the birds took off they pooped all over them. They started shrieking and cussing and woke up the security guard in the building next door. When I went to post their bail the next morning they still had bird poop in their hair.
35. Sticking Toys Everywhere
I had a boyfriend in high school that was a bit of a delinquent. He and some friends found a box of adult toys (men’s-private-part-shaped toys) outside. They took this trash and because they were teens proceeded to put these all over the neighborhood; the toys were hollow so they put them on car antennas, etc.
Turns out the box was sitting outside the adult shop, and it wasn’t trash; it was merchandise, now stolen. The poor boy had to tell that story every time someone asked how he ended up in juvey.
34. Well, Sherman Did
My ex-boyfriend got pulled over for speeding in Georgia, but his isn’t what caused him to spend the night in jail–it was his response to what the deputy said.
Their conversation went like this: Deputy: “I ain’t never seen anyone burn through here as fast as you were going.” Ex-boyfriend: “Sherman did.” Almost 150 years after the Civil War and they are still pissed.
33. Never Forget Where You Park Your Car
I didn’t get arrested but I know someone who forgot where their car was parked and then reported it stolen. A while passes and they find their car, but they don’t report the unstolen car, and then they drive it to another state and get apprehended.
So yeah, they had to explain that the car was, in fact, theirs and they were the actual person who reported it stolen in the first place.
32. The Schlong Bandits
I sold my friend a can a spray paint that I stole from my garage. I did the transaction at school and he told me he’d be painting his bike. Instead, I got called into the office because he ratted on me after he put a huge schlong on the bathroom wall.
He got vandalism and I got minor in possession of spray paint (which I didn’t even know was a thing until they put me in cuffs lol). Apparently, he’d been doing this a while and the sheriff referred to us as the “schlong bandits.”
I have a friend who used to drink a lot and get into all sorts of drunken shenanigans. Once at a college football game someone cut in line ahead of him at the porta-potties. He got pissed and pushed over the porta-potty with the dude in it.
Pro tip: If you ever find yourself in a situation where you want to push over a porta-potty with someone in it. Push it over onto the door. Otherwise, you’ll quickly find yourself dealing with a very angry, very poop-covered individual. A fight ensued. He nearly got expelled, but it all worked out. Anyway, he’s a doctor now.
30. Fake Abduction Gone Wrong
A friend’s high school boyfriend was arrested for staging a fake abduction of a friend as he got off the bus. They thought it would be fun to film, and everyone directly involved knew what was happening.
The bus driver, however, didn’t know and assumed he’d just witnessed a real abduction and called the cops. After it became clear that no one was actually abducted, they were charged with a bunch of other things, primarily for wasting police resources.
29. The Pee-Nal Code
I was walking around NYC with a friend drinking beer. We had to pee, so we ducked into a parking lot next to a building. I went almost to the back while my friend whipped it out a couple of feet from the sidewalk. I warned him not to, but he was like “Bah don’t worry about it!”
Just then, two female cops drove up, and said to him, “You! With your junk in your hand! Get over here!” They wrote him a citation, and I kid you not, the stated violation was for some subsection of the “Penal Code.”
28. He Didn’t Even Have To Take It Out Of His Pocket!
My buddy hates anyone knowing about this, but it’s pretty funny. He went to the courthouse to pay a speeding ticket and at the metal detector, he emptied his pockets into the container. This included a small bag of pot.
He spent the next five hours being the butt of a joke as officers took turns laughing at him. A crappy way to get arrested, lol.
27. Somebody Pick Me!
In college, if you got caught underage drinking, you had to take something like an AA class. You meet with a counselor and a small group, learn about drugs and alcohol, and pay $200 bucks and the school doesn’t punish you much further.
Anyway, one girl in the class shared her story. She got really drunk at a party off campus. The place was on a huge windy hill and on her walk home, she’d kept falling and struggling. Eventually, she gave up and just called the cops on herself and waited to be picked up. She got cited and dropped off at her dorm. $200 Uber plus court fees.
26. Spongebob Drunkpants
I was on downtown weekend duty dealing with drunks on the street after last call. It was Halloween night and there’s a guy dressed as Spongebob. He has a huge foam costume and the works and is drunk as a skunk, stumbling across the street with a pitcher of beer.
My partner pulls over, we hop out and grab the guy. We pop open the back door and my partner begins stuffing him in full costume into the back of the cruiser singing, “You lived in a pineapple under the sea; you’re drinking in public and coming with me.” He didn’t miss a beat and I died laughing.
25. The Best Way To Hide From Cops
During spring break in Panama City Beach, FL my friend got so drunk he decided to direct traffic in the middle of an intersection. As the cop was reaching for his handcuffs to arrest him, my friend broke away.
He avoided the cops for about ten minutes by burying himself in the sand underneath a pier, and the officers happened to be on the pier when my friend’s cell phone went off. He had to spend the night in jail.
24. Swoosh! Swoosh!
My cousin got arrested on Halloween for waving around a claymore. He was dressed in tartan and everything. It was super late at night, and he thought it’d be fun to swing the sword he’d carried all night. Whoops, cops turn the corner and find a drunk dude swinging a sword around.
The best part is they couldn’t put him in jail in his clothes so they gave him an orange jumpsuit, and the other inmates avoided him. I’m sure they wanted to know the deal with this overly friendly long-haired dude that might have killed someone.
23. Prince’s Flasher
As a police officer of 19 years, I’ve seen a few amazing things. About five years ago, we caught a serial flasher who looked and dressed exactly like ’80s Prince. We spotted him in a place where he had been going regularly for quite a while. He would stand on top of a canal bridge and expose himself to people going under the bridge on barges.
As soon as he did it, we got out of the vehicle and rushed towards him. He spotted us immediately, ran down onto the canal side and we followed after him on foot. Anyway, we slightly lost track of him but there was only one way he could go, so we kept going. Eventually–and again, bear in mind he looked and dressed extremely similar to Prince –we see him sitting down holding a fishing rod pretending to fish, hopelessly attempting to blend in with a pair of confused fishermen.
22. Shut Up, You’re Drunk!
My sister-in-law was working the drive-thru at Taco Bell. During a late Friday night shift a drunk driver tries to use drive-thru and side-swipes Taco Bell, badly tearing up his car. He’s so out-of-it, at first he doesn’t notice. My SIL points out what happened from the window and he gets super pissed. He calls the cops himself!
The cops show up and my SIL waits inside for them to deal with him. A half hour later one of the cops comes in and tells the Taco Bell crew that the drunk spent half an hour ranting and insisting that they had driven their building into his car! He was arrested.
21. She LOL-ed So Hard
A girl I knew got busted for minor in possession by a cop with even better incognito skills. She was walking drunk with some friends, all under 21, and a bike cop jumps out of the bushes and surprises them all.
All the other kids run, but she notices the branches he has stuck in his uniform and helmet for camo and can’t even walk because she is laughing so hard. The cop was not happy.
20. So Where’s Your Truck?
My friend was high one night as we were leaving to go to a party, so we drove his truck and parked it and went inside. A few minutes later, he asks, “Where is my truck? I need to get something out of it.” We tell him, he leaves, then about ten minutes later we start wondering where he went. We go outside to see him in handcuffs, surrounded by police.
Apparently, he has gotten into the wrong truck (no idea, I guess it was unlocked) and started rummaging around in it. The owner sees this, pulls him out and beats his butt. My friend is so high he thinks the guy is trying to steal his truck so he fights back. That is when the truck owner decides to call the police. The dude was stupid to begin with though so whatever.
19. From Bar To Uber To Police Station To Fire Truck
One of my friends got so drunk one night he started “teleporting.” As we are walking to get food after the bars we notice he is missing. We call him and he says he’s in the back of an Uber and he will meet us.
Fifteen minutes later, the same guy calls saying he’s down at the police station. He didn’t get into an Uber … He climbed into the back of a fire truck and laid down. Apparently he doesn’t remember it but he’s about 5’5” so I can only imagine how surprised the firemen were when they got back to the truck to find a small man sleeping in it. He got criminal trespassing I’m pretty sure.
18. “Here, Catch Me!”
I was at a keg party at a beach house, and my buddy tried to break dance near the keg and got covered in a sand/beer mud. He went upstairs, supposedly to clean up, and that’s when the cops showed up. We were in the process of getting told off about the noise when he walks down the stairs, fully nude.
There’s a long silence where you could have heard a pin drop, then he looks at the three cops and yells: “HERE PIGGY PIGGY PIGGY, YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME” then he ran out the back door. He was halfway over the chain link fence when they shot him between the shoulders with a taser.
17. He Wasn’t Happy With The Pizza
We came out of a pizza shop to about four police officers dealing with a small fight between two drinkers. My drunken friend said: “Watch this …” and threw a huge slice of pepperoni pizza over his shoulder without looking. No idea how but it hit one of the police officers square in the face.
Turns out he was some big wig police chief who wasn’t happy with hot pepperoni and cheese to the smacker. Mate didn’t even eat his pizza; they took him straight off and he spent a night in the cells. We ended up eating a few slices then gave it to a nearby homeless man. Win-win.
16. “Get My Junk! Get My Junk!”
My friend is a cop and she told me the funniest story the other day. She got a call about a disturbance at a convenience store. She arrived to find a naked man yelling at the clerk. The naked guy saw her and ran. He didn’t get far before she pepper-sprayed him (I forget why she had to; I think he started getting aggressive towards her).
Well, he dropped like a dead fish screaming from the pepper spray. She handcuffed him face down, and backup arrived and started to spray something in his eyes to relieve the pepper spray pain. He immediately rolled over and spread his legs screaming “Get my junk! Get my junk!”
15. Epic Snowball Throw
Once while out at the bars with my buddies the night was ending and the bars were closing, which ends up with a bunch of drunk people kind of just hanging out in an alley/parking lot.
This particular evening it was snowing heavily. One of my buddies decided to throw a snowball and just airmailed it, not really aiming at anything. It hit the windshield of a cop car. He was immediately tackled by a couple of officers and spent the night in jail. I believe he either just paid a small fine or nothing.
14. Squealed Like A Pig
My college roommate and another friend went on a beer run and didn’t come back. Turns out as they were driving, they passed a cop who had someone else pulled over. My roommate leaned out the passenger window and squealed like a pig as they passed the cop.
The cop drops what he is doing, jumps in his car and chases them down. He arrested my roommate for public intoxication, and the driver for DUI.
13. Crawler To The Rescue
My brother got arrested for attempting to break into a police holding cell to rescue his friend. His attempt was made by “sneaking” through the front window of the police station and trying to crawl past the reception.
Problems arose because drunk people generally aren’t quiet or slightly stealthy and the multiple officers stood outside or in the reception have eyes.
12. The Guy In Tighty-Whities
I don’t remember exactly what the arrest was for, but how it went down was pretty funny. My mom and I were waiting at a stoplight one night when a couple of cop cars screeched past us and stopped in front of a house across the street. Before the cops get to the front door, this guy in tighty-whities (and nothing else) comes busting out and tries to run past them, zigzagging all over the place. This goes on for quite awhile (so long that more cops show up to help). My mom and I were laughing our butts off and by the time they finally tackled the guy, there’s a crowd of onlookers laughing just as hard as we were. We waited until the cops left before continuing on our way.
When we got home about an hour or so later, there’s a message on the answering machine. It’s my cousin wanting to know if we could bail him out and maybe bring him some clothes, too. We’d been laughing too hard to notice that the guy in the tighty-whities was my cousin.
11. The Right To Remain Silent
An attorney in (I think) New Jersey was arrested for remaining silent and not answering questions on a traffic stop. She was arrested for “obstruction” or something like that, but charges were eventually dropped.
The funny thing is after she was placed in handcuffs, the police read her Miranda rights including the right to remain silent.
10. Real Jail Time
A friend got separated from other friends on his birthday. He got too drunk to answer his phone/call for his friends, but eventually managed to flag a taxi. He was aggressive to the taxi driver and didn’t know/remember where his friend lived, so the taxi driver just drove him to the cop shop (jail).
He was not in trouble and they were just going to throw him in a cell and let him sleep it off. Instead, he yelled some racial slurs, punched the cabbie, and tried to tackle the cop. Assault. Fines. Real jail time.
9. Just A Freaking French Toast
I used to work at a breakfast place, and a drunk guy came in. The manager asked him to leave. He refused, then he planted himself at a table and pushed the little caddy of sugars and sauces onto the floor. The manager called the cops.
The cops ended up having to force him onto the floor and handcuff him, the whole time he was screaming that he wanted french toast. He would also gradually increase and decrease in volume with every sentence … “I just want freaKING FRENCH TOAST! THE FREaking french toast. FREAking french toast french tOAST! One of the cops kept calling him the “Baby Hungry Man Diner” and “Mister Sweet Tooth.”
My grandfather, a retired police sergeant, has a great story. One night when he was on patrol, he got a call for a break-in near his location. So, he went to go check it out. He gets to the house and sees this guy holding a stereo, climbing out the window backward.
Well, my grandpa decides to have some fun; he creeps up behind the guy and screams, “Boo, motherfather!” The dude drops the stereo and literally shat himself. He gets arrested and taken in, with the doo-doo in his pants.
I’m a cop. One day, we got a call of a drunk guy trying to get into the city fire department. I arrive with my training officer, to find a man with a full-face motorcycle helmet on, who has pissed himself. Next to him is a bicycle with no seat. I approach him and very nicely ask him who he is. He doesn’t reply. I help him stand and ask him to take his helmet off. He does, and locks of sweaty golden mullet hair pour down. This dude smells so badly of alcohol and urine that I’m coughing. I ask him one more time “Sir, what’s your name?”
He looked me dead in the eye, and says “They call me Rooster.” Stupidly, I asked him why that was. He then began dancing about and clucking like a bloody rooster. Now, the other officers on the scene are cracking up. I took him into custody (no charge, just to spend the night in jail and sober up). And while driving to the jail, he proceeded to “cluck” the national anthem while I sprayed him with Febreeze. You can’t make this crap up.
6. No One To Talk To?
During an overnight shift, we got a call to the local zoo from the security guard working there. He reported hearing “scary noises.” Everyone was curious, so about seven squads responded. The security guard had trouble explaining exactly what he had heard to us. Once we were on scene, due to a slight language barrier, and right about the time we were deciding he was either crazy or just hearing animals in the zoo, we heard it; it was a semi-distant blood-curdling scream. It definitely sounded human, and not from an animal. It was super creepy.
So, we launch into investigation mode, start searching the building (carefully because there are lions and whatnot around). Occasionally, we hear the noise, but it always seems to be above and distant. At one point, one of the cops outside the zoo spots movement on the roof. So we end up getting up there and cornering a teenager, high as a kite on shrooms. He had driven 50 miles to the city to climb into the zoo, because he wanted to talk to the animals. He had been on the roof looking for a way in.
5. “If You’re Arresting My Hat, You’re Arresting Me!”
An elderly couple called the cops on my drunk friend outside of a theater one night. He wasn’t being belligerent, just drunk and silly for the most part and being foolish with this ridiculous straw hat he’s wearing. The cops show up and the crowd is defending my friend to the fullest. Another friend shows up (sober) and the cops agree that there was no real danger here and if my friend would just give them the straw hat and get in the car with sober friend and head home there wouldn’t be an arrest. My friend hesitantly agrees and slowly hands over the hat.
A split second later, he turns and says, “If you’re arresting my hat you’re arresting me!” And snatches the hat takes off full speed running down Main Street. He’s arrested and released the next morning and ended up with some community service. Haha.
4. Kicking Lights
My dad spent a night in jail after a night in the bar. On the way home, my dad’s buddy had to piss. They pulled over next to a flaring road sign. Dad’s friend had his belt knife on and tried knocking the flashing lights out by throwing the knife at it.
He missed multiple times and decided he’d kick it and call it good enough. He kicked the light over and as he was getting in the truck cop lights turn on and pull in front of dad. Dad and his friend spent the night in the local jail cell.
3. But, Why?
A drunk guy at a gas station I worked nights at walked up to a cop who was wearing a light vest and asked him really odd questions like “Does that stop a nine? How about an AK?” before poking him in the vest.
The cop was super chill and told him not to do that again if he was smart. The drunk guy tried to grab his stun weapon when he turned around and the cop literally put him in a hammerlock and smashed him face first on the ground. Of all the reasons you could have, why?
2. Oops! Wrong ID!
A friend of mine in college had a fake ID and was arrested for public intoxication. He didn’t remember a thing, and upon his release, we asked if they also charged him with a minor in possession of alcohol thru consumption. He didn’t know so we asked to see his citation.
Turns out, when he got arrested, he showed the police his fake ID rather than his real one. So whomever the ID belongs to, you have a public intoxication charge in Lancaster county in Nebraska as of 10 years ago! And therefore, my friend was not charged with anything.
1. Of All The Items, Why The Basket?
I was arrested for shoplifting at the bargain shop. What makes it funny is the type of stuff that I was caught stealing. A few people love to laugh at the fact that I was caught stealing a wicker basket amongst other things like pens and mittens.
It was definitely not a proud moment but it was something I did and I learned from it. All I can do now is laugh about my mistakes.