People Reveal The Stupidest Fight They’ve Ever Had With Their Partner

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When it comes to tempers, everyone is different. Some tend to be a lot more patient and others could lose it at the snap of a twig. But there are times in relationships where both parties, no matter how understanding they are, can get angry for the simplest thing.

We’re talking about arguing over toothpaste, farting, yawning and a bunch of silly things that have led to breakups. People have cried sitting on the floor covered in noodles, went for walks at 4 am to cool down and stopped talking because of nacho chip sizes. If you’d like to read about some of the silliest arguments couples have ever had, just keep scrolling.

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40. Ignoring Him While Sleeping

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My ex-boyfriend got mad at me for “ignoring him while I was sleeping.” I was asleep and apparently rolled to the other side (facing away from him).

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Apparently, he was offended by that. He got so offended that he got up and left in the middle of the night. I was too comfy in my position to notice and he had to tell me about it the next morning. How weird is that?

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39. Sometimes You Just Need To Scream and Throw Stuff

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I walked in on him spooning another girl. Let’s just say that you don’t know your true crazy potential when you get that angry that fast. I’m not sure what I was thinking, but things went south pretty quickly.

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I remember smashing a ukelele I bought him into the floor when I was screaming at him and damn, was that a satisfying feeling.

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38. You Can’t Control Your Dreams

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At one point when we were dating, my ex-boyfriend got really mad at me when I wouldn’t say that I absolutely never ever dreamed about other men romantically while I was asleep. My rationale was that I don’t even remember most of my dreams, so maybe it happened.

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His rationale was that it was extremely hurtful to think of us cuddling together at night with me dreaming about someone else. He yelled at me and I stormed off in a huff.

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37. Earth Versus Moon

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Before smartphones, while driving for four hours, my then-husband argued with me that the moon was bigger than the Earth. 

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He was spitting fire, calling me names and hitting the steering wheel every time I laughed at his argument. For four hours. The instant we got home, he went on the internet to prove me wrong. Then suddenly, without a word, he was gone. He went to bed and never spoke of it again.

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36. Being Too Polite and Nice is a Bad Thing?

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My ex and I would always get into arguments because I wasn’t mean enough/yell at her enough/fight with her. This meant that I didn’t care about her and that “I’m too polite and nice.”

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She would then provoke me until we fought over nothing and was still clueless as to why I broke up with her. She had major daddy issues.

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35. Hate For No Reason

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Me and my husband had one of those weird relationships that people didn’t seem to get from the outside. We never fought. Quarreled? Bickered? Sure. But there were no big fights. No major arguments. Nothing.  In 10 years.

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Then, we had a baby. I hated him. I can’t even explain it now. People were quick to jump and say it was post-partum. I went to counseling, I was medicated and I never hated my baby. I never hated motherhood either. I hated HIM. We’re fine now because we went to counseling. I don’t know what happened now that I look back.

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34. He Was Too Preppy

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My S.O. picked me up for a date after I’d just finished an exhausting week of finals. About halfway to where we were going, I yawned. He slammed the brakes, turned the car around and said he was taking me home. I was confused and asked why. He said that he figured I was either bored or too tired to go. I told him I was really confused and that it was ok to yawn as long as you covered your mouth so as not to spread germs.

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He went on to lecture me that it is never acceptable, while on a date, to yawn or cough or sneeze and right in the middle of this, he yawns and then went into a sneezing fit. A snort of laughter escaped. Then he dumped me, stating that he was too preppy for me and that a lady would have never laughed at him. I didn’t argue but privately felt I’d dodged a major bullet.

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33. The Smallest Things Lead to the Biggest Fights

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My ex-girlfriend and I once got into a brutal argument that lasted for days over toothpaste. We were living together and grocery shopping for the week when I put a tube of toothpaste in our basket. She huffed, put it back on the shelf, and snapped that she hated how forgetful I could be because we already had toothpaste. I jokingly told her we were about to run out and maybe she’d know that if she wasn’t a middle-of-the-tube-squeezing animal. We nearly got into a screaming match at the supermarket over it.

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I should also add that although I was totally in the right during our argument, I messed up a couple of weeks later when I thought it had blown over and we could laugh about it. I bought a 12-tube value pack from Sam’s Club and hid it under our bathroom sink as a joke; I had to sleep on the couch for a few days.

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32. Chips And Dips

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The first fight I had with my wife happened when we were dating and it was over tortilla chips. We were eating chips and bean dip and she kept taking the biggest chips and then breaking them in half to dip them. I got mad because I like big chips too and there were already plenty of smaller chips in the bag. She argued that those smaller chips aren’t quite the right size and that the only way she could get a perfect size is by breaking the big ones.

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We argued for 20 minutes and then didn’t talk to each other for the rest of the night. In the end, we realized it was a ridiculous thing to fight about and agreed to disagree. Now we laugh about it whenever it comes up.

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31. “I Took Too Long To Say Things”

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I got so angry that I was simmering after my girlfriend started developing a pattern of not listening to me and interrupting me mid-sentence when I was responding to something she’d asked.

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When I pointed out that it was really getting frustrating and tried to get her to stop, she told me it was my fault because “I took too long to say things.” It was the only time I went to bed mad and had it actually carry over to the next day — and I will never do that again.

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30. The Basket Case

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One time, we argued about shopping baskets. We went to the supermarket to buy four things, according to him. So I said we didn’t need a shopping basket.

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In the end, we ended up buying more and he whined at me about the fact we did not get a shopping basket. It ended up with both of us getting mad at each other because of a basket. We still laugh about it today.

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29. The Name Game

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My ex-boyfriend and I had a pretty huge fight about what our child’s name would be. We were teenagers. We weren’t planning on having kids and I wasn’t pregnant, we were just talking like we’d be together forever like stupid kids do.

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But when I said I liked the name Nicolette for a girl, and he went off saying that’s the stupidest name ever, and boom, we were fighting. We didn’t talk for two days after that.

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28. Crying Over Coconut Milk

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I brought the wrong milk home. I got fortified coconut, but she wanted fortified coconut and almond. She thought it was insulting and embarrassing to return an item to a grocery store and I said, “So I’ll just do it.” She told me to quit raising my voice (she was the one yelling) and to go “take a break” like I was a child or something.

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A minute later, I realized I did indeed now need a walk because that comment flew me off the handle. This caused an apple to be thrown at my head.

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27. World Versus Universe

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We were laying on the grass, looking up at the stars when she turned to me and asked, “Am I the most beautiful woman in the world?” I say, “Of course! It goes without saying.” She then pushes her luck after looking at the sky for a bit and asks, “Am I the most beautiful woman in the universe?”

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I decided to tease a bit and say, “Well, that is a big universe out there.” She cried and cried. It was, in her words, the cruelest thing I’d ever said.

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26. I Threw the Curtains, Problem Solved!

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Curtains. We got in a fight about curtains which is just so stupid when you think about it. She loved these just really freaking terrible purple curtains and wanted to hang them in our rental, which had darkish yellow walls that we couldn’t repaint. It made the room look terrible and we constantly went back and forth.

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The next time she left the house, I took them down and that solved the problem. She just sort of accepted it. It’s for this reason that I believe that the curtains were somehow actually causing us to fight. I threw them in the trash and we got married a year later.

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25. Behind An Angry Woman Is a Man Who Has No Idea What He Did

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Early on in our relationship, he was trying to tell me about an online long distance relationship he once had, but he got his years mixed up and accidentally made it sound like he was actually still dating her the first few months of our relationship.

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He couldn’t figure out why I was upset, and I couldn’t figure out why he thought I wouldn’t be upset at finding out I was the other woman. It was a very awkward ten minutes. We discussed it and we figured out the miscommunication. In six years, that’s the closest we’ve gotten to a real fight.

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24. Junk Details

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I’m single now, but the one really bad fight I can remember is with an ex of mine. He was asking me questions about junk sizes that I’ve experienced and asked about the biggest one. He got mad when I said something about how really big junk genuinely hurts and isn’t what I prefer. I was about to shut down the topic and end it on a nice note.

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He literally got mad at hearing me say that large ones are painful. I guess his jealousy issues got the best of him and he got super duper mad and started screaming at me. He drove recklessly and almost hit a parked car. When I finally got out of the car, I was pretty scared. Needless to say, I dumped him and blocked him on everything.

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23. That Escalated Quickly

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For a while, every time my fiance farted on me, I would retaliate by licking his face because he hates it. So we got a little tipsy one night and he farted on me. I went to town all over this guy’s face- like chin to hairline licking. He. Was. Furious. We ended up standing on opposite sides of the kitchen, screaming at each other, saying things like, “I’ll stop farting when you stop licking me!” and “I’ll stop licking you when you stop farting!”

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He stormed out of the kitchen, and I started feeling remorseful, so I decided to make him a treat of spaghetti and meatballs from a can. I took the bowl out of the microwave and it was so hot that I dropped it. The bowl shattered, and there was spaghetti everywhere. My fiance walked in on me, sitting in a pile of noodles, weeping.

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22. He Lost My Trust

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I’m not really a fighter, but I’ve definitely been involved in some crappy situations. I’m one of those that just doesn’t want to fight; my ex was the opposite and he was also raised in a super strict military family- he had peeves that I did not have. The last fight we got into was about me not making the bed every day.

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I don’t know how it got to this point, but he literally threw a plate across the kitchen yelling about “consistency.” I remember just standing there and thinking ‘what the hell just happened?’ I went and stayed with a friend that night and he was very apologetic the next day, but it didn’t matter. He’d lost my trust.

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21. Who Loves Salty Fries, By The Way?

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Me and my boyfriend are both managers at McDonald’s (different locations though) and we are always fighting about procedures and other stupid things along those lines.

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I still think the worst one was that we were at his McDonald’s and I said, “Man, these fries taste salty.” He got up and screamed, “Well, we can’t all be perfect like at your work” and grabbed the fries and slammed them in the trash. I walked out and a screaming match ensued. It wasn’t a fun time.

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20. At Least it Didn’t End Badly

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It’s amazing to me how the littlest things can ruin your whole day. Last week, my boyfriend asked me to take Friday off so we could celebrate my birthday together over a long weekend. It was a sweet idea, sure, except that I didn’t want to take that day off. And when I hesitated to email my boss right then and there about it, as he demanded, he flipped out and said that if I couldn’t at least take a day off to spend more time with him, he’d find someone who would.

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I replied that if he was going to be a micro-managing control freak, I’d happily find someone else too—and that I’d find that other person way faster than he ever could. It went downhill from there and we got really nasty with each other. I ended up taking that Friday off—either because I’m a total freaking pushover or because I came to appreciate that he just wanted to be with me even if he was a jerk about it. Weirdly, it ended up being my best birthday ever.

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19. What Ended It All

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My ex-husband was getting ready for work one day when our dog had gotten a diaper out of the trash can and tore it up in front of the area of the bedroom where he kept all of this work things. He told me to go clean it up. I told him to do it himself. We fought to the point that I went outside for a smoke, and he locked me out of the house until he finished getting ready for work.

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When he let me back in, he told me, “I want you and your daughter (also his daughter) out of MY apartment before I get home.” It was the beginning of our 6-month divorce. It is hilarious to me now, all these years later, that after the horror that was our relationship, years of him cheating on me, fighting and throwing our money out the window that me refusing to clean up a diaper is what finally ended it all.

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18. His Ego

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I said something, he misunderstood and we were on a 12-hour fight. It was ridiculous; instead of just being willing to accept that there was a mistake, he just stewed in it and argued in circles. I apologized for the misunderstanding but apparently, that wasn’t good enough. I’d tell him what I actually meant, but that didn’t matter because his misinterpretation still hurt his ego.

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I had work the next morning, had to be up by 7 am and he’d still call and harass me. He even told me crap like, “If you hang up the phone, then we’re done. I’m done.” I hung up the phone and he called back 10 seconds later saying he would give me another chance.

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17. The Classic

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My girlfriend yelled at me so I wouldn’t miss a parking space, then I got mad and yelled at her for yelling at me. She then got even more upset because I yelled at her.

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I said, “I’m not yelling at you! Why are you yelling at me?!” and she answered, “Yes, you are yelling at me! I’m not yelling at you!” and it went on like that for quite some time.

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16. The Cabbage Fight

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We were at the store picking up some groceries one day when my girlfriend grabbed a big ‘ol head of cabbage. I said, “We still have a half-head of cabbage in the fridge.” She went freaking ballistic about how I never let her buy the foods she wanted to eat and how much she has to suffer because I don’t like the same things as her.

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She had a full-on meltdown in the produce section, and people were staring. My kids were mortified, they still refer to it as the “cabbage fight” and get really nervous anytime cabbage is brought up in a conversation. To this day, she thinks her outrage was justified and any mention of the incident will ruin the day. We now always have a ton of cabbage in the fridge.

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15. Lactose Intolerant or Fat

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A girl I dated was lactose intolerant. She would bite the bullet and still eat things like pizza. After the two of us ate one, she started feeling sick and said she didn’t understand why.

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I asked, “Maybe it’s all that pizza you just ate?” and her response was, “Are you calling me fat?” I said, “I’m calling you lactose intolerant.” She then answered, “Screw you, you are calling me fat!” She didn’t talk to me for three days after that, and we lived together.

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14. The Health of the Country and their Relationship

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I don’t think there was one particular fight, but the worst ones always had a theme that showed how he had no concept of money and how fortunate he was. I was eating breakfast with him and I was watching something on the news about healthcare. I just wanted to start a conversation about what he thought about the current state of medical insurance. He told me he didn’t care about that stuff and it just depressed him. I was just like okay.

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He then got upset at me for being quiet and said I always got upset at him and proceeded to start an argument in public. I was so mad because I was only trying to make conversation. I think that fight lasted for a whole day with him just stonewalling me and then somehow telling me I was the issue.

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13. The Wedding Terminator Almost

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A week or so before our wedding, my wife made some flippant comment about how Schwarzenegger is a horrible human being and she hated him- literally hated him.

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We got into a “well screw you, I’m not marrying you!” argument that lasted three days because I simply couldn’t fathom hating someone so deeply that she hadn’t ever met. Even though I myself hate many people, I’ve never seen such loathing. It was stupid as hell, and she still brings it up nine years later, every now and again. But she does it really slyly- like, on the way to go pick up our daughter at school she says, “I’ll be back” in the slightest impression of Arnold.

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12. Getting Tick-ed Off

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This was such a stupid fight that I can’t believe it even happened. My boyfriend and I were hiking and I ended up getting a tick on my leg and since I’m paranoid about Lyme Disease, I kind of freaked out. It shouldn’t have been a huge deal but my boyfriend at that time yelled at me to stop talking about ticks.

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It wasn’t just him bossing me to be quiet that bothered me; it was the way he said it; he had this evil tone in his voice and he looked at me like he wanted to break something. Our hike was ruined and we’re not together anymore.

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11. The Evil Oreos

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My wife got pissed at me because, during the course of my day off, I ate two of the three rows of Oreos from the package. There was still a whole roll for her, but I guess that wasn’t good enough.

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I didn’t help matters when I pointed out that if she was going to buy double stuffed, that she ought to buy at least two packages. Those freaking Oreos. So good. So evil.

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10. Old Enough or Too Old

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My boyfriend and I were driving down the street and saw a person with a backpack walking on the sidewalk. It was just a regular guy, there was nothing special about him.

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I don’t even remember how it came up, but we had the stupidest argument about whether or not we thought the person was old enough or too old to be in high school. I’m so ashamed.

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9. Who Ate Which Cookie?

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My current SO and I went to Subway to get some dinner. We ordered our food and naturally, we each got cookies. I got white chocolate macadamia and peanut butter and she got a chocolate chip and double chocolate chip. I messed up by saying to put them in the same bag and heat them up. I paid and we went to my car. That was when she noticed that the cookies had almost melted together. She was trying to get mine unstuck when I asked for the bag, grabbed one piece and instantly devoured it. I gave her the bag back and she got angry and yelled at me that I ate her cookie. I then realized that it did taste rather chocolaty.

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I apologized and apologized but she wouldn’t have it. The whole time this argument was happening, my friend was in the back seat and started dying of laughter because we were arguing over who ate which cookie. I didn’t win that fight.

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8. “You Ate One of My Chips!”

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One time, my girlfriend and I went out for dinner at SuperMac’s when she suddenly screamed, “How dare you?!!” I said, “What do you want, I’m trying to eat woman.” She said, “You ate one of my chips!” So I sarcastically said, “Give me more!!”

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She then started telling me to stop screaming because I was making a scene so I picked up a tray and banged it on my head saying, “Oh, is this a scene Ciara? Is this a scene?” We went outside and she slapped me before going home. We didn’t talk for a week until I won her heart back by making a video of me playing Just Dance and looking like an idiot.

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7. Time Apart Can Work Wonders

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I can’t remember what it was about, but I think it might have been intimacy related. My S.O. was depressed at that time — had been for over a year — and the discussion exploded before we knew what was happening. He was so cruel and callous that I barely recognized him. I became so angry and hurt by the things he said that I went for a walk when he didn’t respond to me. I’ve never been that angry and hurt before, to the level that I would take a walk to cool off at 4 a.m.

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When we woke up the next morning, he packed his things. He told me that what he was going through is hurting both of us and that he needed time and space to sort himself out. We ended up separating for about six months. He’s better now.

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6. When You’re Vegan and He’s Not

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I’m a vegan and my boyfriend is not. That should be enough for you to know where this is going. His family had a tradition of grilling out twice a week when it was warm out and while I like grilling too, I just didn’t like grilling veggies close to his meat. It just made me feel gross, but he didn’t get it.

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It took me a month to convince him that doing grilled vegetables wouldn’t cause his entire family history to crumble and disappear. To his credit, he did come around and he gets it now, but wow was he stubborn.

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5. With The Sound Of …

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On a road trip, my ex sang, “and the hills are alive with the sound of …” and then looked to me to continue. I had no idea what she is singing at the time- I later found out that it’s from the Sound of Music; apparently “the hills are alive with the sound of music” is what I was supposed to say.

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Instead, I see some cows as we’re driving, so that’s what I say, “the hills are alive with the sound of cows.” My ex got really angry because somehow she thought I was saying she sounded like a cow.

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4. Why The Heck Are We Arguing?

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I forgot to buy toilet paper once. That was it. The store wasn’t closed and it wasn’t impossible to just go out and buy more. Nope, I just forgot to pick some up on the way home from work after my wife had reminded me to.

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Arguments about ‘why the heck are we arguing’ are the worst kind because they last forever and are basically impossible to resolve without both people just going “okay, that was stupid” and letting it go.

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3. Arguments About Everything

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My ex used to pick fights over my tone of voice, not texting her enough during the day, me breaking up with her in her dreams, if I was too busy to help her with her homework, and if I ever wanted to hang out with my friends.

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And it happened even if it was once a month that I wanted to go out with them. These arguments occurred at least 2-3 times a month.

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2. The Problem is Related to Being a “Woman”

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My ex and I always got into an argument because he’d constantly try to explain women’s issues as something else. He thinks he’s trying to make me feel better by telling me that “it happens to everyone,” and sometimes, I think he tries to make it seem like those problems aren’t real or related to being a woman.

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I often tell him that I don’t feel like he’s actively interested in fighting against those issues at my side and he gets upset because he thinks that everything he has to say about it is wrong. He then feels like he has to keep his mouth shut and demands that I tell him exactly what I expect him to say and do the next time, which IS NOT HOW IT WORKS.

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1. How You Look It At

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My ex-girlfriend and I got into a fight over which direction the arrow on the “FedEx” truck points to. You know, the one you see driving down your street five days a week.

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I said back, and she said the front. It turns out we were both right, because it depended on which side of the truck you’re looking at. It was the silliest argument we’ve ever had.

Kat Begonja

Kat Begonja

Lover of animals, writing and all things Croatian!