Some people take their secrets to the grave. Unfortunately, that’s not always an option because their secrets are outed either by them, their actions, or other people. And it happens all the time in relationships. In this article, we’ll show you a series of stories which show that not just because you think you’re hiding something well, means that your partner doesn’t know. These are some of the worst, funniest and most embarrassing secrets people think their significant others don’t know.
44. With the Boss
I know that my girlfriend hooked up with my boss before we knew each other and before I had been hired into the company.
I’m not mad about it or anything; everyone has a past. But she carefully dances around ever coming into my work now and I’m careful not to bring him up.
43. The Parrot Told Me
This is in the past, but still a good one. I ended up finding out that my (now ex) girlfriend was cheating on me after hearing one of my parrots pick up, “Oh, God, yes, Jim!”
And it was in a rather scratchy, sensual voice. It turns out they’d been hooking where I keep him while I went to work. I dumped her the next time I saw her.
42. Things My Ex Did
I was in a relationship with a pretty weird guy, who I did not know was strange until I found a few things. I found videos of my ex bending over and twerking, in my underwear. I never told him.
He also played with himself and released it all on me when I was sleeping. But I wasn’t sleeping- I sure as heck wasn’t going to “wake up” and make that situation any more awkward.
41. The Affair
I knew about his affair. I knew for three weeks before he left (to look after his allegedly sick dad) and for two weeks after that, before I told him, I knew. He said last week he ended it and saw what he has missed, but I know he’s still sleeping and living with her while messaging me. I was his wife and we were together 12 years, but he just couldn’t stop lying. He may be genuinely remorseful right now, but I can’t get past his deceit.
I found out in December when he started acting strange; he was cruel and miserable throughout and nearly ruined Christmas for the kids. I suggested he go visit his “sick dad” in NY and slammed the door right behind him. I took time off work (I was the main earner then) and rearranged my life to take care of the kids and get a job with flexible hours. I’m happier and the kids are doing well. He’s the one struggling now.
40. Her Freaky Past
She was a hooker, was in some adult films and had worked as an exotic dancer when she was young and hungry. She doesn’t think I know and she doesn’t know I don’t care. I’ll never tell.
Years ago, a now-deceased friend of my SO, someone who’d been in “the life” too, told me and showed me proof. The person I fell in love with was/is the sum total of their life preceding. It’s okay by me if people (in part or entirely) choose to reinvent themselves as they see fit.
39. Into the Port-A-Potty
My wife dropped my iPhone in a Port-A-Potty toilet. Luckily, it had been so used that there was a large pile of poo, which gently held the phone above the liquid. So she cleaned it off and gave it back to me.
A year later, I upgraded and gave her my old phone. She insisted on purchasing a new cover even though I had a high-end OtterBox. I never understood why until one of the kids told on her.
38. The First Fart
The first time my SO and I slept together, I woke up during the night to use the bathroom. I came back in the room and she farted one of the loudest farts I’ve ever heard.
I started laughing like crazy and she almost woke up. Almost. We’ve been together for seven years now and I haven’t told her. She’ll just be way too embarrassed.
37. She Pooped Herself
A girl I dated a few years back had just graduated with her bachelors, so I took her out for a night on the town. She and our friends got absolutely demolished and since this was before Uber, I volunteered to be the designated driver. She got hungry and ate somewhere around eight burgers. I got her home, got her into her bed and she immediately passed out. I was sitting next to her, watching some TV, when I smelled something. She had pooped herself.
She was one of those people who would be so ashamed of herself if anyone found out, so I just left. I called her the next day and told her I dropped her off, got her some water and headed home. I never mentioned her pooing herself or anything, so to this day, she thinks she did it in her sleep after I left. I could have stayed and helped her clean it up and I probably should have, but she would have cried over that and avoided me sporadically for weeks.
36. Going to a Fake School
He thinks I don’t know that he messed up his university entrance paperwork; he didn’t send his student loan application in on time, all that kind of admin stuff.
He’s been going to non-existent lectures for over a month now. I’d call him out on it, but this is the most time he’s spent out of the house in years; it’s nice to have some peace and quiet.
35. No Words
My significant other and I have never actually been properly intimate and we have been together for over a decade. He uses an adult toy. I always thought he was just terrible in bed, but I don’t have a high libido, so it didn’t really bother me. He always made excuses to avoid me going down on him, and to this day, has never been fully naked in my presence unless there was no light at all; we literally have to have blackout curtains. I have come to the conclusion he is a well below average size, based on me finding the toy.
It appears to have been modified to allow him to squeeze his junk into the base of it. It looks like it must be incredibly uncomfortable. The cut-out portion is about the size of a lipstick tube. I don’t know where he keeps the toy anymore, but he is really not subtle about being in bed with me; there’s no mention of intimacy, then he all of a sudden heads downstairs for a minute, and then comes upstairs with a stiff member attached and wants to jump straight to penetration with nothing before. It is painful to me that he would keep this secret for so long, and I really wouldn’t even have the first clue how to bring it up to him. Financially, I cannot afford to leave him, and so I just ignore it and try and avoid him sticking that thing in me. I don’t know where it is and so, don’t even know if it is being cleaned at all.
34. Tricked Pregnancy
I know that she was actually not on birth control when we met, despite promises and proof to the contrary. She used me purely to get pregnant. I later stumbled across a text exchange between her and her sister that she’d finally found the guy she wanted to give her a baby, based on looks, education, etc. but did not want a relationship.
She admitted that she was going to lie about birth control. When it happened, I thought her conceiving just put us in the one-percent fail rate. Now, seven years later, we’re very happily married with a second amazing child and I don’t think there’s any reason to bring it up if she doesn’t.
33. The Secret Formula
I know her Caesar salad dressing formula. It’s actually the best thing ever, but even after two years, she refuses to tell me what’s in it.
What she doesn’t know is that I have secretly been watching her make it over the past few months. I have finally pieced it together and now, I have the power!!
32. “A Good Situation”
I know that she started dating me because my parents had a lot of money and because I was following the path to also have a lot of money.
I saw her group chat with her mom, sisters and aunt about what a good situation she’s in and how she’ll never have to work, and that even if things go south, she just had to stick around until my parents aren’t around anymore. I’m only with her until I finish school because I don’t want to be alone at this point in my life.
31. The James Bond of Bed-Pooping
I am not sure what events led up to it, but my boyfriend pooped the bed. I’m guessing he trusted a fart he shouldn’t have, but it happened. He didn’t hide it very well, he just put the sheets in the washing machine, but didn’t start it, so I smelled it.
He claims the dog sharted, but the boxers he attempted to hide, pretty haphazardly I might add, in the trash, tell a different story. I have attempted to bring it up, but I don’t want to break the illusion he has of himself being the James Bond of bed-pooping.
He doesn’t know I know this, but my husband has been talking to different divorce lawyers. I think he’s lawyer shopping to get out as smoothly as possible.
I guess he’s had enough of my crazy bipolar shenanigans. Nine Inch Nails said it best, “Everyone I know goes away in the end.” Even a 10-year marriage can’t withstand mental illness.
29. Her Horrible Smoking Habit
She smokes when I’m not home. I know this because I always move the router to the window where the signal’s best, but when I come home, the router is in a different position away from the window.
I put it back without her knowing and called her out for smoking; she has no idea how I keep finding out and I’m not about to tell her either.
28. Just About Everything
He lied about his last name, age, degree, being in the military and being a sex offender. I only figured out the lie about the degree and broke it off. Then he started stalking me and I figured out everything else.
I don’t know if he figured out that I know everything else. We live in a relatively small town and a girl was about to meet up with him, so I warned her. He is still lying about his age. You’re not 29 Charlie, you’re 42 and screw you!
27. I Know Who You Were in High School
My current girlfriend of three years was part of a group in high school that used to mercilessly bully me when I was overweight. She was never directly involved, but she would make heinous suggestions on what to do with the unpopular kids they would pick on. I am 100% sure she knows who I am and I found out a year ago that she was part of that group when I was switching out phones for our new mobile plan.
Every time she goes out, I can’t help but think she was plotting to do something to me with her friends (yes, she is still involved with the same group of friends). I want to bring it up, but I know the response will be something similar to, “Hey, it was a long time ago, I changed.” I still have confidence issues and social issues accumulated from that group, so that answer will be extremely unsatisfying for me- I don’t know what to do.
26. Just Trying to Love Her
I know that my girlfriend is still in love with her ex-boyfriend. It’s lowkey killing our relationship slowly. He treats her like crap when they do interact, but she forgives him every time.
\Meanwhile, I’m just over here trying to love her, and slowly realizing how futile it is. I know it’s useless to be with her, but she holds my heart. What else could I do?
25. What Went On with the Toilet…
We were long distance when we first started dating. One time, she came up to where I lived for four days, but I had to work during one of the days. When I was gone, she had to take a dump and clogged the toilet. She couldn’t get it to plunge and was freaking out, so she went to the kitchen and got a fork and a plastic bag and dug the turds out of the bowl and threw everything in the dumpster outside.
She called her friend panicking and the friend thought it was hilarious. The friend told me about it one night when the girl had left the room after we moved in together. I find it funny but don’t want to embarrass her!
24. Destroyed Two Relationships
My then-girlfriend broke up a marriage after being invited into it by the guy for what was supposed to be a threesome. It turned out the guy was lying and his wife didn’t want a threesome in the slightest. My girlfriend fell for him though, and she and he had a romantic relationship in secret for months until his wife found out.
She was 21 at the time and we had been together for seven years. I found out when she left her Facebook signed in and curiosity got the better of me; I scrolled through her old messages and saw what happened.
23. Family Secrets
This one takes some backstory. My wife’s sister and my older brother have been good friends forever, way before her and I started dating. About 15 years ago, my brother and his girlfriend got pregnant with a son, who they put up for adoption and my wife’s family ended up taking him.
My brother never told anyone in our family about it and made my wife’s family swear to secrecy. I found out after finding a box of paperwork and old pictures a few years ago while helping them move. My 15-year-old brother-in-law is actually my genetic nephew, and no one knows I know. My wife has never spoken a word about it.
22. The Actual Number
I know that my wife slept with my best friend over a dozen times, instead of the one she admitted to because I cornered her with evidence. Like a jaded cop waiting on his pension, I’ll leave her when the house sells and I get my cut.
I’ll be the picture-perfect fantasy she thinks she deserves, and leave her in her time of need like she did to me. Revenge is bittersweet, and unfortunately for her, it’ll be bitter for a while.
21. The Made-Up Friends
My ex-girlfriend made up a person and spoke to me as them. We met when we were quite young and were both pretty weird. I put it down to insecurity and wanting to look like she had cool friends (I was a little older). I never let on that I knew because it would have been super embarrassing for her and this was literally the start of the relationship.
She made up quite a few stories about this guy and I got a few emails from ‘him.’ She didn’t realize that changing the name of the account didn’t actually change the address, which was fully visible.
20. The Secret Ongoing Felony
This is about my ex. He and his ex-wife were legally divorced a few years back according to the state, but he never filed the paperwork with the Army.
He’s still collecting the ‘married’ pay and she still collects dependent benefits to this day. If I was an evil person, I would report them both to the law.
19. She Was the Real Criminal
My significant other moved out a couple of months ago because I threw her 22-year-old son out for doing deals in front of the house, doing the hard stuff at the house and stealing from us.
She appeared to be really annoyed when it happened, but I was the one who was truly shocked; I found out that she was having her son do the runs for her.
18. The Video
While moving a video I took with my boyfriend’s phone to my computer, I found a video he took of my best friend showering- my male best friend. I was too paranoid about bringing it up to either of them, and it’s been around five years since I saw it.
At first, I was very hurt, but now I don’t really care as long as it was consensual when taken; unfortunately, I’ll never know that unless I ask.
17. The Secret Supporter
Back when I was first starting to make my artwork public, I had a kickstarter campaign to fund a tour. I had just started dating my significant other, but he gave a relatively significant amount of money anonymously.
He tripped up in selecting his “backer’s reward”- an original piece mailed to his house. When I saw the address, I definitely didn’t suspect his roommates were just super supportive of my art.
16. The Netflix Reveal
My ex and her cheating. She thinks I found out when I looked at her phone, but I knew about two months earlier when she sent me a pic of herself watching Netflix in bed.
I don’t think she realized that the guy’s face was 100% visible in the reflection of the laptop. After that, it was a matter of me being in denial and trying to fix things.
15. Sleep Time Revelations
When my husband is about to fall asleep, he’s completely honest. We were about seven months in when he grabbed me and whispered into my ear, “You’re gonna be the mother of my children.”
I told him and he was thoroughly embarrassed and apologized. However, I neglected to tell him that pretty much every night, he would tell me that he loved me, starting a month in. I don’t mind and I’m not trying to rush things; neither of us has any plans to jump into that sort of stuff right away, but it’s nice to know.
14. They Thought I Was A What?!!!
When I told my neighbor I was divorcing my husband and moving, she said she saw him with many females for years. When she confronted him- He told her it was okay because we were swingers.
I felt so hurt when I heard this from her and that she believed his lie. It made me believe that all of the neighbors must have believed that too. It was no wonder they stayed away from us/me. I never told him, even during the divorce process. He was a jerk!
13. Pretends to Hate Cuddles
My boyfriend always said he hates to cuddle at night because it gets hot/ it’s uncomfortable/I hog the blankets/etc. However, when he thinks I’m asleep, he’ll scoot over and wrap his body around mine.
If I even make a move like I’m awake, he’ll run back to his side and pretend it never happened. I think it’s freaking adorable.
12. Rewatching for Fun
My girlfriend thinks I don’t know she watched ahead on the Netflix series we were watching together, but I do.
I don’t even like the show TBH, but I keep watching because it’s hilarious having her pretend she hasn’t seen it before.
11. A Sad Secret
I’m pretty sure I’m the second choice. My guy admitted to me that he had feelings for another girl but “chose” to be with me instead.
He’s hardcore settling because the other girl doesn’t care. I’m trying to win him over, but I’m never gonna be his number one girl.
10. Dude, She Totally Knows
Despite promising he stopped doing it, I knew that my boyfriend at the time continued to flirt, send inappropriate pictures to other girls, and digitally cheated on me.
He didn’t know I knew, but I did, and he was for sure shocked and appalled when I broke up with him over it.
9. Not That Original
Once, on a date with my ex, I complimented her necklace, which was a doll’s eye on a chain. Doll’s eyes “blink” when tilted, which was cool and she immediately said, “Oh thanks, I made it myself!” and talked about how she did it. But I’d already seen that same necklace at a store she shops at.
Also, she would sometimes say really beautiful things that were actually quotes from books. On one instance, I was reading a book about a year after we broke up and went, “huh…I’ve heard this before…”
8. Secret Checkups
Sometimes I’ll forget to text her when I get home late at night, and maybe my phone is dead in the morning, or I forgot to respond to her “good morning” text. Anyways, the next day, she’ll surprise me by showing up to my door and bringing me food, or wanting some “spontaneous sexy time.”
She’s really just worried that I died in a car accident or got kidnapped on the way home. But I’ll never tell her I see through it, because it’s cute, and I really enjoy the surprise lovemaking and Philly cheesesteaks at noon on Sundays.
7. She Kept Denying It
My girlfriend told me she had never slept with a mutual friend of mine- the fact that she deliberately brought this up at a completely RANDOM time was suspicious enough. I then saw a Facebook message from him one day because she was logged in on my phone. It said, “Remember when we did things, more than just things friends do? Was I good?”
She has no idea. I wouldn’t care except for the fact that she, out of nowhere, told me she had never done anything sexual with him. Why lie when I, one, wouldn’t even be upset, and two, never asked about it or brought it up.
6. Her Scarred Past But Not Future
My wife wouldn’t let me touch her head. While we were dating, she wouldn’t let me touch her head or play with her hair. For the longest time, she avoided it. Her mom asked if I knew about her condition and I said no. She told me I might find out one day. Anyway, she (my gf/wife) invited me to stay the night one night, and of course, I was all about it. As we were lying on the bed, I pulled her to me and ran my fingers through her hair. She didn’t fight and didn’t say anything, but I could feel her scars, and how her skull had healed.
I felt her tears rolling down my forearm, so I told her no matter the scar, I was never going to let her go; I swore at that moment I would take care of her for the rest of my life. We dated about for about six months, and have been married for ten years. Brain surgery and seizures never stop me from being the best man and friend I can be for her.
5. The Upcoming Break-Up
Do you know how sometimes people’s messages show a preview to the entire thing on a cell phone? Well, that’s how I found out my relationship is going to end.
Apparently, my girlfriend is breaking up with me tomorrow and is going to ask me to sit down and talk. While I am surprised, I can’t say I didn’t see it coming.
4. The Plan
I opened the glove box of my husband’s car (he knew I was driving it) looking for some spare sunglasses and found a referral written by his go to a psychiatrist mentioning a suicide plan my husband had made. He is being treated for depression; I was the one who had pushed him to that GP visit because I knew he wasn’t doing as well as he had been. Still, it came as a huge shock. I feel so sick and sad about it.
The GP encouraged him to share with me, but he hasn’t. I’ve tried to initiate discussions where the subject might come up (I have a history of depression and have made attempts in the past 10+ years ago), but no, he tells me, he has never thought of doing anything like that. We have very young children and he is very much loved by them and me. He is doing better a few weeks later; he has made some positive life changes, but still, that fear and sadness make it hard to let him out of my sight every day.
3. The Lying and Stealing
My (soon to be) ex-wife met another guy about a year and a half ago. She was so bad at hiding it that I thought she WANTED to get caught; she was posting romantic stuff on her Instagram when we hadn’t been romantic in a long time.
I confronted her, and she lied even with solid evidence. A few months later, stuff started disappearing from the house- it was pretty obvious that she was moving out. Then we started to have no money every month (and I have a pretty okay job). I realized she was stealing money basically by paying her bills twice a month with 3-4x the minimum payment and not paying mine.
2. The Frozen Crouton
Everybody likes snacks, right? Some of us like chips, others like fruit, or yogurt. Well, my wife likes croutons. Frozen croutons to be exact, and she tries to hide it. Where does she hide the croutons? In the freezer. At first, I’d put them in the pantry when we get home from the grocery store, but they’d always end up in the freezer.
I’d be like, “Uh, hon, what’s up with the croutons in the freezer?” and she’d act like she had no idea what I was talking about. Now here’s the thing, I’ve tried them and now I’m addicted to them too. So now I openly eat cold croutons out of the freezer as a snack, and she tells me what a weirdo I am while she eats half the bag with me. No idea why she’s embarrassed to admit what a genius she is for discovering such an awesome snack.
1. The Hospital Admission
When we were in the hospital for some weird pain that I had, and the doctors thought it might be cancer, I lost it a bit. She was so brave for me, but when her mother called, she went into the bathroom to talk, but she didn’t know that the sound echoed pretty loudly into the room. I heard her break down, sobbing, telling her mom she didn’t know how we were going to pay for treatment and that it looked really bad. I’ll never tell her I heard her, but god it was heartbreaking.
When she came out, you would never know she was even upset; she hid it so well. She sat right down and told me everything was going to be fine with such determination and such certainty. She literally took out her computer then and there and started making a spreadsheet of our finances to fit in cancer. I knew how much she loved me at that moment and how important it was for her that she was brave for me. I don’t know why, but I got so calm after that; I haven’t broken down like that since, even with worse news. I guess she makes me strong, god, I love her.