We all love getting free stuff but some people go to pretty insane lengths and act like complete jerks just to save a few dollars.
For example, some people lie about having cancer just to get better seats at a concert; others pour iced tea into Ziploc bags at restaurants and then try to take the bags home; and many ask for new food or their money back at a restaurant–after they’ve eaten most or all of the meal that was supposedly so terrible.
Read these stories and more below!
45. Her “Last Wish”
I bought tickets to a Lady Gaga concert and brought who I thought was a friend. She wasn’t impressed with the location of the seats and for the entire show, she was trying to convince security at stage level checkpoints that she had cancer and was dying and her last wish was to get up close to Lady Gaga. It didn’t work.
We don’t speak now, and I was angry at the time because she was so wasted I missed the show I paid for to try to keep her out of jail or being thrown out because she was my ride home. She was supposed to be my designated driver, but with all the antics, I didn’t drink and just drove her home afterward!
44. You Better Try This One
One of my friends has always been stingy. He’s always trying to make money by scamming or reselling stuff at a profit, and he won’t buy something unless it’s cheap. He’s also obsessed with getting free stuff, especially free money. A few years ago he realized that if you call Amazon and complain that you lost a gift card, sometimes they’ll give you a free $50 gift card. He also realized that when you make an Amazon Prime account you get a free $50 gift card and that you can transfer to another account.
He decided that this would be a great way to spend his summer, so he started making Amazon accounts, transferring the free gift cards to his main account, calling Amazon and fake crying over voice and video chat in order to get another $50 gift card, and then transferring that additional gift card to his main account and canceling the subscription to Amazon Prime. He did this for about a month and now he’s got about $4,000 in Amazon gift cards that he has never used.
43. Oh Well, Someone’s Going To Hell!
A few years ago, I had a plane ticket that I needed to reschedule because I wasn’t going to be flying to a conference any longer. I called and gave them the excuse that my “uncle had died,” and to my immediate relief, they canceled and gave me a refund. Right after, the agent said: “Before you hang up, can I please have the name of the funeral home and the priest performing the eulogy?” I sheepishly agreed to call them back, while panicking inside.
I looked up an obituary online, called a local funeral home and said I’m the brother of the deceased, and asked who would be officiating the funeral. They transferred me to the funeral director who asked me who I was about three times and then finally gave me the name. I hung up, called the agent back, gave him the information, and never heard from them again. I may burn for this, but at least I didn’t get charged for a rescheduled ticket.
42. Something’s Peachy
When I was a kid, we had a big beautiful peach tree in my back yard. It produced hundreds of peaches every summer. One of the peach-laden branches hung way over the top of our neighbor’s tall wooden fence. One day, my dad figured that it was probably making a big mess dropping peaches all over the guy’s yard, and peach pits in the grass are a deadly menace when you’re mowing your lawn, so he cut the branch. That night the neighbor, who we never met or even saw, knocked angrily on our door demanding to know why we would do something so mean.
Turns out, the guy was gorging on all the peaches he could reach (found out he was even using a stepladder) and pretty much depended on them. He actually demanded compensation for this lost food-source, never mind that it wasn’t even his tree and my dad never intended to piss the guy off. As far as Mr. Free Peach Eater was concerned, the branch was hanging over his property, so it belonged to him. My dad diffused the situation by explaining that the tree produced way more fruit than we could ever use, and he was welcome to come over for all the peaches he could carry every summer. The kid me thought he was a cheap thieving jerk that didn’t deserve any free peaches and that my dad was a pushover.
41. At Least You’ve Got Some Balls
When I was in the Army, I received orders to attend a training course for six months. One day, we had a guest lecturer come in. She was tossing out free stress balls that looked like globes to people who answered a certain number of questions correctly. I’m not sure why, but it got my blood going. I was going to get one of those balls.
What followed was a fairly intense competition between myself and two other soldiers attending the course, with all of us vying to get more correct answers than the others. And, in the end, I got my squishy globe. I held the thing in my hands for a couple of seconds before it suddenly dawned on me that I was a 25-year-old man who had acted like a complete idiot for the honor of owning a thirty-cent toy.
40. Bottomless Morning Coffees
At the bank I used to work at, we had a Keurig machine in the lobby for our customers. And man, did we keep that thing nicely stocked! We had a huge variety of different strength roasts, flavored varieties, and even teas and hot chocolates. We also had every sugar and sugar substitute under the sun, as well as a variety of flavored creamers. In short, our coffee game was strong. It wasn’t unusual for some customers to take some extra packets of sugar, or a couple of containers of creamers, or even the real jerky ones some K-Cups to use at home. But the worse had to be the witch of a woman who would come in every morning, make herself a cup of coffee, then walk out. Zero transactions to complete, zero banking business needed, just there for her morning cup of joe. What’s even worse is that SHE WASN’T EVEN OUR CUSTOMER ANYMORE. Yes, this woman closed all her accounts with us, yet still came in for her daily coffee.
When I learned this fact from my manager, I was outraged, but she wouldn’t let me say anything to this lady. While it’s not my money she’s wasting, this was still coming from the same company who denied overtime pay from me because I was “working at two different branches and not at the same place,” wouldn’t let me have $25 to go with each branch out for a Christmas dinner (the max amount they would pay per employee regardless of status, yet because I was one person I had to split it $12.50 per branch and pay the rest out of pocket for dinner), and oh, gave me a cheap plastic pen for my one year anniversary.
39. The Story Twister
I worked with a guy who didn’t pay his cable bill, and he spent an entire day on the phone with their customer service trying to confuse them and play each representative against one another until they wrote off his unpaid bill as an error on their part. I was at his house when he did this, watching movies with his roommate. The guy was taking notes, carefully monitoring what he said to each rep and what they said to him, and being mindful to twist everything just enough not to get caught lying. He said the trick was to not do it every month or they’d catch on. He seriously spent the whole day on it.
We pretty much watched the whole extended cut Lord of the Rings trilogy in the meantime. I’m pretty sure that the time and effort could have just gone to paying the bill. It was over a decade ago. I’m sure the bill was only like $100.
38. You Sure You Have No Money?
I worked in a Subway and an evil woman came in one day. It was busy and she took forever to order asking a million questions and complaining about everything while an entire line is behind her. She gets to pay but, “Oh, I don’t have enough money for that.” The nice old man behind her offers to pay for food sincerely and she thanks him. She goes to sit down, then gets up, complains to us while there is still a busy line about wanting to turn the ceiling fans off (never been off the three years I worked there).
To finally kick it off, she gets back up before leaving, orders two more footlongs and pays for it no problem with the same wallet she said she had no money in. We were all shocked at this evil woman.
37. One Wrong Move
I was a movie theater ticket ripper/doorman. I once had a guy who tried to walk past me without stopping. I called him back, he shook his head no and waved his hand and tried to keep walking. I raised my voice and pointed at the ground in front of me. He was all smiles and came over saying his girlfriend had his ticket and was already in the theater. I told him to text her to come out and to have a seat while he waited. He said he didn’t have his phone. I told him she would come out when he never showed up. So he was sulking on this chair next to me. Trying to talk his way out of my sight. The second I had to help someone else, he vanished from the chair but the jerk was so dumb that he STOPPED TO BUY POPCORN as I stared at him.
So I went over (he seemed surprised I had functioning legs) and I said he could eat his popcorn on the chair then. More sulking. I radioed coworkers to give them the heads up. I turned away for a second, then saw him jogging towards the theaters. My manager managed to get him out of the theater (no girlfriend there after all). He was all smiles saying he would go look for her and we waved bye. The tickets were $7. He spent about 30 minutes doing this.
36. Don’t Pooh-Pooh A Dime
My grandfather used to own a small grocery store back in the ’50s. In the store was a payphone where you could make a call for a dime.
As my grandfather told it, there were quite a few people who would file down pennies to the size of a dime so they could save nine cents on a phone call. My grandmother always used to say: “Filing down a penny is hard work. In the time it takes to do it, you could have gone out and earned a dime.”
35. One Of The Reasons Why Six Flags Is Struggling
When I was younger, I found a loophole that would save my friends and me a few hundred dollars. I grew up 10 minutes away from Six Flags Great America. I was lucky enough for my family to buy season passes. With that, you also got a cool coupon book. In there, there were tickets for “bring a friend along the free day.” On certain days you can bring one friend with a season pass holder. What I would do is bring five friends. First I went in with one friend. So now we had two people on the inside. You walked around a little bit to not look too suspicious. Then you went straight to the exit. At the exit, they asked you if you wanted your hand stamped so you could get back in. Both of us said yes. They stamped our hands with this invisible ink that glows under a blacklight. From there you hightailed it to your other four friends who had been waiting around the corner. The two with the fresh stamps breathed a bit on your hands to make the ink a little bit wetter. Then you carefully pressed and roll your stamp onto another person’s hand. If you did it correctly and quickly, a fresh stamp could be copied onto another person’s hand twice. So two people with fresh stamps could become six people with stamps.
Of course, the copied stamps were mirror images, but no one noticed it any of the times I did this when we walked in. Even if you didn’t get a complete perfect copy they would let you in because the stampers make mistakes sometimes and sometimes the stamps rubbed off a bit. It was a great way to save a few hundred dollars.
34. “I Know The Manager!”
I had an upper-class elderly woman who’d come in every so often with other upper-class elderly women. She’d always order one french press and they’d share it. I was working alone one day when she brought her friend over and said, “Tommy (the owner) told me that because I bring so much business and new customers to the shop that I could start coming here for free.” She gets food this time.
I had a shift with Tommy two days later and mentioned it to him. He had not, in fact, given this woman free reign to order. I don’t know if she was feeling especially dishonest that day or if the woman she brought was her rival sister and she wanted to look impressive. Do you know what impresses me? People who pay for their freaking food. I didn’t get in trouble or anything. Tommy was a good mix of disgusted and impressed with her balls and said he’d handle it the next time she came in.
33. Drink All You Can!
Oh, let me tell you about the Snowbirds. These are geriatric vacationers from Canada/Minnesota/Wisconsin that come to Florida during the winter for their vacation. They are the cheapest humans on the planet. I have enough stories to write a book; let me share a couple of my favorites: A server came over to me and mentioned that the lady at table 47 was on her second glass of iced tea, and the appetizers weren’t even ready. I replied: “So what, she’s probably thirsty.” A few minutes later the server came back and informed me the lady had a gallon Ziploc plastic baggie in her purse and she’s pouring her iced tea in there, saving it to take home later.
Another time: One morning, an old couple joined us for breakfast. We had coffee pots on each table, and we sold the cup for $1.50, all the coffee you could drink. They ordered one cup. The old guy poured himself a cup, drank it, then filled the cup for her. She drank it, then passed it back to him. This went on for their entire meal. When Snowbird season hit, we’d remove all the condiments from the table; otherwise, they’d take all the sugar, sweeteners, and anything else they could. A popular bumper sticker in the area read: “If it’s Snowbird season, why can’t we shoot them?”
32. Because It’s Free, So Why Not?
I have a friend who is full-on gluten intolerant. However, he’s SO CHEAP, that he’ll go to ANY LENGTH to avoid paying for food (or anything else!). When he found out he could dumpster dive for unlimited bread in San Francisco, that became the staple–nay, the entirety–of his diet.
He spends his days moaning in agony as his insides churn and roil, suffering from constant fiery diarrhea…yet he continues to eat his glutinous meals merely because they’re free!
31. That Won’t Work On Me
I work at a low-cost vet clinic and a notorious womanizer came in (my first time meeting him). He got his dog a round of shots and there was a note in his file to no longer allow payment arrangements. I went to check him out and he was flirting so hard, but I politely shut him down, though he kept trying. I cut him off by telling him his total ($40) and he flipped his lid, gave me a chuckle, and motioned for me to come near him. He whispered: “I know you’re new, sugar, but I’m not supposed to pay for this,” and winked.
I’m not new, he’s just always come in on my days off. I blankly stared at him and told him we didn’t accept payment arrangements from him anymore, and I’ll be darned if he didn’t keep trying to flirt his way out of that $40!
30. I’m At A Payphone Trying To…
My 65-year-old grandmother would go to the airport and check for a change in EVERY payphone. This process would take about a half-hour.
Being a busy airport with a lot of heavily used payphones (this was 25 years ago), they could have two or three people use them by the time she came around for a second sweep. She’d be so proud of her $1.85 after an afternoon there.
29. A Burger King Hero
This happened to me on the way home from work one day. This was probably one of the longest days of my life when I used to work retail and had literally spent the entire day dealing with some of the most moronic customers ever. Needless to say, I was not in a good mood. It’s around 7 p.m. and I’m so exhausted. I decide, “Forget it. I’m too tired to cook. I’ll go get some delicious diabetes in a box and go to Burger King.” So I pull into the drive-through lane and approach the order box. To my astonishment, the usually busy Burger King has but one car in front of me. “Oh good,” I thought, “There’s only one car! I’ll place my order and be home in five minutes flat!” So I roll down my window in preparation for shouting out my order, and I wait. It’s around this time I notice the woman in front of me (a rather rotund lass) seems to be arguing with the cashier. She’s doing so in such a loud manner that I can hear every word. Apparently, she has ordered one Whopper Jr. and nothing else. Just the one hamburger. The problem, it seemed, was that she was requesting extra mayonnaise (God bless America). The cashier was informing her that they were required to charge $0.25 extra for any additional toppings. The woman was angry beyond belief and demanded to speak to the manager. She was ranting and raving saying things like, “I’ve been coming to Burger King for years and I’ve NEVER had to pay for extra mayonnaise!”
After talking to the manager and getting the same story, she then demanded to talk to the owner of the store. The manager informed her that the owner was not on the premises that day. The woman demanded the owner’s home phone number to call and complain (again, all over 25 cents for extra mayo). This went on, I kid you not, for a good 10 minutes. By this time, three other cars had pulled up behind me. Have any of you read this ever had a life-defining moment of clarity? One of those situations where you knew exactly what to do and you did it? I’m here to tell you today, friends, that on that day I had such a moment. An epiphany, really. I calmly got out of my car, walked up to the window of the woman’s vehicle and said, “Hello.” Rather shocked, the woman looked at me with a dumbfounded expression and said nothing. I casually reached into my pocket and produced two quarters. I placed one in each hand and offered them to her. “Here you are, madame. I would be more than happy to purchase you not only the extra mayonnaise you require today but provide the extra mayonnaise you so crave on your next visit as well.” Her face turned the brightest, purest shade of red and, with God as my witness, I tell you her tires screeched in rage as she peeled out of the parking lot and left (without her extra mayonnaise or a sandwich period). I then got back into my vehicle, pulled up to the order box, ordered my medium #1 Whopper with cheese combo and Dr. Pepper to drink, and approached the pick-up window. Apparently, the employees had all been rather frazzled by the experience and had been watching the entire exchange on the camera they had set up at the drive-through order box. They literally broke into applause when I pulled up to receive my order and gave it to me at no charge. The manager said, “I know I could have just given her the mayonnaise and saved us all the hassle. But your actions this day have made it all worth it, sir. Thank you for choosing Burger King.” And I drove off into the sunset.
28. Definitely Not A Smart Idea
In college, I had to go 40 km from my rented room to my campus. I had three options: by train –a one-hour ride plus a 20-minute walk, $2.50 one way ride, so $5 daily or $50 for monthly ticket; by bus– a two-hour ride, with two changes at $1.10 per bus ride, $6.60 per day or $110 monthly ticket; or using network of interconnected free bus lines spanning whole metropolitan area that ran to and from supermarkets. That was a four-hour ride, but it was free. That helped with my total budget that was going strong at $20-30/month.
So for half a year, I spent the equivalent of full-time job saving $100 per month before it occurred to me to ride by train, and find a half-time job near the campus that paid $300 that covered the cost of transportation as a benefit–and I had to work anyway to eat at all. I was not a smart man, then.
27. It’s A “Medical” Condition
When I was a waiter I had a person ask me for “a cup of hot water and a glass of ice.” He then pulled out a tea packet, brewed some tea, used our sugar to sweeten it, then poured it onto the ice for iced tea. I just shook my head and thought, “Congrats man, you beat the system and saved $2.”
I also had a woman throw a huge fit about wanting to order the kid’s steak. I explained to her that the kid’s menu was discounted heavily so we could appeal to families more (the kid’s 6 oz steak was $6 while an 8 oz of the same cut was $12 on the adult menu.) She demanded to see the manager and said that it’s a medical condition and she HAS to order off the kid’s menu because she can’t eat an adult portion. My manager said oh that’s cool, we actually have a special on the 6 oz cut right now for $10, it’s the same size as the kid’s steak. She was speechless and I was laughing my butt off.
26. A Hard Footlong
I work at Subway. The other day, this woman came in and said that the bread from her sandwich was hard, and that she wanted a free footlong. She told us that she had come in THREE DAYS AGO. I asked her if she had a receipt. Nope. I explained to her that our policy is that you need to bring in the uneaten sandwich and a receipt. She then said, “Oh, well I have them both at home, but I don’t know where they are!” What? I understand the receipt, but how can you lose a footlong sandwich?
She kept arguing with us and demanded to speak with the manager. The said manager is not there in the evenings. I told her to come back tomorrow, during the day. She agreed, but you guessed it! She never came back.
25. Oh, Mommy!
My mom made me sell things around the house for small change, or put them up for free to get rid of them. She was making me sell this ugly candle thing, that she dropped the price on about 10 times after no one wanted it. Then when it was free, we got a bite. She asked if she could meet me halfway to point X. It was no problem as that was legitimately my work at the time, so I told her when I was working. She arrived at my work, 35 minutes after we agreed, and I was working obviously by then and wasn’t answering my phone. She walked in and asked for me and I told my manager what happened and she said it was all good, just be quick.
So I walked her to my car to grab the thing. She told me she was sorry that she was late, but her friend dropped her off at the shopping center up the road, which was a good 20-minute walk, then said that her son was supposed to pick her up here after a meal, drop her off somewhere else and that her husband would take her back home. All for this ugly free candle holder thing.
24. No Tip, Of Course
I work at a sports restaurant. I had a guy on a date tell me that when it was time to pay, I didn’t bring any bread to the table. I explained to him we don’t bring bread except if you order pasta or soup; if he had asked for it, I would have brought him some with him steak for sure.
He then said the steak wasn’t well cooked. I explained to him that if he had told me before he ate the whole thing, the cooks would have redone it without a problem. Anyways, he kept trying to find crappy excuses not to pay in front of his date. He ended up paying but didn’t tip me of course.
23. Not A Joyful Ride
My grandmother took me to Burger King when I was a kid. We went through the drive-thru, but then had to drive across town for about 45 minutes to get home. When we got home, she had pickles on her burger and had specifically asked for no pickles.
So she calls Burger King to complain and is on the phone for half an hour before the manager apparently offers her a free burger on her next visit. She says “we’ll be right there.” So we drove 45 minutes back to Burger King, she got her free burger, and we drove 45 minutes back home. By the time we got home, I was hungry again.
22. Popcorn Monster Granny
When I was a teenager I worked at a movie theater and something similar happened to us with popcorn. There was this old woman who we called the “old popcorn witch.” She would always order a BUCKET of popcorn for herself, then when it was almost empty and you could see the bottom she would come back and complain that there was to much salt and demand a free refill. She was always very mean when we told her that we SAW her pouring salt onto it, and that she had eaten most of it.
My managers got sick of arguing and told us to do it. It makes me so mad. She would do it every week that I worked there and no one ever stopped her. Sometimes she would literally be stuffing her face with popcorn as fast as she could when she went to hand it back to us.
21. Just Do The “Throw A Fit” Technique
My buddy once saw an online (Target?) ad for a mispriced Wii U console for about $70. He then went to Walmart and after about 10 minutes of arguing with the manager, they agreed to price-match the console for $70. He then went to the next Walmart to try and get the same deal.
But by the time he got there, Walmart had already sent out a company-wide email telling them to not price-match the Wii U console, and that it was a mistake by the online company and that if you try to purchase it online, it wouldn’t let you. He threw a small public fit and the Walmart manager agreed to give him a $25 Walmart gift card for his time/travel. He then went to four more Walmart stores in the area and proceeded to con them each out of $25 gift cards.
20. Not Gonna Waste Food
At a water park last year, my friends and I all sat down to eat at a restaurant in the park, and after ordering our food, I noticed how much food the people who just left had left on their plates. It was a felony— 3/4 of a pizza, entire bowls of fries that looked untouched and way more.
While no staff were around, I stole their leftovers and started eating them stealthily, hiding them under the table whenever the staff were nearby. My friends were freaking screaming at me the whole time but it was so funny and worth it. That was a good pizza.
19. I See What You Did There
At our store, a regular customer comes in every single freaking day and asks for a refill of iced coffee, hot coffee, and a small cup of steamed soy. He brings in his old cups and has his membership card in order to get free refills. We always mark his cups (he doesn’t know) so we know which day he brought it in, and call him out on it.
My coworkers are sick of it lately so they just let him have it, but two days ago, I looked at him and just said: “I’m sorry sir, but these cups are noticeably old and our policy for refills only work if you stay in the store, not bring them back a day later.” He was pissed but he paid. Probably the first time he’s paid full price for his drinks in a week or two.
18. Such A “Lucky” Girl
I saw someone put a strand of their own hair in their meal and complain. Our restaurant generally had a policy that if there was a problem with the meal we would replace it and they would get a free dessert. Essentially, they don’t have to pay for the meal. So, the “lucky” girl got a free dessert, half a meal and a full meal.
Naturally, hair in food is a big deal and since the “customer is always right,” I couldn’t exactly call her out. It was so obvious too, she had really long hair and no one working in the restaurant that night had hair that long.
17. Everyone Has Their Own Ways
I work at Subway. People go through a lot to get free food. Such as one guy came in after eating his entire footlong and complained that there weren’t enough jalapeños and demanded a free sandwich. Or the guy that came in a few hours after purchasing his food with a small bit of sandwich and a huge ass moth in it saying it was in our spinach and just didn’t notice putting it in the sandwich.
The best part was he showed all of us pictures of moths on his phone that he found in his house. He demanded 15 free footlongs and kept bragging about how great he was for not suing. A younger kid came in with a knife bigger than his sandwich, saying he took a bite and “found it in there.” We also used to give out free cookies on Sundays, and it would always be two random less popular flavors. One day a lady calls the store three times within an hour to angrily tell me how much she did not like the flavor of free cookie she got. We ended up having to give her a free cookie of her choice. People are lame.
16. Dignity Level Zero
I don’t work in fast food, but I do work at a movie theater. We get calls once or twice a week from people trying to get free tickets. And let me just say, they are the most RIDICULOUS claims. My favorite was either the time someone called up and claimed they were in a movie being “harassed.” I asked them what movie it was, and they said “Scary Movie 5.” That movie wasn’t due to come out for another week. When I told them this, they quickly said it was “Charlie McCloud.” I told them we hadn’t had that movie for over a week. They hung up. Or the time someone called up and claimed that people in the movie were “making fun of her for being fat” and “throwing food at her during the movie.” After stringing her along for awhile asking her how many people were with her, and how many people were harassing her, I promptly told her that the movie she claimed to be in was empty all day. Not a ticket sold. She got angry and hung up.
Just this past Sunday, a woman called up and claimed she had sat in “cat poop.” I asked her how exactly she knew it was cat poop. She muttered something incoherently so I humored her by saying that if she brought up the “cat poop pants” and their ticket stubs, I would give them passes. Before they were demanding a refund on the pants (at a movie theater?) and free concession. They still haven’t shown with the poop pants.
15. Exploiting A Loophole
A certain airline once did a deal where you could spend money at its shop and the money would count towards your frequent flier miles. Of course, when you have a certain number of FFM’s, you could travel places for free by spending those miles. So some customers found out that the store sold mint coins, which had the same monetary value that they paid for it, or something like that (so $1 bill would get you $1 mint coin).
They then figured out that this mint coin was legal tender, so they would deposit that coin into their bank, resulting in a net money spent to be $0. Well, since that transaction went through, it counted towards their FFM. So people started doing this process over and over, spending a net $0, but still getting free FFM. That meant they got a ridiculous number of FFM to anywhere they wanted to go, without spending a cent.
14. They’re Supposed To Be “Free”
I used to work at Chili’s. If you sat in the bar area you got “free” chips and salsa. Technically, they weren’t free; you got one bowl with each entree purchased. But typically the bar had parties of 2 or 4 and most people don’t out eat their entrees so it was never really an issue (plus it was only like 99 cents extra if you purchased an entree and wanted an extra bowl, $4.99 for chips and salsa without an entree). This lady comes in one day with her four children. She had to have been about 250 pounds. She orders water for everyone and chips. They devour the first plate, I bring a second, they devour that, I bring a third. I ask if I can take an order, and she tells me they’re waiting for some more people.
At this point, I know something’s up and while I’m in the back, I see her kids stuffing chips into Ziplock bags. I had to have brought out something like 10 refills on the chips before they tried to leave. My manager intercepted them before they got up and dropped a ~$50 bill on their table (each bowl was $4.99). She starts shouting that chips and salsa were free. He called her out on the ziplock bags. Long story short, she had no money on her, cops got called, she got arrested (or at the very least escorted out of the restaurant). We didn’t honor her crap, and we never saw her again.
13. Got A Steak Break
When I waitressed at a steakhouse, we had a guy who came in about every two weeks to order our smallest, cheapest steak medium-rare. He’d eat 75% of the steak, then complain that it was too well-done in order to get another.
He pulled it a good five or six times before the manager banned him for life. I’d estimate that the price of his dignity worked out to about $5 per serving.
12. A Week’s Worth Of Seafood
There’s a place in our town that does an all you can eat seafood buffet. My granddad loves it and around once a month he invites everyone in the family to go. We all do because it’s nice to catch up and see everyone. My granddad has a sister who is incredibly tight with money. So tight it’s cringe-worthy. Because she refuses to pay for a seafood buffet, and because he wants everyone to be together, my granddad pays for his sister to come.
A little while ago we all noticed that for a little old lady, whenever she comes to the seafood buffet, she carries a comically large handbag. Turns out that she was filling her handbag with plastic food containers (think Chinese takeaway) stacking her plate full of seafood, then transferring it into the plastic containers and essentially bringing home a week’s worth of seafood every time she went out.
11. For A Venti Latte
When I was 16 and worked at Starbucks I was working a closing shift and I was alone on the floor (my super idiotic assistant manager was in the back kicking around). This guy comes in and orders a doppio espresso, and I ring him in and go over to the bar to make it–a super simple drink with two shots of espresso. I put it up on the bar and this guy starts FLIPPING OUT! “What the heck is this?” I explain to him that it’s what he ordered; a doppio espresso is just two shots of espresso.
He continues to flip out for a good two minutes. My assistant manager comes out at this point but doesn’t intervene. So I offer to make the man another drink, and he goes, calmly and quickly “Okay I’ll take a venti latte.” And that’s how a middle aged man gets a $6 drink for the price of $2 at the expense of a teenage girl’s dignity.
10. Blabbing For Cupcakes
I used to work at Whole Foods. People would return half-eaten food because “it wasn’t fresh anymore.” In one case this was a pie with one piece left; in another, it was a quarter of a melon.
We also had a woman come into the bakery and complain about the cupcakes day after day so that she could talk to the manager and get free, freshly-made cupcakes as a keep-em-happy concession. The con never lasts long but she got a whole bunch of free cupcakes while it did.
9. Not His Lucky Day
My friend dated this guy for around six months who CONSTANTLY, and I mean like daily/nightly, would take her out for food at restaurants. He put on a very convincing front of having a lot of money, a nice car, an apartment, etc. There wasn’t a specific pattern, but they would cycle through the same places every so often.
It came to an unfortunate end when they were out at a steak place, and the waitress came back and informed him that the gift card he used was declined. Turns out, he would call and complain to the manager of any restaurant they’d just been at and would demand a gift card as compensation for the “bad” service. He did this with every single place they went to and every time. He didn’t even have enough money to actually pay for the bill. She had to cover it.
8. It’s Not Take-All-You-Can
I used to work for McDonald’s. One time a lady walked inside and asked for a to-go bag. She took it and started FILLING it with sugar packets.
My manager walked out and told her she couldn’t just take a bag of sugar, and she argued that it was free, so she could take as much as she wanted. My manager told her it was for customers only, and not for them to take home to use later and eventually made her put all the sugar back.
7. For A Free Game!
I had been collecting Bing points to buy the Fallout 4 Season Pass. It took a while to save up, and I cash them out $10 at a time. I was really close to the $50 or so needed and was just waiting on my last $10 reward to buy it. Then when I hit it, literally two days before, about $20 expired! I was really upset about that, and I messaged Xbox support about it. I said that I already had a purchase in mind, and the $20 just expired two days ago. I asked if there would be any way they could credit it back just so I could make the purchase. If you’ve ever tried contacting Xbox support, that’s a struggle on its own. Nobody I talked to could do anything, and I eventually got them to escalate the issue, but that person wouldn’t help either, which really bothered me because here I’ve been paying for Xbox Live since its inception and buy several Xbox games over the years, and they’re going to be uber strict over $20? So, I tried other things. I tweeted at Xbox. I think I even tweeted their CMO and a few other employees who I could find (not working grunts, but important folks), but I don’t think that went anywhere.
During one of the support calls, I asked to have my Xbox Live membership canceled. And I think this is what might have helped things along. (Also, when the support guy canceled my Xbox Live, he canceled it that same day, despite me having three months left on my subscription.) I think it was about a week or two after that when I got a response from someone, I think a DM on Twitter or something. I don’t remember exactly, but essentially it was a real person at Xbox who reached out about helping me. I had a call with him directly and explained the whole situation and he sent me an email which was a typical support ticket, but one I guess he was handling personally. Through that exchange, I managed to get like a $25 credit or something, plus three months of Xbox Live free to make up for what I had already had left in my original subscription at cancellation. So, I then bought the Season Pass and have been in Nuka-World ever since!
6. It Wasn’t Good Eh?
My parents own a diner. This one middle-aged woman seems to like to play this game where they eat all their food then at the end complain that it wasn’t good basically to get a free meal.
I’m sure you can pull that crap at Applebee’s but don’t do that at a family-owned restaurant. Eating everything on your plate and then saying it wasn’t good does not make you very credible and we have no interest in wanting you as a customer.
5. It’s Not Worth The Wait
A pizza place opened in an outdoor mall near me. For opening day, they advertised that they would be giving away free slices of pizza. My daughter and I went over and see a massive line. Plus it was hot and sunny with little shade. I told my disappointed daughter to hop back in the car, and we drove down the road to a different pizza place and paid for slices with drinks.
I drove by the new pizza place on the way home and saw the same people in line, and the line had barely moved. Worth it. I visited a few weeks later after the hype died down. The pizza was crap. Just because something is free doesn’t mean it’s worth it.
4. This Lady Has Her Own Technique
My dad manages restaurants. You know those little tablets they have at tables? This lady pays her bill through it, but swipes her card multiple times. So she gets charged multiple times. She complains, which is fair, so the restaurant drops her bill completely, and she gets a free meal.
But that’s not enough: she asks for $50 and starts yelling for this money. Of course, she’s told no and asked to leave. Some people are just so weird.
3. It Pays To Be Short
I was short as heck when I was a kid. (I’m also short as heck now, but still.) My parents claimed that I was younger than I was for a long time in order to get kid’s prices on things; they just told me to go along with it, so I did.
Except I’m a crappy liar with a guilty conscience, so I was probably going white in the face each time they lied about my age on my behalf, thinking that the worker was going to look at me, learn that I was older than my parents claimed and get me in trouble. Fortunately, though, we were never actually caught.
2. Walking Would Be The Same Distance
Not exactly free, but cheap. I bought a $5 microwave on Craigslist when I was at NYU. Once I got there and picked up the microwave, I realized I didn’t have a way to get back since I had walked there. It was maybe only a 15 to 20-minute walk from my dorm, but it was a lot easier not carrying a microwave. This thing weighed a lot, and there was a heavy glass plate inside that made it difficult.
So then I thought, “Do I take the subway or a taxi?” A subway ride would have been about $2.50, which would greatly inflate the cost of the microwave. And the taxi would have been far more. I seriously considered the subway, but realized there would be no easy route anyway and I’d still end up walking almost just as much distance ultimately. So, I carried that crap the whole way, pausing several times to rest. I made it, though, and the best part is that about three years later I sold it on Craigslist for $10.
1. You Gotta Move It, Move It!
I used to work at a gas station and there was one lady that always bragged about finding pennies on the ground. She would come in and scour the store looking for dropped pennies. She would even find them behind heavy displays and then ask the employees to moved them so she could get a penny.
Then when she finally checks out she would steal every penny out of the give-a-penny-take-a-penny thing. She was probably one of the least likable people I’ve ever met.