People Share Their Best “Class Clown” Stories

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Class clowns: Every school has one. They help make high school hilarious and memorable.

Below, people share stories of their class clowns taking their antics to the next level, things like burning off their leg hair in class, placing dirty poetry in teachers’ pockets, and throwing whole cakes and cooked chickens out the window of buses.

Read on for 50 awesome class clown stories!

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50. “My Balls Are Huge”

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Our class clown found a way to change the scrolling marquee screensaver’s text. Across the network. I have no idea how he did it, but he managed to change the screen savers across the whole school to say: “My Balls Are Huge”– which is a great start to the story. Apparently one of the librarians saw the entire library bank of computers scrolling this, and fainted. Investigations ensued, and he was caught because he hadn’t bothered to cover his tracks or anything. He got pulled into the office. He, his dad, the vice-principal, and the “traumatized” librarian (and a fortunately open door to the rest of the office, hence us knowing this story). There was a long tirade about the consequences of his actions, the “distress” he had caused the poor librarian, etc.

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Finally, at the end of it all, he was asked if he had anything to say for himself. And he did. “I was referring to my basketballs.” Straight face. The vice-principal and his father both actually laughed; the librarian was enraged. And promptly told to calm herself down, by a still snickering vice-principal. He copped a whopping single day of suspension, during which his father took him out for lunch.

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49. Welcome To The Farty

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Our class clown farted louder than I’ve ever heard in my life. I’m talking wall shaking, stomach rupturing, ripped open butt loud. It wouldn’t have been that big of a deal if he hadn’t done it during the middle of our math final. Then as everyone turned to look his way, I just happened to be the unlucky jerk sitting behind him. He pointed directly at me.

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Cue laughter from the entire hall of students and our solemn and usually grim teacher. He may have been the one laughing the hardest if my memory serves me right. He got me good. We’re still best friends today.

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48. That Changed The Mood

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I got sent to the principal’s office with eight random kids once during lunch for detention. Ticking clock in the background and silence as we sat in a circle. The principal was intimidating and would announce each student’s full name, asking them what they did wrong, then giving them additional punishments based on what they did.

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He gets to one kid and announces “ALEXANDER BURGER.” Some kid chimes in out of nowhere “With a small fries and a large coke. Thanks, mate.” It wasn’t the most insane class clown thing I’ve seen, but we all burst out laughing. I’ve never been in a situation since that went from being so insanely tense to relaxed and funny with such a swing.

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47. The Poopie Pants

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There was a gentleman named Angello in my high school who got the named “Jello.” Jello was never a good kid and actually dropped out and somehow got back into school. He was 18 in a class full of sophomores and was at the same maturity level. Anyway, Jello was known for smoking in the bathrooms and many teachers wouldn’t let him go.

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One day, he tries to sign out to use the restroom and the teacher wouldn’t let him. I kid you not this kid sat in the back of the class at his desk and pooped his pants. He didn’t say a word until it smelled, and then looks at the teacher and goes “Well Mr. Walsh I told you I had to take a poop.” I have never laughed so hard in my life and I will never find anything as hilarious as an 18-year-old giving the teacher a smug look with pants full of poop.

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46. The “Honest” Culprit

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Threw two dictionaries by the class’ window from the fourth floor. The dictionaries fell about two feet from the principal who was casually walking outside. The principal proceeds to get inside, climb to the fourth floor, enter the classroom with both books in hand and asks who did this. He says I know it’s someone from this class and no one is leaving until I know who is responsible (by that time it was lunchtime). After a long silence, the guy finally says “OK I admit, I threw one of them.” The principal goes “I appreciate your honesty, thanks for giving yourself away; you can leave for dinner, but don’t start again.”

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So the kid got to leave while the rest of the class had to stay until we could find who threw the second book (the guy had thrown both obviously). We tried to say he threw both but the principal was like, “Stop trying to put that on the back of your friend who was honest.” We were stuck there for like half an hour until they realized this was going nowhere.

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45. Sauced Pants

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During a class presentation, he had his “assistant” turn off the lights. He then put a flashlight under his head so only his face was illuminated. He started saying things like “Prepare to be amazed,” “Science rules,” and “Welcome to a world of wonder.” He then paused and said, “Please observe what I do with this applesauce.”

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The lights turned back on and he poured an entire jar of applesauce down his pants. This was a high school biology class. The teacher was in shock and I don’t think I’ll ever laugh that hard again. Just pure craziness.

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44. Oops! Wrong Aim!

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The most memorable to me was when our class clown took the blame for throwing an eraser at a teacher and knocking her wig off. It was actually me. (I didn’t do it on purpose; I have a terrible aim and it happened so quickly.)

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She’s going bananas, asking who did it, and he calmly stands up and says, “It was me, but keep your hair on; it was an accident. I was aiming for your glasses.”

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43. Mr. Mustache And His Apprentices

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We had a teacher, Mr. A, who was very strict, very serious, had very high regard for himself, and was very Italian. This man rocked the thickest mustache I had ever seen. Nothing “fancy,” no handlebars or waxed works of art. Just a full, glorious ‘stache that Burt Reynolds would envy. We had been working with fun fur (thick and bushy fur) for an art project. Another kid and I jokingly made faux mustaches out of it and used double-sided tape to wear them. The art teacher, who was young and new to the profession, kinda-sorta dared us to wear them to Mr. A’s class. We went one step further. We made mustaches for everyone.

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Mr. A typically strode into the classroom with disregard for all of us until he had written whatever was important for that day on the board. Somehow a class full of crazy ninth graders managed to keep our heads down and not laugh. We waited for that moment when he turned to face us…It could not have been more perfect. The absolute stunned look on his face, followed by the loudest, not laugh, but straight out guffaw. He loved it and insisted we keep them on for the whole class.

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42. The Bad Riddler

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Our math teacher was away one class and we got stuck with a substitute teacher from hell. He comes back the next day and tells us that he was at a riddle competition; yes, a riddle competition. The class was pretty pissed about having that substitute teacher and our teacher starts bragging about winning first place and how he can solve any riddle.

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So naturally, our class clown gets up and drops this riddle. “You are a bus driver. There are 10 passengers. On the first stop three people get on, five get off. On the second stop two people get on, three get off. On the final stop eight people get on, four get off. What color are the bus driver’s eyes?” Our teacher tries to be smart and answers: “That information was not provided.” To which our clown replies: “Yes, it was, dumbbutt. YOU are the bus driver.” He got suspended.

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41. What Are You Hiding Down There?

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We had a substitute teacher in Spanish one day, the new assistant PE coach. My friend gets my attention and asks me to hand him one of the erasers from the chalkboard. I pass it over, he sticks it down the front of his jeans and positions it to stick out lengthwise. My friend is 6’9″, just massive, and he now looks like he has a raging (rectangular) boner.

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He walks up to the sub’s desk, slaps it down on the table right in front on him and says, “Can I go to the bathroom?” The look of shock and horror on the teacher’s face was priceless. His eyes were focused on his pants the whole time and he mumbled, “Y, y, yes.” I was on the floor, under my desk, having convulsion as my friend walked out looking as proud as a peacock. The whole class was in tears.

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40. The Mys-T-erious Snatcher

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I had a computer teacher who was totally full of himself. Let’s call him Mr. J. He was a bulgy man who looked quite exactly like the WoW player in South Park. He would constantly refuse to help us when we were stuck on something, but would gladly mark us down for not being able to complete it up to his standards. This kid next to me used to steal his fruit pies. We both ate next to his desk in the back. It would baffle the crap out of the teacher. Let’s call the kid T.

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T would wait until the perfect moment to reach over and snag the fruit pie. Mr. J would always be confused to the whereabouts of his pie. He would shuffle around his drawers, stand up, and leave the classroom to the snack stand down the hall to get another. During this time T would scarf down the fruit pie and leave the wrapper in his keyboard desk. T was a class clown and did many other tremendously hilarious things, but for me, the case of the mysterious fruit pie snatcher always left me choking on my own tears. The sheer amazement of the whole class watching T scarf down the pie as quickly as possible yet not saying a thing made high school a great experience.

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39. The Best Halloween Costume Goes To…

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We had recently had a Phys Ed teacher who got arrested for embezzlement. He was old, had gray hair, always wore full monochromatic warm-up suits and carried a briefcase and clipboard.

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So for Halloween, we had a class clown dress up as him and dye his hair gray with the briefcase and everything. He got called up to the principal’s and when asked to take off the costume, he was wearing a prison suit underneath. The look on the principal’s face must have been priceless.

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38. He Was Telling The Truth Though

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We had this game where we would pass along messages in class by writing them on plastic rulers and then showing them to our friends. You could easily erase the text with a tissue. The teacher was onto us however and all of a sudden she asked me what I’d written on my ruler. I answered, “Nothing.” She said,  “You’re lying, Adam, I saw you write something on it. What did you write?” I said,  “Nothing, Miss. Really.”

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She came over and pulled the ruler from my hands, only to reveal the text written on it: “Nothing.” Cost me some pages of punishment, but it was worth it, at least to 12-year-old me.

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37. The Grilled Cheese Experiment

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In science class, we had hot plates to heat up experiments. I kid you not, this kid started making grilled cheese on the hot plate. The teacher was like what’s that noise/smell?

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She looks over to see this kid flipping his grilled cheese on the hot plate; it was sizzling and everything. She tells him to go to the dean’s office, so he stands up takes a bite out of his sandwich and walks out.

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36. The Three Innocent Kids

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In my senior year economics class, our teacher was a 70-year-old woman that had been teaching at the school for at least 40 years. We would mess with her constantly. One day the window was open and I was in the seat right next to it. Another guy in the class gives me a tennis ball and tells me to throw it at him when Dr. Apt was not looking. I had no clue what or what he was going to do but I agreed. When she turned her back to me but could still probably see him out of the corner of her eye I tossed the ball with some force but not much and it hit him in the face. He then proceeded to scream in agony and fall over bringing his whole desk down with him in an extremely slapstick manner. She ran over to him and asked him what happened and he said someone pelted the ball at him from out the window while still writhing in pain on the ground.

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She ran over to the window and spotted three kids in the courtyard outside the classroom and called them over so she could yell at them, but none of them knew what was going on at all and denied it. She told them if none of them fessed up she would call the principal and they would all be in trouble. They all remained confused and stood their ground. She ended up calling the principal and he took them to his office. I don’t know if they ever got in trouble though.

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35. Nice One!

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We had ceiling fans in our math room. This kid Ryan placed about 200 marbles on the blades, and waited patiently with a bike helmet on. The teacher walks in, asks him to take the helmet off.

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Ryan refuses, the teacher gives up. Turns on the ceiling fan. Instant indoor hailstorm. When the chaos died down, the teacher just looked at Ryan and went “nice one,” and handed him a detention slip.

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34. The Missing Sword

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At my high school, during homecoming week there are various competitions between the classes to show who is the “most spirited.” The winner gets awarded The Spirit Sword for the year. Usually, they announce it, and the class president and few other people get their picture with it, then it goes back in the case. In my sophomore year, our class won it, and proceeded to rush the gymnasium floor and grab the sword. When the crowd dispersed the sword was nowhere to be found. The sword was still missing the next year, so they made a new one and started using that.

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Fast forward to our graduation ceremony two and a half years later. After receiving his diploma, the class clown pulled the missing Spirit Sword out from under his gown and handed it to the principal. I think the principal looked a little stunned, he might have smiled. The Class Clown, in this case, wasn’t expelled or arrested. This was a while back, before zero tolerance.

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33. The Hero In Action

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This was my friend’s school, but this kid came to school dressed as The Flash and just ran around campus and through classrooms all day. Administrators were trying to catch him and after a security guard chased him down in the lunch courtyard he got sent to the principal’s office.

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As he was going into the office the kid who was leaving turned to the principal and said: “Dude, you can’t punish The Flash!” The principle must have agreed because he didn’t get in any trouble.

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32. She Didn’t Get The D

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Our art teacher was probably paint fumed out cause she was pretty nutty. We had to do something with shapes, something to do with using basic shapes to create something more complex.

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These two guys managed to make a “D” like object, and they had to present their idea and describe it. She thought it was a good idea and they kept hinting at “D” jokes like “see the shaft here?” and such. She was completely ignorant.

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31. Somebunny Ate It All

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In 7th grade, we had a class rabbit. Our teacher fed it Welch’s Fruit Snacks and we would always beg her to give us some, but they were strictly for the class rabbit. Well, this one kid who was always joking and playing pranks and doing weird crap stole ALL of the fruit snacks when the teacher left the room for a few minutes. He literally ate all of them, maybe like 20 packs? He hid the wrappers in his backpack or something.

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When the teacher came back she was so livid and didn’t believe us that he did it all alone, and so we all got punished. He gave 0 cares. He seriously looked pleased as pie and the rest of us were pissed we didn’t get any fruit snacks.

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30. The Burned Buttered Belly

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The class clown in my year was a rather large guy. So one lunchtime he decided it would be a good idea to pull up his shirt, unveiling his rather large belly, covering it with butter, then running down the hallway as fast as he could to see how far he could slide.

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It wasn’t very far and he just ended up with loads of friction burns over his gut. It’s still one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

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29. Rick And John

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OK, not my detention story but one that I was involved in. There are two people in this story; let’s call them Rick and John. I’m at John’s house and while he’s playing an game I find an old school spring alarm clock and start messing around with it. As he sees me, he immediately tells me to take that thing home with me because last time someone messed with it, the clock woke his family up at 4 a.m. On the same day, back at my house and I have other friends over. I notice that I still have John’s alarm clock set to an unknown time. I decide I don’t want to be the victim of the clock so I put it in Rick’s bag. I forget about it.

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I get a call the next day at around 6 p.m. “Dude, did you put an alarm clock in my bag?” I burst out laughing. Apparently, he was taking a midterm, and everyone is looking at him as this ringing goes off and he doesn’t know what the heck is going on as he pulls out this old fashioned alarm clock from his bag with the stupidest look on his face. Guess I was the class clown.

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28. The Latin Class

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The class clown was one of my good friends and for his birthday I got him a hot pink bra and a white shake weight. I gave him his present in Latin class, where this super short sweet nun was our teacher. He wore the bra outside of his shirt and played with the shake weight all class. Another Latin story: Once it started raining in the middle of class and he reached down in his bookbag, grabbed his umbrella, and opened it in the middle of the room and held it above his head. When the nun asked him what he was doing all he said was “It’s raining.”

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A third Latin story: So another time our teacher was late and he wanted to surprise her. There was this small door to where I believe a water heater was supposed to be or maybe it was a small storage room; either way, it was empty and above the air filter. So he climbed up into the small room and waited for her to show up. However, the nun was sick that day and our sub was the very frightening office receptionist. When she walked in we all started giggling because we knew he was screwed! Lucky for him she left and he immediately climbed out and right as he was closing the door, the other nun walked in and just stared at him for a bit. We’re all still laughing and she said, “I don’t wanna know,” and we all went on with our days.

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27. Walking With A Rager

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Junior year of high school, our “class clown” came to school wearing sweat pants, popped some boner pills, and walked around with a rager. He was the type of guy who could do that and everyone would think it’s funny, whereas if anyone else did it, it would be weird and inappropriate.

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The funniest part about it was that after lunch, an ambulance had to come and get him because it had lasted longer than four hours.

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26. All For The Money

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A kid in my class did stupid things for money. One summer he did the goldfish trick. If you don’t know what that is, it’s when you swallow a live goldfish and try to puke it back up. He was successful the first time, but unsuccessful the second time when they used a bigger fish.

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Then another time, he chugged a bottle of Tabasco sauce for like $17 and proceeded to puke for the next 30 minutes. He couldn’t play in our football game the next day because his stomach was so torn up. The coach was so pissed, he made him run so much the next Monday that he puked again.

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25. The Prankster

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While in lunch detention for a while, one friend had a bunch of kids at school put money in a pot for him for doing a dare involving the teacher everyone despised. The dare: He had to walk up to the teacher and poop his pants while complaining about going to the bathroom while in shorts so that it’d be obvious. It went brilliantly. He walked up to the teacher at her desk, pooped his pants to the point where it was apparently running down his legs from the shorts. She was grossed out and sent him to the closest bathroom where friends had hidden new shorts for him to change into once he cleaned himself up.

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He got a standing ovation from a large portion of the lunchroom while also getting a good bit of cash. Oh and then he was suspended for like a couple of weeks or something after teachers found out it was all a prank from a snitch. I forget what the write up said about his suspension but it was hilarious.

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24. The Lovely Poems

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I knew this kid that would write long, romantic, and graphic love poems on notebook paper. He would then fold them up really really small and place them in my male teacher’s pants pocket. The teacher was a larger fellow and his pant pockets would somehow always be slightly open.

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Later on in the class, the teacher would just happen to place his hands in his pockets and find the unknown piece of paper. He would unfold it and begin to read. As he progressed through the romantic poem, the look on his face just became more and more intrigued/confused. You could tell he had no clue what was going on. But for some reason, he never questioned the notes and would just put them in his desk drawer. We would just sit in the back and laugh our butts off. Just freaking priceless.

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23. The Pointer Stick

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In high school, there was this one teacher who was just a bonafide jerk. She was ridiculous. Cough during class? Detention. Forgot a pencil? Thirty points off final grade. Bathroom? Too freaking bad. She also had this pointer stick thing that she would point to things with, like all teachers in old movies seem to have. She loved that pointer stick. Then there was our class clown: Ryan. Ryan was the kind of kid who would’ve gotten bullied relentlessly if he wasn’t a comedic genius. He had to have been pushing 350 lbs… massive dude, height and weight-wise. Nevertheless, he’d do the worm down the hall, do stand-up in the cafeteria, and take any chance he could to make people laugh. Now one day, Mrs. Jerkface is a few minutes late to class. Ryan notices her pointer on the desk, grabs it, and starts playing this thing, pretending to put it up to his butt…just being an obnoxious class clown. And then Mrs. Jerkface walks in. She and Ryan make the most horribly awkward eye contact ever, as Ryan stands there with one leg up on a desk pretending to take it up the rear with the pointer.

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Then, without missing a beat, Ryan turns and whips the pointer right out the open window. It was perfect. Mrs. Jerkface is just standing there yelling “DETENTION DETENTION DETENTION!” while the rest of us lose our minds. The best part of all this? This high school was in the middle of a huge city, and the pointer was thrown from a fifth-floor window into the street below. My friend went out and got it afterwards. We gift-wrapped it and gave it to Ryan as a graduation present. I miss that guy.

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22. Where Did The Slime Goo?

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This was in the mid 90s. There was some kind of goo slime, whatever you call it available to buy, you could roll it, throw it, and in reality, it was pretty useless.  Anyway, he threw it onto the ceiling, and it stuck… And then fell into our teacher’s neck 30 minutes into the class, and disappeared in her shirt.

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She was so shocked; she literally ripped the shirt off of her. As a 14-year-old, I was amazed. (The teacher was a substitute fresh out of university).

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21. “I Am The Substitute!”

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This class clown had a presentation in the afternoon and wore a suit and had a briefcase all day. He was 19 and had a beard– looked like he was in his early/mid-20s. Upon entering our morning class that had a substitute teacher, he says, “Oh…I guess they didn’t tell you…but they actually called me in for this class this morning. They were trying to reach you all morning to let you know…”

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They argued a bit but the actual substitute teacher packed up his stuff and left. He went on a semi-rant saying that this exact thing has happened so many times before and that he was disgusted with his union.

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20. The Window Climber

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I was in seventh grade Spanish class. The class clown in this scenario was a boy named AJ (real name). He and our teacher were never really on good terms, him being the class clown and hungry for attention.

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One day when she was turned around to write something on the board, he tried to climb out the window. Our class was on the first floor. He was halfway out the window when she turned around and lost her crap. Man, I loved public school.

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19. The Price Is…Wrong!

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My friend and I were the class clowns in high school for sure. Our Spanish teacher was really annoying, so we trolled her all the time. I had a CD walkman (this was the early 2000s) with big headphones that bled tons of sound. So while she was talking, my buddy and I would play the Price Is Right theme. It was loud enough that everyone in the class noticed, but the teacher couldn’t hear it over the sound of her own voice.

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Occasionally, she would stop in the middle of a sentence like she thought she could hear something strange… so we would pause it. Just straight-up gaslighting. That went on for like three days until our fellow students finally got sick of it and ratted us out. We got detention. Worth it.

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18. Very Evil

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When I was in high school, everyone brought their books and stuff to school in a backpack or sports bag. The handles/straps which you use to carry them over your shoulder had little metal clips so that they could be detached.

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At lunch break, everyone used to leave their bags in one corner of the schoolyard. I spent most of my lunch break discreetly unclipping one end and attaching them to other bags so that all of the bags were interconnected in a big tangled mess. When the bell rang and everyone went to grab their bags I stood back and watched the chaos. I’ve never laughed so hard.

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17. Clown- 1. Faculty- 0

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Students vs. Faculty basketball game. Everyone is in the gymnasium to watch the game. It’s a pretty friendly competition for the most part but there were some decent matchups. It was my senior year and our class clown was the announcer for this basketball game. One of the faculty members who was playing only had one arm.

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One-armed faculty member (Mr. X) comes into the game off the bench and immediately hits a 3-point jump shot. During the inbound play, the one-armed faculty member steals the ball and proceeds to make another basket. The class clown, who has been announcing the game lets out this gem: “And Mr. X is single-handedly taking over this ball game!” The game literally had to be stopped as people were laughing too hard. It caused a bit of an awkward exchange between the student and teacher but was the best timing on a joke I’ve ever heard.

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16. At Least He Tried

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Our class clown was always doing dumb “stunts” just to make people laugh. He got sick of climbing on/in random things and jumping stairs one day and decided it’d be funny to smack into walls. His first few walls were fine as they were all concrete. There was a girl crying in the hallway and he figured he could make her laugh by making a funny face and tackling the glass door… He went through the door and needed stitches leaving splatters of blood and broken glass on the way to the office.

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It didn’t make her laugh, but it did distract her from what was bothering her as she was busy trying to help. So that’s a plus I suppose.

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15. Chair Stunting Superstar

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One of my very good friends was also really hilarious, not exactly in trouble at school, but just funny in general. Anyway, in college, so we’re…not kids, he was tipping back in his chair trying to get it to balance. This chair was the combo chair/desk thing, that had one side you slide in to and could write on the other side. So you could also only get OUT obviously on that one side. Well….while trying to balance his chair, he totally falls over.

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While trying to catch himself, he managed to roll on to the side that was open, he was totally stuck in the chair, on the ground. So in his hilarious antics, he does this Chris Farley impersonation and swinging arms and flailing body and just as ridiculous as possible. I was sitting right beside him, dying of laughter, and the whole class literally stopped, and was staring. After what seemed like five minutes, he got out of the chair, and stood up, said “superstar” while raising his hands, fixed his chair, and sat back down.

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14. It’s Meow Or Never

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All girls Catholic school and the Dean of Student life was a terrifying Stalin lady. Spirit week schedule is announced, and again she assigned a “Dress Like a Teacher day” on Wednesday. Super annoying because we had to dress nice or like a man. Sure the first year is fun, but by the fifth or sixth time it’s old.

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So our class clown decides that it is CAT DAY, and shows up in a full-on cat suit, hood with ears, drawn on whiskers, the full nine yards. I was at my locker, about three down from our clown when the dean finds her and asks what teacher she’s dressed as. The girl, Molly, lifts up her hand and makes a clawing motion and goes, “I’m you, merowww,” Considering the dean was such a terror, I thought the girl was done for, but the lady just laughed and let her go. I thought the dean was going to implode in fury.

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13. The Bench

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In college, my friends and I stole a bench to put on our porch. We were caught by campus safety as we neared our house, and after sternly reprimanding us and taking our information, they instructed us to lug the (very heavy) bench all the way back across campus to the place we had taken it from.

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We got stopped so many times walking it back that eventually one of the campus police officers put out an alert to not waste time stopping “the guys moving a bench.” We spent the rest of the day moving benches around willy-nilly. We even put one in a tree.

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12. Fun On The Bus

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My high school bus had a reputation for being insanely unruly. We’d always start bus wide chants of the bus number (3-2-5! 3-2-5!), and chant at other buses (Your Bus Sucks! Your Bus Sucks!). We even had a long choreographed rap sequence set to a Wu-Tang Clan song. One time we remained completely silent for 20 minutes and the bus driver flipped out because she suspected we were up to something. Anyways… I got a reputation for throwing stuff out windows… Usually open, full Poweraid bottles. Then one kind kid on the bus started home economics class and brought his finished food on the bus, which lead to the two instances. Those were the ones I got in trouble for with. The first time I got banned from the bus, the bus was going around 20 mph and I threw a whole chocolate cake out the window and it nailed a friend of mine in the back of the head. He didn’t see it coming. The next day he told me that he was mad at first but after a shower, his skin had never felt smoother. Also, the cake was mostly frosting and was undercooked and gooey. It was partially wrapped to keep its shape but it EXPLODED on contact.

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The second time I got suspended from the bus, I threw a whole cooked chicken into the window of another bus. It landed on some unsuspecting kid’s lap. From what I heard the kid who had the chicken fall in his lap thought it was hilarious. A goody-two-shoes ratted me out.

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11. Too Shocked To Punish

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It was a hot day, we were in the middle of language class, all in silence reading some text. After about 10 minutes of overwhelming boredom, he quietly borrowed a lighter from someone and put his leg on a desk. It was extremely hairy. And he set that hair on fire.

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I don’t know what was more hilarious– the laughter or the smoke and the smell. The hair burned off nice and clean in few seconds; the leg was undamaged. The teacher was in such shock that she couldn’t bear to even punish him.

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10. The Phone Collector

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One kid had his phone taken away for texting during class. The next day, the teacher took it away again. But he pulled out a second (old) cell phone a couple of minutes later and began pressing buttons, pretending to text. It was also confiscated.

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This happened several more times before he pulled a giant cordless phone with 2-foot antenna, the sort that came out in the late 80s and began pushing buttons on it. The teacher couldn’t stop laughing.

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9. Taking Advantage Of The Blind Spot

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One of our teachers was blind in the right eye and my friend would sit on his blind spot. In the middle of class, he was able to unscrew the safety locks on the window and managed to throw out his desk from the fifth floor. We heard the crash but didn’t think much of it.

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The teacher noticed some movement and when he discovered my friend just standing there he asked what’s wrong: “I don’t have a desk.” Pure freaking genius.

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8. You Gave Him An Idea

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For some reason one of my substitute teachers, who was brand new to the job, decided to tell the class about the only time she ever cheated on a test in school. Basically she and her friend were like “I know all the answers on the front,” “I know all the answers on the back” and started copying off each other, until the teacher came over and took their tests and gave them an F on it. She told that story right before giving us a test to take.

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During the test, our class clown said at the beginning: “You can’t do anything to us if we cheat on this, because you just encouraged it with that story.” Five to ten minutes into the test the class clown stood up at his desk and shouted: “I know all the answers on the front, who knows all the answers on the back?!”

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7. Caught In The Act

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The teacher had his lunchbox on his desk, and this guy stripped down to his boxers and crawled underneath all the tables from the back of the class to the front, stole his lunchbox, and started eating his food underneath the table.

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The teacher caught on to what was happening, looks under the table and just says “What the HELL are you doing?” The look on the kid’s face as he was caught with a banana in his mouth was just priceless.

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6. Gummy Disaster

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Our class clown threw homemade gummy bears on the wall whenever the teacher had his back to the class. One landed on the projector and slowly began to melt.

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The whole projection turned blue. The teacher freaked out. Then there was this case where he kicked an empty water bottle down the staircase (we were on the top floor) and it hit the principal on the ground floor right in the face.

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5. 30-Minute Fishy Vacation

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The kid in our English class named Eric walked in one day, went straight to the fish tank in the back, pulled a fish and placed it in his wallet. He asked to use the restroom right as the class started and let the fish loose in the toilet.

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Thirty minutes later, he asked to use the restroom again, and retrieved the fish. When he placed it back in the tank, the look on the teacher’s face still causes me to laugh uncontrollably eight years later.

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4. Bambambambam And Poof!

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I was a completely wild child in middle school. I learned the locker combinations for every locker on my row over the course of the year, and one day near the end of class I left for the bathroom. I opened all the lockers in the row and planned on running down the hall and closing them all at once at high speed right as the bell rang for class change.

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Bell rings, I fly down the hall… BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM as all the lockers close and then right at the end this short kid with glasses on that I didn’t know came out of his classroom first and got stiff-armed to the face. I smashed his glasses into pieces and was so shocked that I kinda just froze. He went into a nerd rage and we got into a huge fight and were both put into in-school suspension for a week. Same room. Ended up being best friends.

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3. Who Started The Fire?

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In my junior year integrated chemistry/physics class one guy got up while the teacher was lecturing, proceeded to walk to the back of the classroom and discharged the fire extinguisher all over the place.

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We had to leave the classroom because the dust/fire extinguisher stuff was everywhere. He got suspended for 10 days. Teacher: “Ryan what are you doing?… Ryan don’t….. Ryan, I am serious you will get in a lot of trouble…”

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2. Rub It The Right Way

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My art teacher was known to press and rub her crotch against the corners of our high, woodblock work tables whenever she would come by to observe projects. One day, I was lazily spinning a ruler on a pencil while listening to her lecture. She told me to stop, and I asked why, seeing as how I wasn’t bothering anyone. She gave some BS answer, and I complied. I then asked her, courteously I thought, if my compliance “rubbed her the right way.”

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Everyone got the joke. The class erupted in laughter, which did not stop as I was written up, ordered to the principal’s office, and left the room. The best part was the look of amusement on the vice principal’s face as he read the incident description.

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1. Flex Your Head, Too!

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The weightlifting teacher was a portly bald headed fellow who also coached football. The class clown kid was also a football player and got a reputation for the smoking pot so this coach would relentlessly tease him, pretend to hit an air bong when this would walk in and call him pothead, etc.

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One day, the class was moved from the weight room to a class for some reason and the teacher was flexing in front of the room saying “my biceps are so big I can’t touch my shoulders.” A voice shouted out from the back: “TRY TOUCHING YOUR HAIR.” The class erupted and the teacher chased the kid out of the room.

Marijean Grace

Marijean Grace

Spreading some good positive vibes!

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