People Who Objected At A Wedding Share What Went Down

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When most of us hear the “speak now or forever hold your peace” part at weddings, we just chuckle to ourselves–who actually objects at weddings, right?

Well, it turns out that people do object. Sometimes they’re playing a very daring prank, but sometimes they’re dead serious.

Read on for 50 shocking stories of people objecting at weddings.

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50. He Spent Years Planning, But Not For This

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My wife-to-be and I had been dating since we were 13. I had gone overseas as a military contractor, and when I returned, I asked her to marry me. We spent a year planning everything. On the day of the wedding, when asked if anyone objected, a guy stood up. My would-be-wife told him to sit back down and he proclaimed loud enough for everyone to hear that he had been with her the entire time I was away, including the time we were planning the wedding.

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She then broke down and confessed that the only reason she was marrying me was that he had gotten her pregnant and he was a bum, whereas I at least had a job. I left her, met a nice girl through work, and am now happily married. I see her around sometimes, looking miserable with him following behind her like a whipped puppy.

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49. The Most Awkward Wedding Ever

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The groom objected. He just stood up there and started crying and, in front of everyone, told the bride that he’d fallen out of love with her a while before, but he didn’t know how to break it off. It was extremely uncomfortable; they both stepped out of the church, and ten minutes later came back out and got married, because she’d apparently told him she was pregnant.

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They’re still together, with three kids, and I’m not sure about the husband, but I can confirm that the wife is having an affair. Neither of them is happy, but she has a comfortable life and he doesn’t have the spine to leave.

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48. The Paid Objection

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To be fair, I didn’t witness this, but it happened to my parents. My mom invited an ex she was still rather close with to her wedding and he stood up and yelled: “I object!”

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Little did everyone at the wedding know, my dad had gotten rather close with him and paid him to stand up and object for fun and laughed his butt off when it happened. My mom didn’t find it as funny and it really started their marriage off on the wrong foot.

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47. She’s Not Willing To Listen

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I objected before the wedding. The bride was my ex from high school, but she had a sister I was still good friends with (I’m the ex her family always really liked). I knew her family opposed the wedding, I knew why, and I had a suspicion that her close friends might’ve thought the same about the dude she was marrying. About a month before the wedding, I sat down with her and basically confronted her on everyone’s behalf. She had been on a string of bad relationships after me, but despite my love for indulging in schadenfreude, I didn’t actually want to see her get hurt by this guy (not physically, but emotionally). We had a long talk, she said she appreciated me voicing my concerns, but that she was sure she wanted to marry him.

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She got married, moved out of state, took on a lot of debt for him, and ended up separating before a full year. The last I heard, she is planning her second wedding with the guy that came after the first. Same stuff, different guy. You can’t fix stupid, I guess.

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46. Wrong Church!

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One of my father’s brothers loved to play practical jokes on his friends when they were getting married. He said he was not worried about payback, as he planned never to get married. Famous last words. When he finally got engaged, he warned his fiancee that they would probably face a lot of pranks as his friends got revenge for the ones he had played on them. But everything went off without a hitch until the minister declaimed that fatal phrase, “If anyone can show just cause that this man and this woman should not be married, let him speak now or forever hold his peace.”

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Suddenly a voice rang out from the back of the church, “Stop the wedding!” A man no one had ever seen before, wearing bib overalls and a checked shirt, came down the aisle, holding a baseball bat in one hand and pulling a very pregnant young lady with the other. He came to the front and glared at my uncle full in the face for a long minute. Then he glared at the bride and the minister. Finally, he looked around the sanctuary at the guests. He suddenly called out, “WRONG CHURCH!” and he and the girl ran out of the church.

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45. The Reverse Prank

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My dad attended my uncle’s wedding (not my real uncle, but they were roommates in college) a few years ago and objected to the wedding as a joke. When the question was asked, my dad stood up and yelled: “I object; she’s too good for him!” Suddenly all their old college friends stood up and also started objecting, as it was all part of an elaborate plan to screw with my uncle. The bride, of course, was mortified.

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My uncle, knowing my dad and all their mutual friends, expected something like this and had spoken with the officiant about a reverse prank. My uncle whispered to the officiant that it was go-time. The officiant quieted everyone down and then announced that he was, in fact, offering a two for one deal on marriages and invited my dad and his girlfriend of 13 years up to the altar to be married as well. Laughs ensued and my dad sat down and shut the hell up for the rest of the ceremony.

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44. She’s Not “Pure”

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Back in the late nineties, I was invited to the wedding of a guy I was in the army with. He married his girlfriend from university in his southern (Italian-speaking) Swiss hometown; it was all very traditional. During the ceremony, a girl crashes through the door, and started shouting in Italian that the bride could not get married in white in a church as she was not a virgin, and very promiscuous and not “pure.”

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The whole audience was stunned and waited for the reaction of the couple or someone in general. Suddenly, the groom’s mother stood up and screamed at the intruder in the most vicious voice I ever heard, “Manuela, shut the hell up. Everyone knows where you like taking it!” I’ve been told that the girl was the groom’s high school girlfriend, but he left her as she wanted to wait until marriage.

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43. The Bride Objected

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The bride read his cheating comments from his phone as her vows; she said he didn’t deserve her and that he needed to excuse himself from the venue. We all watched him tuck his tail and leave stunned in silence.

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She then addressed his family, stating, “All of you have been so good and kind to me over the past four years. My respect and love for you have not changed. Please join all of my family and friends at the reception for a celebration of truth, love, and freedom to make the right decisions even though they hurt.” His brother and two friends didn’t go to the reception. Everyone else attended and had a blast.

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42. With The Maid Of Honor

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I went to a co-worker’s wedding and the maid of honor objected and admitted to being the other woman and that the groom had been cheating with her for months. The bride left in tears and the groom immediately tried to go with her. She told him she wasn’t going to hurt the bride further and that he needed to leave her the hell alone.

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The bride is doing much better and is now a manager at our office and we haven’t heard from the groom in over a year. The maid of honor and the bride are on speaking terms, but their relationship is never, ever going to be what it used to be.

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41. Too Much From Mom

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I went to a friend’s wedding and during the reception, his mother got up to do an impromptu speech. She said, “I can’t believe my son is marrying that horrible woman. She’s going to ruin his life.” The groom ripped the microphone out of her hand, then yelled at her to leave.

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This was seven years ago and the couple is still married and happy. For the record, the bride is not horrible; she’s actually quite lovely, and nothing like the mother said.

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40. Not A Two-Way Street

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The best man at my stepsister’s wedding did something pretty crazy; it happened at the rehearsal the night before. It was a very large wedding and the rehearsal was bigger than a lot of weddings. The minister was going over the vows quickly while giving instructions on what to do; he said something about objections and the best man interrupted saying he had to put a stop to this.

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He then said that he was in love with the bride and was sure she felt the same way. My sister and everyone else was horrified and it caused plenty of chaos and confusion. As far as I know, neither the bride nor groom ever spoke to him again after that.

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39. We Already Warned You

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I objected before the wedding. The best man and I (bridesmaid) knew the bride was cheating on our friend (groom). We tried to talk him out of the wedding beforehand but they went through with it. I said I couldn’t be in the wedding because I couldn’t stand there and act like it was right.

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The groom woke up late one month after the wedding. One month to the date exactly and found the texts of her cheating. They divorced right after that.

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38. It Continued, But…

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My friend (the groom) was getting married to this awful girl we all hated. They broke up during the rehearsal dinner after arguing about the order the groomsmen would stand in. The wedding still happened the next day, even though they were “broken up.” We all showed up to the church, not knowing if the bride would show, or what would happen. She showed up, the pastor asked for the objections and her mom objected–she yelled something about how the groom is a piece of crap and isn’t welcome in her family. The mom left the church, and the dad and brother left after.

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The bride was just standing there staring at the groom with a real smug look on her face and said, “I told you you should have put my brother second in line, instead of fifth.” The pastor didn’t know what to do, but just kinda kept on trucking and eventually, they were married. They’re divorced now; they didn’t even make it a whole year.

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37. Like A Boss

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This was what happened to my small group leader in the church when I was in college. This girl that was a friend of his got engaged. On the wedding day, he stopped her right before she walked down the aisle and asked if he could have a word and explained how he was in love with her and always has been. She proceeded to cancel the music and summon the groom and tell him the wedding was off (in a nice way, as nice as it can be). They have been married for 15 years, have three kids, and are amazing people. This guy was a boss.

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Another story to follow up what happened on their wedding night that tops the cake. They both had their v-cards, had never seen another person naked, and so they were obviously very nervous on their wedding night because they grew up in very strict religious households. He decided to break the tension. As he got out of the shower, he decided to whip off his towel and sit on her and try to fart. He launched himself on to the bed and pushed out a loud fart….but he pushed too much, and poop flew out and landed on her chest and neck. Long story short, they didn’t consummate the wedding that particular night.

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36. An Amazing Turn Of Events

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When the pastor finished saying “or forever hold your peace,” one of my aunt’s ex-boyfriends came running down the aisle with one of her old bras she left while moving out and said, “You left this at my house, and as long as I’m here I might as well ask you to marry me.”

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Needless to say, it wasn’t like a Hallmark movie I’d ever seen, but after the ceremony, he came to the reception hall and had cake and food and led a dance competition. He is now my uncle’s best friend.

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35. This Is Why You Listen To Your Friends

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I didn’t object during the ceremony, but I did object in the yearlong engagement beforehand. I was the best man and I said I would stand up there for him if he wanted, but from everything I knew about her, it was a bad, bad, bad idea. They got divorced two years later and he jokingly tells me he wishes someone would have told him it would end badly.

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As an aside, she was my ex and I knew she was a manipulative, money-grabbing harlot that thought she was owed the world. She broke up with me because I didn’t drive a nice enough car for her to be seen in. She was also very picky about what Catholic teachings she fervently believed in–getting intimate before marriage was okay, but using protection was a sin…that kind of nonsense.

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34. Don’t Be Dave

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Like most folks, I haven’t objected at a wedding and would die of social anxiety if I did. But I met a guy who tried. Meet Dave. Dave’s an older guy, likes to hang out with the young and hip crowd, even manages a few hookups with girls half his age. Dave dates a younger gal for a while, really likes her, but she moves on, and several years down the line, is about to get married. Dave and said gal meet up for a drink, and somehow Dave gets the impression she still loves him and wants him to make a grand gesture to “prove” his love.

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Cut to a destination wedding several weeks later. Dave trailers his horse down to the wedding with the idea that he’ll walk the horse down the aisle and shout ‘I object’ and carry the girl away. Girl in question gets wind of Dave’s plan and calls the police. As Dave pulls up at the wedding and starts to get the horse out, police stop him and politely ask him to leave. Dave still really wants to prove his love, so being Dave, he starts throwing haymakers and yelling for love for the girl. All of this is happening like a movie scene on site of the outdoor wedding. Dave is hauled away and the wedding goes in in a much more surreal tone. Kids, don’t be Dave.

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33. If Only He Had Listened To His Brother

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My dad and I took my older brother outside on the day of his wedding and told him he could leave if he wanted. I offered to give him my car keys and the cash I had on me – about $2,000. I told him we’d go in and explain it to everyone in the church. He told us he had to go through with it.

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He’s cheated a few times and got caught once having an actual girlfriend on the side. He almost got divorced because of it. He’s miserable, but he’s still married with two messed up kids. He knows they’re messed up. He confided to me (while wasted) that he wished he’d listened to us 20 years ago.

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32. He Didn’t Even Show Up

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It wasn’t an objection, but my godfather straight up didn’t show up to his own wedding. My father was the best man and everyone was coming up to him, asking where my godfather was; my dad had no idea.

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A little while later, dad received a call saying he realized he couldn’t marry her and took off to New Jersey (we live in Newfoundland, Canada). It was one of the most dramatic things we’d ever witnessed/been part of.

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31. A Forced Ceremony

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The groom tried to object. He had gotten the bride pregnant after a one-night stand, and the parents had forced a marriage. Even as a kid, I could tell that they were clearly disgusted with each other. The bride dragged her feet quite literally across the aisle and when the pastor asked if anyone objected; the groom began to nervously whisper to him, shaking his head and gesturing towards the bride.

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Both sets of parents got up and in loud whispers convinced him to go through with it. After a long, painfully awkward pause, the ceremony continued. I have been to a lot of weddings and seen a lot of drama, but this one has been one of the worst.

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30. She Knew!

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I was about 17 at my uncle Calvin’s wedding. When the pastor asked if anyone had any reason why these two should not be wed, a rather large unattractive woman stood up and shouted, “Wanda, you so stupid! You know I was with Calvin last night!” Then she left while everyone was picking up their jaws from the ground.

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The pastor tried to brush it off as nonsense and continue, while my brother and I were about to explode from holding in our laughs. I heard a squeak from him and I lost it. It was full-on, hard laughter until my dad looked at us down the aisle with a death stare. It was the most awkward situation I’ve ever been in.

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29. A Special Announcement

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About twenty-five years ago, my neighbor went to a wedding and came home to tell this story. When the pastor got to the part “…or forever hold your peace,” the bride said, “Yes, I’d like to say something.”

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She then turned around to her guests and said, “I’d like to thank my maid of honor for sleeping with my fiance last night.” With that, she threw her bouquet and stormed off. The story even made it on the radio at the time.

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28. Wrong Place, Wrong Time

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I was at a wedding one time where just as the bride and groom were about to kiss, some crazy guy started banging on the window on the balcony of the church. He was yelling out “Cassandra,” which was weird because that wasn’t the name of the bride.

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He must have realized this when everyone turned to look; he looked embarrassed, apologized and ran away. To this day, no one has any idea who that guy was and who the heck Cassandra is.

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27. “I Object”

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I went to a wedding when I was 5; it was my older brother who was getting married. Anyway, they said the whole “speak now” spiel and right before he was done, little 5-year-old me said, “I OBJECT!”

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Everyone turned and looked at me. I was dead silent because I didn’t know what would happen. My dad asked me, “Well, why do you object?” And I said, “I didn’t know what would happen if I did,” and I was promptly seated.

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26. Two Marriages Ruined

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This happened at the one and only wedding I’ve ever been to in my 20 years of life. I was working for a small law firm at the time. Originally hired as a receptionist, I ended up being more of an assistant/clerk/officer of miscellaneous duties. This involved working pretty closely with the junior associates and I got to be pretty good working buds with one of them. She was incredibly smart and insanely hot. Like, I’m 100% into men, but she was hot. This may have been the reason why the MARRIED partner of the firm was banging her in his office every Thursday afternoon. So I learned of their affair before I found out she, too, was in a relationship. A pretty serious one. As in, she was getting married in seven months. Eventually, I got invited, and I couldn’t say no because I had to work with her and it would just be awkward. It turns out most of the firm (including the partner she was sleeping with) were invited, and I was deemed just barely cool enough to make the list.

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During the ceremony, the officiant did the whole, “Does anyone have just cause for these two, and to not be married…” routine. No one objected. Great, right? Expected, right? Wrong. The bride-to-be went off. This woman absolutely lost it. She was screaming, cursing at someone in one of the first few rows, and she started to cry — keep in mind this woman was in her 30s. I was seated near the back-ish, so it took me a minute to see WHO she was yelling at — I stood up to see–it was the partner. She thought that they were in love and that when he saw her getting married, he would come to his senses, object, and they’d ride off into the sunset where (I assume but I’m kinda catty) all of his money would be waiting. Guess who the partner brought with him as his plus one… his wife, of course. Two marriages were ruined that day.

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25. Daring Them To Object

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My cousin was really into bodybuilding when he was younger and has always been really tall. Around the time he got married, he was probably 6’6” 260 lbs. I was 18 at the time and I’ll never forget what happened next.

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When the priest asked, “Are there any objections to this union?” my cousin turned to the crowd and opened his arms wide and gestured as if daring someone to object. The whole place erupted in laughter; it was amazing.

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24. A Pretty Bad Joke

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My mom and stepdad got married in March of last year. We invited a lot of friends and one of them was this lady he worked with. When the priest asked if anyone objected, the lady stood up and told her story about how she loved my stepdad and wanted to be with him, and it was so awkwardly silent, but my mom was crying.

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It was just a joke, and the priest, my stepdad, and the lady were in on it, and I got it all on video. My mom was crying and pushed him for a second, of course. I was honestly about to throw some hands. It was messed up at the time, but we had so many good laughs afterward.

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23. “Don’t Do It, Bro”

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I happened at my wedding, but not in the traditional way. We were getting married along a river at the end of summer and tons of wakeboarders and boats were out. I was a ball of nerves and the ceremony felt so serious, when all of a sudden some guy on a boat, blasting music, screamed, “Don’t do it, bro!!” And then sped off.

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It was actually hilarious and made the rest of the ceremony a lot more fun. My husband and I cracked up even though his brothers looked like they were about to jump in the river after the guy!

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22. Jerry Springer Mixed With Cops

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My wife dragged me to a wedding that I did NOT want to be at years ago, but I’m forever grateful that she did because I was able to witness one of the greatest spectacles of human drama that has ever taken place. This was like an episode of Jerry Springer mixed with Cops. The bride’s lover spoke up at that moment and yelled, “I’ll be god-damned if I’m gonna keep my mouth shut and let you steal my woman, you sorry piece of crap!”

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This deranged old man proceeded to come at the groom with a stick in hand, threatening to hit him if he didn’t give her up. It wasn’t a huge wedding, maybe 40 or so people, but every single one of them went screaming and running and maybe two people stayed and called the cops. I grabbed my wife’s hand and we retreated outside to watch the rest of the scene unfold from the church window.

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21. Lawyers Have A Sense Of Humor Too

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My friend’s older brother is a lawyer. He was marrying a lawyer. Most of their friends are lawyers. The officiant was a judge who was a friend of theirs.

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He and his fiancee thought it would be funny to plant someone in the audience. They got a friend to yell: “I object,” to which the judge yelled: “Overruled!” It seemed to have gone over well for most, but I don’t think some of their family members got the joke.”

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20. Living In Regret

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Before the ceremony on my parents’ wedding day, my mom’s future mother-in-law said to her something along the lines of, “It’s not too late; you don’t have to marry him. He’s selfish, he’s cruel, and he’ll never change. You’re too good for him. You’ll still be family to us, even if you don’t marry him.” My mom was 20 and she didn’t listen.

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They’re still together, decades later, but I think she often wishes she’d taken my granny’s advice. That’s fairly damning about my dad, huh? His mother (one of the most wonderful people I have ever had the luck to know) would probably have disowned him and adopted my mum if she could have.

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19. Insensitive And Inappropriate

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At my cousin’s wedding, the ceremony was quite elegant. Just as the pastor asked if anyone had objections to this marriage, my uncle stood in the front row where everyone could see him and proceeded to yell at and demean my cousin for getting pregnant before marriage.

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She then burst into tears and ran into the bathroom for over an hour. After she calmed down, we finished the wedding and my uncle (her father) hasn’t talked to her since.

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18. Wasn’t There Supposed To Be A Part…

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My favorite cousin was getting married at this really beautiful location. Everything was going as planned, but as the exchanging of vows took place, my aunt shouted something no one in my family would ever forgive her for.

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She said, “Wasn’t there supposed to be a part where you could object?” My cousin asked her to be escorted out and they haven’t spoken since then. The rest of the wedding was fun, though.

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17. Ushered Out

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I attended a wedding as a guest of a family member and when the pastor asked about any objections, the doors burst open and a man appeared who started to say “I do!” But before he could finish, two huge ushers, one who was my date, quickly grabbed the guy under the arms and literally lifted him off the floor and carried him out.

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The wedding continued as if nothing had ever happened. It turned out the guy was the ex of the bride and they were expecting that he might show up. It was the strangest sight I ever saw.

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16. A Sign From Above

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I was at an outdoor ceremony once, with a storm coming in. The pastor was trying to move things along so that we wouldn’t get caught in the rain (the reception was indoors, but the ceremony was outside). He asked if anyone had any objections, and instantly, there was a loud clap of thunder.

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To his credit, the pastor just paused a moment and then said, “Anyone else? Alright, in that case…” and finished the ceremony. It was funny and we ended up having a great time at the reception. The couple is still together, and happy. So take that, passive-aggressive supernatural objector!

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15. Maybe I Was Wrong

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My ex-stepmom was getting married to my cousin. I really like my cousin, and my ex-stepmom is one of the worst people I know, so I tried to talk him out of it, but he was committed. They said their vows and everything, but when the pastor asked if anyone objected, I stood up. I talked about how terrible of a person my ex-stepmom was, and how she was tricking my cousin. I practically begged him not to marry her, but he wouldn’t even look at me.

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After a minute of me talking, I realized that everyone else in the room was actively hating me, so I left. They’re still married to this day – five years next Thursday. They seem to be genuinely happy. I’m starting to wonder if I just had the wrong idea about my ex-stepmom. I go over to their house sometimes and eat dinner.

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14. Told Ya!

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I objected at a small wedding in Vegas. I was drunk and had already voiced my opinion the night before to the bride-to-be. I told her that her future husband would end up back in jail and leave her to raise all the kids alone.

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His friends then yelled at me when I made my little speech. Fast forward a year and he is now in prison for second-degree robbery, and she is alone. Needless to say, I was right.

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13. Mom… Why?

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In the UK, you have to advertise for at least 30 days prior to your wedding. You can do this up to 12 months before your wedding. If there’s any reason to object, it’s usually done during this period. Depending on the legality of the objection, you may be called into a meeting with the registrar. Sadly, this eliminates most objections at the wedding.

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A week or so before my wedding, my mom told me she didn’t like my (now) wife, and that it was not too late to run away. I didn’t listen and after her passive-aggressively criticizing my wedding, I’ve not spoken to her.

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12. It’s Just Some Random Guy

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My brother got married at a tropical resort. The big selling point was that the ceremony took place at sunset on a pier, which I’ll admit was kind of nice. The only problem was that the pier was right in the middle of the resort, so you had loads of people swimming/paddling/floundering around.

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During the ceremony, some random guy in the sea next to the pier started yelling “I object! I object!” over and over and over. Eventually, he was captured by some swimmers and more or less dragged back to the beach. The moment he got free, he bolted.

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11. She Chose The Parents

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My friend was with this girl for almost four years before he proposed, and it was another year before the wedding. On the wedding day, the bride’s mother objected because she didn’t like him. Her parents never liked him and assumed that the relationship would end before it ever got this far. The bride said she needed a moment, and she and her parents went to this little back room in the church. They were in there for at least 30 minutes.

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Finally, the door opens. The bride’s head pokes out, and she waves him in. They were in there for only a few minutes this time. The door opened again, and he walked out of the building without saying a word, got into his limo and drove off. The bride was in tears, so her mother announced to everyone in a stern, nearly robotic voice that the wedding was off. Apparently she loved him, but she cared so much about what her parents think that she decided if they didn’t like him she couldn’t marry him.

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10. A Declaration Of Love

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I witnessed this a few months ago. A random guest stood up and proceeded to basically declare his love for the bride and pour his heart out, saying that it should’ve been him up on the altar that day. The whole room went dead silent.

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The bride went red with embarrassment and the groom went red with anger. The best man promptly called for DJ/MC to start playing music. All this was in front of the random person’s wife. It didn’t go down too well.

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9. He Spilled The Beans

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I was working at a wedding when I was younger. I was running the bar at the reception, which was very close to the hall the weddings were at. We were told that the reception would begin around 4 pm. It was already about 3 pm something and I was packing fridges, the usual barman things, while one of the male guests was still sitting there drinking. I asked if he was not joining the reception, to which he replied something along the lines of: “When I have the courage.” He downs his drink and leaves. Ten minutes later he’s back, looking extremely disappointed. The guy orders a drink, and less than 30 seconds later, another guy who’s dressed extremely well (turned out to be the groom), walks in, punches him in the back of the head, and leaves. This dude just picked his drink up and sipped it further.

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I eventually found out that this dude had downed his drink, walked into the reception, and admitted to sleeping with the wife on her hen night, and again the night before the wedding. He was never invited to the wedding, he just felt the groom needed to know. So he found out where the wedding was, suited up and dropped the info mid-ceremony.

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8. They All “Objected”

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I was at a wedding and one guy got up and pledged his undying love for the bride, followed by four or five others objecting for various reasons including one guy’s love for the groom.

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By the second or third objection, though, it was clear that the whole thing was a clever ruse. I found out later that it was all set up by the bride as a prank on the unsuspecting groom and family and friends. It was pretty hilarious!

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7. Mothers Going At It

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This was in the early 70s in semi-rural Washington state. My cousin was getting married, and my aunt and the mother of the groom did not get along well. During the ceremony, when the pastor got to the part about objecting, my aunt said something to my uncle. The groom’s mom jumped up and grabbed my aunt and they started going at it, all the way out the door and into the parking area.

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They were separated, and everyone filed back into the barn, where the wedding continued. The best part, though, was when another one of my cousins simply walked into the woods after the wedding because that’s where he lived.

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6. “Just Like Her Mother”

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The father of the bride had been pretty absentee after her parents’ divorce. He had re-married and gotten into the Christian Science religion and they were both pretty terrible. The new wife was not invited to my friends’ wedding but the father came and it seemed like he was there to be supportive.

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He stood up during vows and proclaimed my friend was “a harlot just like her mother” and the groom “should get out while he can because my friend was a soul-leeching succubus.” Not the worst wedding I ever went to.

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5. Sit Down, You’re Drunk!

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I saw it nearly happen at my uncle’s wedding. A friend of theirs got too drunk, and when asked if anyone objected, he smiled, started to stand-up. My mother grabbed him by his hair and sat him back down by force.

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The drunk was a close friend of both the bride and groom so he was seated up front. He’s a nice dude but sometimes he does stupid things. It was a small non-traditional wedding. They were wed in the botanical gardens by a justice of the peace. The reception was held in the same place. When you entered the area for the wedding/reception, there was an open bar so some people helped themselves before the ceremony started. And one overindulged a bit.

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4. The Heart Knows What It Wants

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I was at a wedding between one of my really good friends and her fiancée who she had been with for nearly four years. Then, in the middle of the ceremony, my brother (a year younger than the groom, 26) stands up, yells “We can’t live this lie anymore, Will [the groom],” and proceeds to run up to the front of the chapel and kisses the groom.

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Instead of objecting, the groom kissed him back and professed his love to him and what a mistake he was about to make. My friend just immediately burst into tears and started screaming about all the time he had cost her. She ran out of the chapel and I followed her.

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3. The Son Was Right

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When I was 13, we went to my second cousin’s wedding. Everything is going great; they even got past the “speak now or forever hold your peace” part. They wrote their own vows but before my second cousin’s fiancé/wife could even begin her vows, his son got up announced to the entire room that she was cheating on his dad with a drug dealer and he couldn’t let his dad marry her.

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My second cousin yelled at his son to either sit down or leave. The son left, my second cousin married her anyway. Five years and one baby later, he finds out it was true and they separated but were too tweaked out to be able to afford a divorce. Yup, family dinners are a little awkward.

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2. Not An Objection, But A Decision

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This wasn’t exactly an objection, but I worked as a photographer at a wedding chapel on the Vegas strip. We had a young Chinese couple come in with their friends to get married; the minister did his normal speech, but when it came down to the vows, I could tell something was wrong. The groom kept putting the ring on the bride’s finger and taking it off hesitantly.

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This went in for a few uncomfortable minutes; at one point, the groom asked the bride if there was someone else and she nodded her head. After a couple more awkward moments, the minister explained that if he did not pronounce them man and wife, it wouldn’t be legal. They decided not to get married. Their friends still bought the DVD though. That was one of my favorite moments working there.

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1. Cancer Can’t Stop Us, Grandma

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My grandmother-in-law-to-be texted me a few hours before the ceremony, saying, “We love you, but in this family, we do not do divorce, so if you’re not ready, you can still back out now,” or something to that effect. Mind you, I was about to marry her grandson, in the hospital, in between chemo treatments, during his second battle with leukemia. We were together when he first got sick and the day we got the diagnosis, I went to battle for him. After we got through that and thought we were in the clear, we got engaged and started planning a beautiful 150-person wedding. Then we got the news seven months later that the leukemia was back, and that with the best possible scenario timeline, we would be in the hospital on our planned wedding day. We decided the day we got word he had relapsed, that we were going right to the office to get a marriage license and going to get married in the hospital. I didn’t stop to think whether or not he would make it; I just knew I had to marry this man.

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After the wedding, and during treatment, there were many lonely nights when I didn’t think he was going to make it, but somehow he did, and I am perfectly happy. We are about to celebrate his two-year anniversary from his stem cell transplant, and he is doing fantastic, fully off of all medication, full genetic remission, and working full time as a teacher while working on his masters. The whole thing has been a huge rollercoaster, and while he feels great, and is just ready to move on, I have anxiety all most to the point of PTSD surrounding certain events/things. As for Grandma, she is a good person, but a total meddler/almost narcissist. She apparently gave all of the grandchildren the same sort of message before their weddings. She wants to control every aspect of her family members’ lives, in a backwoods Texas sort of way… too bad I don’t roll that way, I am the queen of my castle! She’s tried to meddle in so many things, but the text before the wedding changed my gut feeling of her. It cut deep and broke me down.

Kat Begonja

Kat Begonja

Lover of animals, writing and all things Croatian!