Waiters Share Strange Things People Have Ordered in Their Restaurants

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Most of us have at least one weird food preference, but some people take these preferences to the next level. In the following stories, waiters recount some of the strangest things customers have ordered at their restaurant–things like a 9-patty burger, an exact number of fries on a plate, and impromptu requests to write messages on food to try to mend things with their significant other. Read on for some bizarre restaurant requests.

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50. Just Burn It!

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Not a waiter but a cook. I had a lady order her tofu scramble burnt. So I cooked it hard. She sent it back because it wasn’t burnt enough. So I cooked it harder. She sent it back again and the waiter said she really wants it burnt. So I got a wok super hot, put too much oil in and proceeded to burn the crap out of it. My chef came by and lost his crap.

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I explained it to him and he watched me burn just ruin the thing. It was black and smelled like a tire fire. She ate all of it and said we were the only place to get it right. She came back every weekend for it and we had to train new cooks on how to burn the living heck out of her food for her. I still can’t comprehend why she would eat that.

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49. The Happiest Lobster Isn’t Happy Anymore

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I worked at a restaurant/fish market type of establishment, where we sold raw product but would also prepare the food on the spot. One day, I was helping an old lady out and she told me she had never had a whole lobster and would love to try one. As she was shopping in the fish MARKET portion, I assumed she wanted it live. So we went over to the lobster tank and she picked the happiest little lobster out there. I asked her if she wanted to pay $16.99 for it alive or $22.99 for us to cook and serve it to her. She decided to take it alive, so I took some time to weigh it out, and wrap it up in a takeout box for her to take home.

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I put it down on the table and walk away. A minute or two later I hear a commotion and come out to see this little lady with a knife trying to cut off the claw of the lobster. Apparently, she thought that she was supposed to eat this thing live. I cooked it for her.

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48. Spaghetti Appetizer? What?

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I once had a guy place his order, and then say, “And give me one of those spaghetti appetizers.” I had been working there for a couple of months, and we had no pasta dishes whatsoever on the menu. I politely tried to clarify this, but he wasn’t having it. He just kept getting more irate. He insisted that he eats here all the time, and he always gets the spaghetti appetizer.

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Eventually, he gets up from his table, storms over to another one, and points at what he wants on another diner’s table. He was pointing at their coleslaw. And yes, as far as he was concerned, I was still the jerk for not knowing what he was talking about. Our slaw was a southern style slaw, where the cabbage is shredded. So, the cabbage is in strings, but you would still have to be some sort of weirdo to confuse it with noodles.

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47. Just Warm It And Plate It

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I worked at a Ponderosa, a chain restaurant that serves steak. A mom and three kids came in. The youngest was maybe nine years old. All of them weighed at least 300 lbs. each. The youngest would eat about a quarter of his steak. Then the mom would call me over and say the steak was too well done and would send it back. She would plead for me to ask the cook to make it rarer.

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If possible, just barely warm it on the grill, then pour the raw blood from the pack and other packs as well on the plate. She wanted her chubby little boy — who looked like a puppet of a garbage pail kid–to eat raw steak drenched in blood. It was disgusting. To this day, I wish I had asked them to leave.

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46. Grease Plus Salt And Pepper

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Two women ordered onion rings. One lady asked for a cup of the sauce at the bottom of the plate. I said, “Ma’am, that is actually fryer grease, not a sauce.” She then looked at me and said: “I don’t care what it is, just get me a cup of it.”

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I was like, OK, your wish is my command. So I went to the back, ladled out a soup cup of fryer grease and brought it out. The woman seasoned the grease with salt and pepper and went to town.

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45. Her “Pregnant Daughter’s” Weird Cravings

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I used to work at McDonald’s and every morning this lady would come through and ask for a coffee with hot mustard. She would always order EXACTLY like this: “I want a small decaf with a hot mustard on the side. It’s for my daughter, she mixes them together because she’s pregnant! Ahhahahahahhah! Isn’t that crazy?”

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She pulls up to pay. “Here’s my money for my pregnant daughters CRAAAAZY coffee! Hahahahaha!” Pulls up to pick-up window. “Thanks for the coffee, my pregnant daughter loves this can you believe it?” Then she would mix it right there at the window while trying to get the most attention as possible before driving off. Every. Day.

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44. A Cheesy Woman

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I work at a bacon food truck in San Francisco. And oh boy do I have a lot of crazy requests and ignorant customers on a day to day basis. But one of my favorites is, I had this lady come up asking for our grilled cheese sandwich. She was insistent on making sure that all products are natural and not processed. I told her where everything came from and assured her that we have only the best ingredients.

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After receiving her food, five minutes go by and she comes back furious. I was confused why, assuming that maybe there was a hair or if the cheese isn’t melted enough. I asked her what is the issue and is there anything I can do to fix it. She blurted out, “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull here, but I KNOW for a FACT that cheese does NOT come out of cows orange. How dare you lie to me!” I was baffled, I could not believe what I just heard. I said I know it doesn’t, and I also know cows don’t produce cheese out of their udders. She was strong on her belief on how cheese was produced; I offered her her money back as people in line were laughing at her. I just hope she eventually googled how cheese is made.

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43. Six Inches With A Cherry On Top

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The woman insisted on a baked potato with whipped cream. She meant sour cream, and she was very plainly wasted when she arrived so I tried to help her out. She kept repeating “whipped” and got upset when I asked if she was sure she wanted that exactly. She got so angry and asked me what my problem was that I wasn’t understanding.

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So, I brought a baked potato to her with about six inches of whipped cream on top, and a cherry. Her face was priceless. She realized her mistake and apologized profusely, we all laughed, and she got her baked potato with sour cream anyway, no hard feelings.

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42. Truth Or Dare?

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I work at a sandwich shop and we’ve had people order really disgusting things. One guy ordered an Elvis sandwich (which is peanut butter, honey, banana, and bacon) and asked for coleslaw, pineapple, sauerkraut, and a whole bunch of other veggies, mustard/mayo. It was the grossest thing I’ve ever made. I found out after his friends paid him 20 bucks to eat the whole thing. He came back the next day and ordered it again because he liked it.

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I also had a guy order a strawberry shake, and demanded that I thoroughly clean all the shake supplies and utensils before making it because he was lactose intolerant, and he didn’t want the Oreo shake stuff getting in his. I tried to explain to him that Oreo is vegan and that ice cream has lactose in it, but he wouldn’t hear anything of it.

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41. “Mommy Lets Me Drink Like A Big Girl”

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We have a drink which is 50/50 ouzo and rumple minze. We call it “a cloud.” All in all, this cloud is good enough to clean the corrosion from your pipes, if need be. One day this little girl, about 6 or 7, dressed like a doll comes up, stands on her little toesies to be able to see over the bar, looks me straight in the eye and says: “I want one extra big, double cloud, just for me.” She insisted while explaining that her mommy lets her drink like a big girl.

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Apparently, she saw that all the grown-ups were drinking them so she wanted one without having to share it with her brother. Turns out her mother gave them “kids” cloud, which was fizzy water with mint. The woman apologized profusely, right after she laughed at the distorted look on my face. Good old bartending times.

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40. Cooking It Uncleaned

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I was a waitress at Red Lobster in Southern California. This older German lady would come in regularly and pick a lobster out of the tank. She would demand it got boiled alive and whole; DO NOT GUT IT OR CLEAN IT and bring it to her.

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She would eat the intestines and all the crap you’re legally supposed to clean out of the lobster before serving it. We always accommodated her and her Pomeranian who sat at the table with her.

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39. Secret Sauce Obsession

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I worked at McDonald’s as a young man and this lady with the largest chin mole came in every business day and ordered the same thing every time. 1) Big Mac Meal (nothing crazy), supersized, 2) Extra trimmings/ingredients in their own Big Mac Box,  3) Two medium-sized cups (16 oz each) FILLED TO THE BRIM with Big Mac sauce.

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She didn’t take it home. She ate there in the restaurant. She usually came back for extra fries to finish up her second cup of secret sauce. Seeing this meal take place was horrific, she would scoop out a hearty portion of sauce on a grip of fries. She came in so often I began to realize she smelled like the secret sauce.

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38. Dine And Dash

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The weirdest thing I’ve ever seen was this thin blonde woman who would come in twice daily, each time with a different man. She would always get a burger with extra cheese and a quesadilla. She would then proceed to take off the buns and use the quesadilla pieces as a bun (admittedly a pretty cool idea), but it didn’t stop there. She would dump a whole cup of olive oil on this monstrosity and hammer the whole thing down like it was her last meal.

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Needless to say, the guys were really taken aback by this grotesque mastication of cheese and oil. She would finish her meal, excuse herself to the restroom and just leave the restaurant, leaving the guy with the bill. And she did this twice a day! For like a few weeks! What?!

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37. He Felt “Special”

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I worked at a national pizza chain for a while as a manager. We used to get this guy who would order all the time. He was lactose intolerant so he couldn’t have cheese, and had severe heartburn when he ate red sauce. He would order an XL Supreme with no sauce and no cheese. I told the guy if I did that, the toppings would just fly all over the box but he didn’t care.

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We ended up just baking the dough separate from the toppings and put the toppings in a small wing box on the side for him. The guy said no other pizza place would do that for him and he turned out to be a great repeat customer who always tipped well.

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36. There’s No Such Thing As Free Spaghetti, Sweetie

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A customer asked for a spaghetti with a side of more noodles and extra sauce because they were going to share. So, I said, “So you’d like one spaghetti and then an additional order of spaghetti?”

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They then told me I wasn’t getting it and they just wanted extra noodles and some sauce on the side. I told them we would have to charge for extra noodles, and they ended up not wanting it. They somehow thought free spaghetti was a reasonable request.

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35. They Used Their Coffee Mugs To What?

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I’m currently working at a Thai bistro that offers a ton of options for vegans, vegetarians, diabetics, or anyone with food allergies. I could go on about strange or complicated orders; however, this one will always make me chuckle. While working at Cheddar’s, a casual American style restaurant, two very rude and very overweight women sat in my section. They order two ice waters with “a ton” of lemons. I’ve seen or heard of other people who order this quite a bit who just make lemonade at the table so it wasn’t too unusual but still deserved an odd look.

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But once they ordered their food, they also ordered two cups of “boiling water.” I’m a little confused but bring them two mugs of really hot water from the coffee brewer and drop them off. When their food comes out, I notice these ladies made instant mashed potatoes in a coffee mug!!! Who does that?!

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34. One Saucy Customer

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I’m not a waiter, but during my time as a host at the wonderful establishment known as Red Lobster, a man would come in every Tuesday around 7 and order linguine Alfredo.

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This would be totally normal, but he ordered it without noodles or shrimp. He’d happily sip away at a bowl of heavy, garlicky cream for a couple of hours while reading some Tom Clancy book before giving the waiter/waitress a large tip and leaving. I talked to him a few times, and he was as normal as could be. Cool guy.

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33. The Easiest $50 Of His Life

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When I was doing in-room dining in a fancy hotel, I had a guest make the following order: six Double Stoli Sodas; a bowl of whole, uncut limes; fresh cracked pepper; and a side of mayo.

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Upon bringing these items to his room, I presented my pepper grinder and asked where he’d like the pepper. He proceeded to direct me to grind pepper onto the bowl of uncut limes for at least a full 60 seconds and then, as a parting gesture, asked me to “take that mayo back with [me].” I made like $50 off the order, but it was pretty much the weirdest thing ever.

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32. “The Customer Is Always Right”

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I worked in a few full-service restaurants but the weirdest was actually back when I worked at Chick-Fil-A in high school. This lady came in and just wanted a grilled chicken patty with one piece of lettuce in a separate container. She said she wanted them both in the deluxe containers, not the original (for those that have never been to Chick-Fil-A that’s like a bag vs box). And she wanted a Diet Coke with 10 full ice cubes, no half ice cubes.

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She also wanted 10 full fries, again, no half ones or anything, just the big flat ones. My manager was all “the customer is always right” so I spent 15 minutes preparing her order making sure everything was right and trying to explain to the cooks exactly how to make it.

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31. Any Pink Is A No No

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My first job as a server was at a Cracker Barrel. A lady orders a burger, “I want the lettuce, tomato, cheese, and pickles all on separate plates and if I see any pink…ANY pink, it’s going back.” I tell her I can give her one big plate as there wouldn’t be enough room for that but she insists. I bring her the burger as per request. As I am setting the plates down the lettuce leaf bumps into the bun. She instantly demands me to take everything back, even the things that didn’t touch, and replace it all including the burger since it was apparently pink.

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My manager sees me doing this and instead of following her ridiculous request he simply picks up the burger with his bare hands, nukes it for a few minutes in the microwave (it looked so warped), rubs the lettuce and tomato and pickles all over it and tells me to send everything back as before. She seemed as satisfied as she was going to allow herself to be.

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30. It Tastes Amazing Though

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At the Italian restaurant I worked at as a server/bartender/manager for five years, we had a lot of regular customers come in and had some strange requests. Most were nothing too special, but one guy would come in four to five days a week and he would never order anything on the menu unless it was a busy night and we wouldn’t have time to “get crazy.” On the slower nights though, he would order things with sauces we didn’t normally make, or special dessert concoctions (even though we prepared desserts daily, and did not make them to order). The craziest thing he ever ordered though, was a Doughnut Explosion. To be clear, we did not have nor know how to make doughnuts. However, there was a Dunkin’ Donuts next to our location, and he sent one of his favorite servers next door to pick up a dozen random doughnuts.

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When he came back, the customer told me which ones he wanted on his dessert, and I proceeded to go back into the kitchen and whip up his dessert to his specification. It consisted of two doughnuts, topped with vanilla ice cream, layered between the brownie cake that was our house specialty, and topped with Chambord and a port wine fig sauce that we put on pork chops. This was one of the most disgusting things I’ve ever seen in a restaurant, but he let me try a bite and it was amazing! Needless to say, he ordered it a few more times before I left that restaurant.

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29. “Is She Familiar With The Concept Of Salad?”

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I worked for a while in a vegetarian/vegan-friendly buffet restaurant. A lady came up to me with a plate already filled with various salads (that she, being a buffet, had personally selected). She showed me the plate and asked me: “Do your salads have any raw ingredients in it?” And before I could answer: “Because I’m pregnant, see, so I can’t eat anything raw.” While still showing me her plate of definitely-raw, various-veggies-and-fruits salads.

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I was so dumbstruck that all I could say was “Let me ask the kitchen to make sure.” And I actually did, because “is salad raw” is one of these questions that make you question even the most basic things, such as what a salad is, or what hats are. I asked the chef if our salads had raw ingredients in them, he looked at me and said: “Is she familiar with the concept of salad?” We ended up switching her plate for another one because yes, our salads had raw ingredients in them. However, all in all, she was really nice about it and didn’t mind waiting a bit more for us to fix her plate.

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28. The Sour Old Man

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I worked at a coffee shop that serves French crepes. One day, a sour old man demanded a crepe with black bean burger, shredded coconut, pecans, whipped cream, and powdered sugar. The dude ate every last bite of it. That just ain’t right man. To be fair, I don’t think that man had it together in his head. This guy would ride his bike in sub-zero snowstorms in the middle of traffic-heavy roads. I know this because I and other motorists would have to swerve around him when I was on my way to work. He had no sense of what appropriate conversation was.

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He would talk about who he was banging at the time, and he would make dirty jokes, to which I would respond, “Ugh…haha…yeah…” which horrified customers. This dude would also hit on female co-workers in painfully awkward ways. And then this jerk would ask for that damn crepe. Eventually, the staff and owner decided his behavior was totally unacceptable and we banned him from the shop.

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27. “Please Take Me Back”

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I waited at a chain burger place–Red Robin for those who know–a few years ago. I had couple in their mid-30s come in and they had a little baby with them. Everything was going well with low stress as the couple is mostly chatting and not fussing over anything. The woman gets up to use the bathroom, and once she’s out of sight, the guy gets up and bolts to me. “Hey buddy, do you guys have a dessert that’s on a big plate?” I replied, “Yes. We have a big ice cream cake dish. Would you like one?” He said, “YES! OK, I’ll give you another $5 if you write “Please take me back” on it in chocolate sauce or whatever.” I was like, “Uhhh ok sure…”

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So I’m in the kitchen explaining to the cooks what they want and they’re just laughing and laughing while one guy slowly writes it out. I nervously drop off the dish and don’t even look at her while I say “Enjoy!” But it must have worked because the guy gave me a big thumbs up and a smile as they walked out. And I got my extra tip.

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26. The Meal Was Too Fancy For His Taste

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I’m a banquet hall waitress. At one event, the little treats given to the guests (i.e. the “thanks for coming” presents) were candy apples–they were covered in really elaborate icing, sprinkles, and the works.

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This one guy asked me if I could get him a bowl of hot water so that he could put his candied apple in the bowl, get rid of the icing, and eat a regular apple… The icing really didn’t want to come off, he made a huge mess, and he didn’t eat the apple. Sigh.

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25. How Do You Like Your Eggs?

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I worked at IHOP. I took a table’s order and get to the wife. She ordered a meal and I ask her how she’d like her eggs. She replies “unfertilized.” Having heard this joke from drunken men before, I brushed it off and chuckled, but she was serious.

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She said “you know when you crack the egg, and you see that little white bit stuck to the yolk? That’s the “seed,” and I don’t want it in my eggs.” Still dead serious. I glance at the husband looking for answers and he just shrugs his shoulders and makes an “I’m not getting involved” sort of face.

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24. Chew And Spit

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One place I worked at was a diner-themed restaurant in NYC. I say diner-themed because it really was a theme; the pricing was way higher than a true diner. This one girl would come in and order one of our salads. The entree salads were really obnoxiously enormous, like enough for at least two meals and enough ingredients to make it fattening.

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She would also ask for a stack of paper napkins. She would chew each bite, then spit it out in the napkins. She would get through the whole salad in this manner. Kinda nasty, but she tipped fine. I was more worried about what was going through her mind to make her want to do that or to think it’s okay to leave a table covered in napkins of chewed-up food.

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23. Patty Overload

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A customer ordered a “triple Grandpa burger.” This is a common mistake customers often made with us. A Grandpa burger is a triple patty burger, so they often say “triple Grandpa burger” when really they just mean the one 3-patty burger. But after this one guy, I always clarified that was what they wanted because this guy actually wanted a 9-patty burger. I asked him twice to make sure I wasn’t hearing wrong but no, that’s exactly what he wanted.

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Not only that, he wanted cheese on every single patty. So that’s nine 5-oz. beef patties AND nine slices of cheese. Plus, you know, condiments and the like. This wasn’t even a big guy. Looked fit as a fiddle, handsome, about 25 years old. And he was alone so it couldn’t have been a dare. I guess he was just really hungry. So I had the cook make it and we stood behind the counter and watched as he ate Every. Single. Bite. I wasn’t even sure how I was supposed to react when he was done, but he seemed quite pleased, thanked us, and left. Never saw that guy again.

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22. She’s Allergic To The Shape

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When I worked at Olive Garden, I once had a lady order a pasta dish that is generally made with rigatoni. However, she requested the rigatoni be substituted with angel hair pasta instead because she was allergic to it…And let me clarify, it was not a gluten-free/wheat substitution, it was regular pasta.

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Naturally, I gave her a very confused look as I waited for something else to follow, but nope, she stuck with that story. I’m now concerned that there is some monster of a doctor out there pronouncing people allergic to cylinders… God knows what other shapes people are now living in fear of.

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21. Bluer Than Blue

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When I was waiting tables at the Outback, I had a customer ask for an eight-ounce prime rib. “And how would you like that prime rib cooked, sir?” “I want it blue.” “Blue?” “Yes, blue.” I wrote down the order and sent it to the kitchen but, out of curiosity, I immediately asked the chef if he knew what it was and if so, what was it?

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He guffawed for a second or two and then said, “Blue is… a blue prime rib is when I cut a very rare prime rib and put it in the refrigerator for about five minutes. When I take it out, it’ll be blue(-ish) so I plate it and serve it.” So, I took it to the table and dude said, “That’s exactly like I wanted!” Ick, cold, raw meat… it’s what’s for dinner.

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20. More Sweets In Her Sweet Tea

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A very pregnant woman was seated with three very rowdy, obnoxious men. They all order sweet tea. She looks me dead in the eye and says, “Now honey, I’m the type of girl who likes to chew on her sweet tea.” I had no idea what that meant until less than five minutes later, I return to the table with a pitcher, refill their glasses, and realize that the sugar caddy was empty. The woman asks me to bring her more sugar. So I come back with enough to refill the caddy (a small handful). She says, “No. I need more than that.” And I ask, “How much more?” and she hands me an untouched appetizer plate and says, ‘Fill this up.’ So at this point, I’m making my way over to the drawer where we keep the sugar.

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I fill the plate with the rest of what was left in the drawer – about 25 sugar packets, give or take. I bring her that and the pitcher to refill again. The whole table is guzzling this stuff down, but she is the only one adding extra sugar. They were there for about three and a half hours. I refilled her sugar plate at least four times, having to go into the back and open up a whole new box of Domino sugar packets.

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19. All Separately

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We have this guy come in almost every week and order the same thing. Penne pasta by itself in a bowl. In a separate bowl, some Alfredo sauce. On yet another plate blackened chicken cut into cubes for him. Another dang plate: sauteed green bell peppers and finally sauteed onions, and yes, all separately.

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He comes in with three other people who order off the menu. He makes you stand there at the table while he proceeds to then mix everything up himself and give the other dishes right back. No one understands what in the world his deal is.

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18. She Doesn’t Like Ice But…

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I had a woman come in and tell me “I’d like a lemonade with no ice. I’m freezing and don’t want it to be too cold.” OK, sure one lemonade no ice coming up.

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While I was gone she’s looking at the drink menu and sees our Icelandic lemonade (an adult frozen lemonade) and asks me if she can get the kid version. “So a frozen lemonade?” “Yes.” So this lady is too cold for ice in her drink but she wants a frozen lemonade? I remember her being super picky about the rest of her food and flipping her lid about us being out of avocados too.

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17. Impossible Chicken Recipe

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I worked at a Red Lobster a while back… every Sunday afternoon, a dozen or so members of the Red Hat Society would come squat at our biggest table for about 4 hours. These women were absolutely horrible. From what I understand, the RHS is about being uninhibited as you get older, and not worrying about what people think of you. I think the ones in that area interpreted it as “I’m old, you have to deal with my crap, I’m going to make your life hell, tough cookies.” Anyway, one of them had ill-fitting false teeth and couldn’t chew literally anything.

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Every Sunday, she’d come in and order the Chicken Finger meal, but she wanted it fried just enough to cook the breading, then microwaved to cook the chicken, then thrown in the steamer to make the entire meal soggy to the point of falling apart. Every Sunday she’d send it back over and over because “it’s too tough, it’s like chewing rubber. Just make it so it’s edible and we’ll be fine.” We were finally able to convince our manager that it was literally impossible to get it soft enough for this hag to chew, and one week he refused to remake it a third time. I’ve never seen such a snarling, vicious human being in my life. She screamed at every employee she could find for twenty minutes before finally being told that the police were going to remove her from the building if she wouldn’t leave on her own.

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16. This Is How My Trust Issues Started

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I had this lady say, “I’m allergic to carrots. Can you make sure there are no carrots in the stuffing?” (She was ordering the pot roast, which comes with stuffing). I already knew there were carrots in the recipe, but I decided to go talk to the chef and see if there were a way to omit it. I also wanted to make sure the pot roast was cooked separately from the stuffing since there was a food allergy involved.

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I returned to the table with news that the carrots were shredded and cooked the whole time with the stuffing. But the stuffing was separate from the pot roast, so all she needed to do was select a different side. Then she says, “That’s good. Shredded is fine. I just wanted to make sure the carrots weren’t cut into thick discs.” Now I have a distrust of anyone that claims to have a food allergy.

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15. It Looked Like A Barf Sandwich

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I used to work at a pizza place that also did subs. We would toast the subs in the oven, with cheese and meat on them, then put the vegetables and condiments on. One lady had a regular order that was something like… Ham, turkey, Swiss cheese (sounds good), dripping with thousand island dressing, lettuce, pickles, and red onions.

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The thing is, she wanted the whole sandwich made, THEN put into the oven. It came out looking like a barf sandwich. The idea of wilted baked lettuce was the worst too. She was a super nice lady though–even crocheted me a pair of slippers.

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14. Making Sure It’s 13

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I worked at a small-town diner place last summer. This guy came in every single day for lunch, and would order a plate of 13 french fries. If there were any more or any less, he would politely send it back for us to fix it.

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One time, he noticed a fry that was really small and sent it back because we gave him 12 and a half fries instead of 13. We would get annoyed by him, but he was a really good tipper so we dealt with it.

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13. All Beefed Up

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Back when I was 18, my first job was at a family-owned Chinese restaurant. There were maybe 15 tables in total. Until the owners sold the business, it was the place to get authentic Chinese food. Well, this couple came in with their son. They were overweight so we had to push some tables together for them to fit but I digress. The restaurant I worked at sold ethnic Chinese food plus American Chinese staples like chicken and broccoli and sweet and sour chicken/pork/shrimp whatever.

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So, this couple orders two plates each of nothing but beef with vegetables… but they asked for no vegetables. No rice, no vegetables, just 6 plates of marinated beef. I asked them twice to make sure I heard them correctly and they were like yup, we just want the meat. Ah, Tennessee at its finest. This is probably not on the extreme end but at 18, I was fairly grossed out. Not to mention they ate every bit of it.

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12. Flower Salad

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I work at a catering hall, and the weirdest thing that somebody “ordered” was the bouquet of flowers from another table. So I switched the flowers from one table to the other (they were the same arrangement too), and the guy said thanks, sat down, and started eating it.

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Petals, branches, everything except that moist spongey thing at the bottom that held the flowers. He gave me a two-dollar bill as a tip though, so he’s good in my book.

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11. A Salad Turned To Soup

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I was a server at Crackerbarrel in Tennessee for about 2 years… this Crackerbarrel was right of the interstate so the majority of our customers were travelers but we had a couple of regulars.

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This one old lady would come in every Wednesday and Sunday at exactly 2 pm and would order a fried chicken salad. But for the dressing she would request two large bowls of piping hot white gravy and grits…. she’d then proceed to mix the grits and gravy into the salad and eat the entire thing. She did always sit in my section and tipped 10$ cash!

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10. Shredding Broccoli

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There was a very nice couple that would eat at the steak house that I worked at. The man would order two plates of raw broccoli as soon as they sat down, before drinks. They would wait until the broccoli was brought to the table before placing any of the rest of the order.

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The lady would then proceed to half stand, half kneel in the booth and speed shred the broccoli into tiny pieces. She would add it to whatever she ordered and would cut her entire meal into half-inch cubes. I offered to have the kitchen cut the broccoli for her (we had a julienne device) but she liked doing it herself. Nice couple.

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9. 30-Second Rule

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I used to work at a pizza/wings delivery take out place. One day a man ordered some wings and said: “I only want the wings put in the fryer for 30 seconds.” I told him that it’s raw chicken and they have to cook the full time or you can get sick.

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Welp, he didn’t care; he insisted that we only cook the wings for 30 seconds. My manager overheard and told the man because of health regulations we had to fully cook them. The guy ended up leaving without wings.

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8. Behind The Microwave

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A guy once ordered a plate of spaghetti and a cup of cottage cheese on the side. When he got the order he dumped the entire cup of cottage cheese on top of the spaghetti and asked to have it warmed up in the back of the microwave. Why would someone heat food in the back of the microwave and not inside the microwave? One of the weirdest I’ve ever seen.

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Another woman would come in every week and get the same thing. An empty plate. She would then walk over to the condiment table and fill the entire plate with melted cheese and then go eat the entire thing with a spoon. She always went back for seconds.

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7. She’s Allergic To Everything

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Not a waiter but a manager. I worked for a really, really famous chef in a very meat-focused restaurant in London. I had a lady call in booking a huge table for her birthday. She was vegetarian and allergic to everything. Milk, wheat, nuts, onion, tomatoes, even chocolate. And a list of other crap printed on a card. This was legit, by the way, she sent me a medical report, with severity levels and reactions. Something like this is not that uncommon but usually, it gets dismissed as attention-seeking or unneeded drama. This lady also said she’s fine with anything, it’s her birthday, she’s not bothered by what she eats, she just wants all her guests to be happy without her dying.

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Anyway, celeb chef owner was in that day for a shoot and new menu testing when I told him about this. He made it his personal project that day to make her a full course meal and even a flourless, egg-free, dairy-free, nut-free carob (chocolate alternative) cake. With orange zest and some sort of sour cream she could have. They even used the test kitchen to prevent any cross-contamination. When the dinner was over, the chef had left already. The lady came over to the kitchen in tears saying its the first time in 20 years she could have a birthday without a fruit salad. We just gave her a note from the chef, saying: “Hope you had a great birthday and that you enjoyed the cake. Love, J.” It was awesome seeing how much effort went into this dish and how happy it made her.

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6. The Onion Man

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I had a 4 top once and one of the gentlemen ordered and asked for extra onion. He made an extreme emphasis on EXTRA ONION. So I go to put the order in and I have to talk to the chef to make sure he understands EXTRA ONION. So when the order comes out, I get a side plate of a cut WHOLE ONION. I giggle and take the order to the table. I put the orders of food in front of all the other guests and leave onion man for last.

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I set his plate of food and extra onion down, and he looks up at me and starts laughing. The whole table is now laughing. I’m like what? Apparently wherever they go, no matter what, he always has to ask for MORE onion, and this time my snarky chef nailed it.

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5. The Meatiest Vegan

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The restaurant I used to work at had several vegetarian options already on the menu (probably about a dozen) and most of them could be very easily modified to be vegan. We had four veggie sandwiches, several different vegetarian “burgers,” two different salads, a couple of mushroom and potato dishes, a pasta dish–all of them could be made vegan, and still taste pretty good, with the simplest of substitutions like “sub mayo for mustard” or “hold the cheese.”

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Despite that, this woman comes in one night and insists we make the meatiest sandwich we sell vegan for her. This thing contains no vegetables at all; only the bread is vegan-friendly. The sandwich was two types of meat, two types of cheese, and mayonnaise. The sandwich somehow ended up being some kind of mushroom-avocado-mustard-marinara sauce monstrosity with lettuce and tomatoes–served hot. It looked absolutely disgusting, and the girl who’d taken her order had pretty much openly expressed how skeptical she was. The woman ate the whole thing, but I’m pretty sure she did it out of spite.

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4. Not The Same Rolls

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I worked as a waiter at a Japanese sushi restaurant when I had a middle-aged lady come in to eat by herself. After allowing her time to look over the menu, I come by the table to take her order. She excitedly tells me how thrilled she is about our wide selection of rolls and proceeds to order three rolls.

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I bring out her order and she looks at the plate puzzled. I ask her if everything’s okay and she tells me that she thinks I gave her the wrong order. I proceed to tell her that that is indeed her order and she replies, “I am so sorry, I was under the impression that these were going to be dinner rolls”….as in bread…at a sushi restaurant…

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3. Keeping Up With Odd Orders

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At Subway, I had a couple of odd orders. The first was only odd because she was like 90 lbs and she wanted a soaking wet sub. She wanted a 6-inch suc with two pieces of turkey, no veggies, and half a bottle of mayo. Also, I had a friend who worked at the coffee shop, and the same girl’s coffee order was a small iced coffee, one cream, 10 sugars. The second odd-order was: cut the bread completely in half, toast the top. Place exactly four pieces of cheese on the bottom so it covers the whole of the bread, mayo on top of that, more mayo then lettuce but I was instructed to take two fingers and my thumb to grab it, place it down on the sandwich, and do that three times. Then add cucumbers and tomatoes, alternating. Then they wanted the turkey and ham laid flat on top. Replace the top, and toast again.

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Another one – a foot-long Spicy Italian, double meat, double cheese, no veggies, and mayo on Herb and Cheese bread. That’s 40 slices of Pepperoni and Salami on bread that is baked with cheese on it. If I had to guess this topped out at about 1,200 calories. Also, they got a large diet soda and some cookies.

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2. To Arrange “Geometrically”

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When I worked at Subway, late one night, two of the largest and most bizarre dudes I’d ever seen walked in. They reminded me of 80s era TV wrestlers. Maybe they were. They each ordered two footlongs apiece with nothing but onions and BBQ sauce. So much onions it emptied the onion container. I assumed they had their own sandwich stuff in the car and they just wanted our bread but they sat down and ate them there.

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We also had a guy periodically come in and demand we cut his tomatoes and stuff in quarters then arrange them geometrically on his salad, whatever the heck that’s supposed to mean.

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1. Are You Serious?

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I worked at a fast food sort of cafe. A guy came in with his daughter who was around 12. He ordered a BLT for himself and a ham and cheese quiche for his daughter. The transaction went fine, and his food was brought to his table no problem.

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He comes up a couple of minutes later asking if there were any eggs in the quiche since his daughter is allergic. I was like “Uhh.. yes there is. It’s basically an egg pastry/cake.” I think I ended up swapping the quiche for another sandwich. I couldn’t believe he didn’t know there were eggs in a quiche and ordered it anyways without knowing what’s in it for his daughter.

Marijean Grace

Marijean Grace

Spreading some good positive vibes!